Dying with dignity on your own terms has historically usually meant a trip to Switzerland. But there is an alternative for those who want some control over their ending. Meet the ‘Living Will’.

To some, death can be a scary concept. However, for many people, the thought of being kept alive in a state where you are unable to move, communicate, and/or recognise yourself and loved ones can be equally or even more terrifying.

…if ending your days on this planet hooked up to a ventilator, feeding tube, or oxygen mask isn’t something you’d choose, there is something you can do about it

There are a number of conditions that can affect your brain and body, including dementia, degenerative diseases, or those that affect the central nervous system, such as motor neurone disease. People with terminal illnesses like cancer can also end up having their lives prolonged way past the point anybody would wish.

There are also traumas, such as a catastrophic brain injury, car accident and so on. You get the picture. Any or all of these could leave you in a state where life is never going to improve, but you’re kept alive because that’s the law.

But if ending your days on this planet hooked up to a ventilator, feeding tube, or oxygen mask isn’t something you’d choose, there is something you can do about it.

Read more: Swedish death cleaning – get your affairs in order before you die

Have you heard of a Living Will?

Many people are unaware of Living Wills. In fact, according to a  2020 report, only 13% of UK adults have a written Living Will.

It’s also a good idea to discuss your options with healthcare professionals

A Living Will, also known as an ‘advanced decision’, is a form that allows you to refuse medical treatment if you do not wish to have it in the future.

It is legally binding in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, and allows you to outline your treatment choices to your family, carers, and health professionals if you don’t have the mental capacity or are unable to communicate your wishes yourself. You plan this in advance, when you’re still fit and able. And it’s logged, ready to be activated when you can no longer advocate for yourself.

This means today you could protect the future you from having to endure the indignity of being helpless whilst you genuinely just wait to die.

It might sound brutal, but people may opt for a Living Will for many reasons, including:

– Not wanting their life artificially prolonged
– Want to make it easier for their family
– Wanting to be prepared and in control of their own choice
– Been diagnosed with a serious illness

How does this all work?

Whilst there are several ways to set something like this in motion (ask your solicitor), Compassion in Dying is the UK’s most recommended and trustworthy Living Will service provider.

Their main goal is to improve the dying experience in the UK by allowing people to take charge of how they want to end their lives.

To be clear; this is NOT the same as euthanasia. The refusal of treatment is not the same as asking someone to help you end your life.

Euthanasia and assisted suicide are the acts of deliberately ending a person’s life to relieve their suffering. They are illegal under British law. However, creating a Living Will allows you to make your own choices ahead of time, and is perfectly legal.

How to set it up

With a step-by-step guide, Compassion in Dying has helpfully made it easy. You must be over the age of eighteen and have the mental capacity to make a Living Will.

Their service includes a card, which you carry with you, a bit like the old organ donor cards

What should I think about?

Consider the circumstances where you’d want to be able to opt out of living if you could. Getting diagnosed with a terminal illness, for example, being catastrophically injured and left helpless or catatonic. But think also about the lives of those who care about you. It’s a journey that you and the loved ones surrounding you will face together, so it’s important to discuss this with them too.

It’s also a good idea to discuss your options with healthcare professionals. Explore the risks and benefits of different treatments that are available in the future, and consider what refusing treatments can mean.

In the end, your decision is yours and should be respected. If you have the mental capacity to think about how you want to be treated or not, then you should have the right to do so.

“What matters most is ensuring my family don’t have to make hard decisions about me and my health.”
Compassion in Dying

Elena Harris

Elena is one of Silver’s interns. She has a love for illustrating, reading, and all things media-related. She is a self-proclaimed coffee connoisseur who spends her free time in coffee shops sketching and journalling.

The post Dying with dignity: choosing your own exit strategy appeared first on Silver Magazine.

As we get older, we get increasing glimpses into our own mortality. My first (very niche) glimpse was when my parents had to get their cat put down. They then told me that they weren’t going to get another cat in case it outlived them. Now, I’ve been appointed an executor for both my parents’ wills. I’m 47 years old, but it still feels like a very grown-up responsibility.

