Having difficult conversations with loved ones is no one’s favourite thing to do, but they are necessary. As you get older, thinking about how you want your twilight years to go is unavoidable. By having conversations about end-of-life care, you can make sure that your loved ones are aware of your wishes and can make sure they are enacted.

Here are some things to think about before you broach the topic.

Understanding end-of-life care options

Care at the end of your life can come in many different forms so it is important to be informed about your options.

There are three main types of care: palliative, hospice and home-based. Palliative care typically takes place in a hospital with a specialist team that aims to manage any pain and other symptoms as well as make your life as comfortable as possible.
Hospices are dedicated spaces that aren’t as clinical as hospitals for people nearing the end of their lives. They are designed for shorter-term stays, but they are incredibly kind and caring spaces.

End-of-life care can be given at home when suitable. You may have adaptations made to your home to make it as easy as possible for you, as well as having medical staff visit multiple times a day to look after you.

Initiating the conversation with sensitivity

Having a conversation with loved ones about your wishes can feel daunting. Discussing your mortality isn’t something you will ever want to do, but it is necessary.

It is important to remain empathetic to their feelings. Your loved ones may feel incredibly upset or awkward about it all. Try to keep the conversation open and honest, answering as many questions as possible.

If you are broaching the subject with an elderly relative, try to warn them that you want to talk about it. It may take a few different conversations before you fully understand each other.

Legal considerations and advance care planning

Organizing your affairs is always a good idea in case you become unable to do so later in life. There are several things you should do to protect your assets and interests.

Appoint a lasting power of attorney. This means that your nominee will be able to make decisions for you surrounding your care, health and finances. Make sure you file your application with the Office of the Public Guardian.

If you feel unsure about anything, consult with lawyers who specialise in elder law. They will be able to guide you through the different processes.

Accessing support services and resources

There are plenty of services available to support both you and your family through end-of-life care. You could seek out local respite services to give your family a break from caring for you as well as to get you out of the house and meet different people.

Counselling services are also beneficial for anyone struggling with the reality of reaching their last few years as well as their family members.

Aiden Winn

Aiden is an editorial and production staffer at Title Media. He’s constantly looking for opportunities to have fun and get creative, whether it be art, baking, storytelling… you name it!

The post Discussing options for end-of-life care with a relative appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Dying with dignity on your own terms has historically usually meant a trip to Switzerland. But there is an alternative for those who want some control over their ending. Meet the ‘Living Will’.

To some, death can be a scary concept. However, for many people, the thought of being kept alive in a state where you are unable to move, communicate, and/or recognise yourself and loved ones can be equally or even more terrifying.

…if ending your days on this planet hooked up to a ventilator, feeding tube, or oxygen mask isn’t something you’d choose, there is something you can do about it

There are a number of conditions that can affect your brain and body, including dementia, degenerative diseases, or those that affect the central nervous system, such as motor neurone disease. People with terminal illnesses like cancer can also end up having their lives prolonged way past the point anybody would wish.

There are also traumas, such as a catastrophic brain injury, car accident and so on. You get the picture. Any or all of these could leave you in a state where life is never going to improve, but you’re kept alive because that’s the law.

But if ending your days on this planet hooked up to a ventilator, feeding tube, or oxygen mask isn’t something you’d choose, there is something you can do about it.

Read more: Swedish death cleaning – get your affairs in order before you die

Have you heard of a Living Will?

Many people are unaware of Living Wills. In fact, according to a  2020 report, only 13% of UK adults have a written Living Will.

It’s also a good idea to discuss your options with healthcare professionals

A Living Will, also known as an ‘advanced decision’, is a form that allows you to refuse medical treatment if you do not wish to have it in the future.

It is legally binding in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, and allows you to outline your treatment choices to your family, carers, and health professionals if you don’t have the mental capacity or are unable to communicate your wishes yourself. You plan this in advance, when you’re still fit and able. And it’s logged, ready to be activated when you can no longer advocate for yourself.

This means today you could protect the future you from having to endure the indignity of being helpless whilst you genuinely just wait to die.

It might sound brutal, but people may opt for a Living Will for many reasons, including:

– Not wanting their life artificially prolonged
– Want to make it easier for their family
– Wanting to be prepared and in control of their own choice
– Been diagnosed with a serious illness

How does this all work?

Whilst there are several ways to set something like this in motion (ask your solicitor), Compassion in Dying is the UK’s most recommended and trustworthy Living Will service provider.

Their main goal is to improve the dying experience in the UK by allowing people to take charge of how they want to end their lives.

To be clear; this is NOT the same as euthanasia. The refusal of treatment is not the same as asking someone to help you end your life.

Euthanasia and assisted suicide are the acts of deliberately ending a person’s life to relieve their suffering. They are illegal under British law. However, creating a Living Will allows you to make your own choices ahead of time, and is perfectly legal.

How to set it up

With a step-by-step guide, Compassion in Dying has helpfully made it easy. You must be over the age of eighteen and have the mental capacity to make a Living Will.

Their service includes a card, which you carry with you, a bit like the old organ donor cards

What should I think about?

Consider the circumstances where you’d want to be able to opt out of living if you could. Getting diagnosed with a terminal illness, for example, being catastrophically injured and left helpless or catatonic. But think also about the lives of those who care about you. It’s a journey that you and the loved ones surrounding you will face together, so it’s important to discuss this with them too.

It’s also a good idea to discuss your options with healthcare professionals. Explore the risks and benefits of different treatments that are available in the future, and consider what refusing treatments can mean.

In the end, your decision is yours and should be respected. If you have the mental capacity to think about how you want to be treated or not, then you should have the right to do so.

“What matters most is ensuring my family don’t have to make hard decisions about me and my health.”
Compassion in Dying

Elena Harris

Elena is one of Silver’s interns. She has a love for illustrating, reading, and all things media-related. She is a self-proclaimed coffee connoisseur who spends her free time in coffee shops sketching and journalling.

The post Dying with dignity: choosing your own exit strategy appeared first on Silver Magazine.