In the interests of calming myself down and helping others who are full of questions, many of which seem very morbid, I’ve had a chat with Nina Sperring, Head of Wills, Ttrusts and Estates at Weightmans, a Liverpool-based law firm.

Who can be an executor?

Before anyone gets any avaricious designs on their parents’ estate – or estates, if they are not together – Nina is quick to point out that you can’t impose yourself as an executor of someone else’s will.

“Your parents need to personally appoint the executors in their will by stating the name of the person they choose,” she explains. “It is possible to appoint up to four executors, or it’s possible to appoint a professional executor, such as a solicitor or accountant.”

It’s important to get the basics right so the will is valid. Nina said executors should be over 18 years of age and of sound mind.

Read more: Talking to your family about making a will

“Some people do appoint children who are under 18, on the basis that they will be 18 when the time comes, but this is obviously risky, as at least one of the executors will need to be aged 18 or over to make an application for probate, should this be required to administer the estate,” she cautions.

(Image: Models of Pexels)

Probate, in case you’re unsure, is the legal process of proving a will is valid and giving the executors the legal authority to distribute the estate. This is where it is handy to have the support of someone with legal qualifications. To apply for probate, the Probate Registry needs a copy of the will, the death certificate, and an inventory of the assets.

Having some professional help may also ease the emotional burden

The Probate Registry reviews the documents to make sure it’s a valid will and the executors are qualified to administer the estate. Unsurprisingly, this process isn’t free. The cost depends on the value of the estate – around £200 for estates worth less than £50,000 and around £1,000 for estates worth more than £50,000.

“There are situations where the executors may wish to consult a legal advisor, for example if probate is required to administer the will and the executors are young or inexperienced,” says Nina. “Having some professional help may also ease the emotional burden for them.”

What does the admin process look like?

Nina says the first step is for the executors to check if probate is required to administer the estate: “It can be complex and time consuming at a distressing time.”

Once the certificate is issued by the probate court, this allows the executors to sell property, collect in cash and other assets, and pay the debts, Nina explains.

“As part of the probate process, the executor or executors will need to estimate the value of the person’s estate and find out if the estate has inheritance tax to pay,” Nina continues. “This tax is paid once the estate has been valued, and it is best to pay it within six months to avoid any interest becoming payable.”

(Image: Pexels)

What if there’s a dispute?

The sad reality is that sometimes families fall out. Or people behave in unexpected ways that can manifest themselves in wills. For example, you might be made executor of a parental will, you receive your copy for safekeeping and there’s something in there that you’re not happy about. It could be anything from someone being cut out, to a parent leaving thousands to a pigeon racing club. However, there isn’t much you can do about this during what Mike and the Mechanics called the living years.

…it is important that open, honest conversations should take place

“If you have been named as an executor and your parents are still alive, you could try talking to them about this. Ultimately, however, in England and Wales, where we have testamentary freedom, people have the right to leave their estate to whoever they choose,” advises Nina.

If your parents choose to exclude a child, even if they have no brothers or sisters, that is their right. But there is some scope for some family members and dependants to challenge the will after death under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975. This includes cases where someone has maintenance needs or they feel inadequate provision has been made for them.

“To avoid this happening, it is important that open, honest conversations should take place. This avoids potential disputes and unhappiness. And it is advisable to seek the guidance of a professional advisor,” says Nina. “If a child is financially dependent on their parents, they may be able to challenge the will but if they are self-sufficient, the ability to challenge is limited.”

Georgia Lewis

In a career that has spanned Australia, the Middle East and the UK, Georgia has written about all sorts of things, including sex, cars, food, oil and gas, insurance, fashion, travel, workplace safety, health, religious affairs, glass and glazing… When she’s not writing words for fun and profit, she can usually be found with a glass of something French and red in her hand.

The post Help! I’m the executor for my parents’ wills appeared first on Silver Magazine.