Celebrate, share the news, and soak up the joy before moving on to the logistics. Once the initial excitement settles, it’s time to shape your vision for the big day. Even with careful planning, unexpected hiccups can arise. But rather than stressing over unlikely disasters, focus on avoiding common missteps. Here are some of the biggest wedding mistakes to sidestep for a smooth and stylish celebration.

Not putting yourself first

Planning a wedding comes with a long list of decisions, and it’s easy to get caught up in pleasing everyone else. But remember, this is your day. Whether you’re planning an intimate gathering or a grand affair, make choices that reflect your style and values.

If you’re handling much of the planning yourself, investing in a well-structured wedding planner can be a lifesaver. Books like The Knot Ultimate Wedding Planner, How to Be Married by Jo Piazza, and Martha Stewart Weddings offer great inspiration and practical advice. Digital tools are useful, but there’s something reassuring about having everything in one well-organised book.

Overspending on the wedding dress

Even today the wedding dress is still a huge focus for your wedding. A wedding outfit should make you feel confident and elegant, but it doesn’t have to break the bank. While it’s tempting to splurge on something breathtaking, it’s worth keeping in mind that your dress (or suit) is just one part of the day. A good rule of thumb is to allocate no more than 5% of your wedding budget to your attire, including alterations.

Think about versatility and longevity. Could you wear the outfit again, perhaps restyled for a different occasion? If you do want something truly special, consider vintage pieces, bespoke tailoring, or even a beautifully crafted two-piece that could become a treasured part of your wardrobe long after the big day.

Assuming traditions still apply

Once upon a time, it was assumed that the bride’s family would foot the bill, but these days, financial arrangements vary widely. Many couples contribute significantly, with parents often splitting costs or offering support where they can. The key is to have open and honest conversations early on.

Rather than making assumptions, approach the topic sensitively and establish a clear plan. Knowing who is contributing what will prevent any misunderstandings and ensure that no one is left feeling awkward. Or stretched beyond their means.

Read more – Imagine not being invited to the wedding but asked to give a gift anyway!

Including registry details on invitations

Another wedding mistake. It might seem practical to include wedding gift details with your invitations, but etiquette suggests otherwise. Word of mouth is a much more refined approach—close family and members of the wedding party can discreetly share registry information when asked.

Alternatively, many couples now opt for a wedding website where guests can find all the details, from gift preferences to accommodation suggestions. Just be mindful about sharing it on social media—if you haven’t invited everyone who follows you, it can lead to unintended awkwardness.

Being too prescriptive with the dress code

A little guidance on attire is helpful, but an exhaustive list of rules can come across as overly rigid. Instead of dictating what guests must wear, provide gentle suggestions that set the tone for the event. If your wedding is black tie, cocktail, or garden-party chic, a simple note on the invitation will do.

When it comes to your bridal party, flexibility is key. Rather than insisting bridesmaids wear identical outfits, consider allowing them to choose styles that flatter them within a cohesive colour palette. The result? A far more comfortable and confident wedding party—and more natural, stylish photographs.

As for the mother of the bride, tradition suggests her outfit should complement (rather than match) the bridal party’s theme. A sophisticated dress, an elegant, tailored suit, or even a statement coat can all be wonderful options. However, certain colours such as white, ivory, or champagne are best avoided to ensure all eyes stay on the bride.

Not having a weather contingency plan

Even if your wedding is planned for the height of summer, never underestimate the unpredictability of the British weather. Sudden showers, unexpected winds, or an unseasonal chill can all impact the day.

Regardless of the forecast, always have a backup plan. If you’re hosting an outdoor event, check that your venue has covered options, and consider practical yet stylish solutions like elegant wraps for guests or a well-placed stash of umbrellas. A little forward planning can mean the difference between a minor inconvenience and a major disruption.

Avoid these wedding mistakes

Planning a wedding inevitably comes with its challenges, but the key is to stay focused on what really matters—celebrating your love and sharing the day with those closest to you.

There will always be unexpected moments, but worrying too much can take away from the joy of the process. Be prepared, be flexible, and most importantly, enjoy every second of your special day.

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Making sure you you keep marking important dates is a sure-fire way to keep romance alive. Particularly if you feel the romance might not be quite so strong these days. If you’re thinking of planning something unforgettable for your romantic date, and how to celebrate your anniversary, here are a few different thoughts. Show your partner appreciation and celebrate your relationship together.

Anniversaries (in all their forms) are an important part of life. These special days remind us of important past events, be it personal or cultural milestones.

Especially important are the anniversaries with your partner, like your wedding anniversary, the date you first met, or even another special day that you both hold close to your heart.

Signify the importance of your anniversary

Work, chores, the daily grind – sometimes life just gets in the way of spending time together with your partner. Celebrating an anniversary can help as a reminder to you (both) that you’re in it together, and that love and romance are still part of the deal. You’re not just chugging along.

It’s a joyful way for you to take a step out of the norm and remember the relationship, and celebrating can help your partner feel cared for. Just setting aside time to celebrate your relationship on one specific day can mean the world.

Choose the perfect gift

OK so giving gifts can be a minefield if you’re not both on the same page. Giving your partner a gift on your anniversary is an easy way to show just how much you care for them. However, it’s important to also check with your partner about if you both want to do gift giving this year.

For some people, gift-giving can be complicated, or harder for them to do, so make sure to check beforehand. Make it really clear: are you giving gifts or not?!

If you do want to exchange anniversary gifts, there are a few ways to sift through the minefield that’s choosing an anniversary present. There are already special gift traditions that exist, for example, it’s traditional to celebrate a 25th wedding anniversary with silver, so a diamond ring can be a great gift if you’re hitting a quarter of a decade with your partner.

It doesn’t have to be a big gesture, just make sure you’ve both got similar expectations. Even flowers can be a great present. For those celebrating their first wedding anniversary, carnations have typically symbolised lasting vows and joy for the upcoming years. And they last for ages! Perhaps that’s why they’re associated with longevity like this.

Create new memories – and revisit old ones!

It might be making new memories or reliving old ones, but your anniversary is the perfect time to focus on the memories of your relationship. Visit the place you had your first date or do something you’ve never done before.

Why not try something a bit different? A cocktail tasting evening, or a trip to a theme park to ride the rollercoasters. Or you could go to a comedy night, or even have a little getaway, rekindle the romance.

And your anniversary doesn’t have to make your bank account cry in fear. There are still plenty of ways to create lasting memories on a budget. Why not go out for coffee, or breakfast instead of dinner? Or equally, cook your partner breakfast in bed!

So, if you’re now wondering just how to celebrate your anniversary with a special someone, hopefully the above suggestions will give you some food for thought!

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‘Overlap’. It’s not an attractive word, with intimations of too many teeth spoiling a smile or shoddily-lain linoleum. It’s certainly not a word that one would associate with such a fragrant presence as that of Felicity Kendal, the nation’s superannuated sweetheart.

Yet in an interview with the Sunday Times earlier this year, the demure thespian – 72 and still sexy – spoke thus of her long and interesting romantic record: ‘I didn’t have affairs – I just went from one to the next, with a bit of overlapping.’

Maybe I’m a touch touchy about this because my laughably-named ‘private life’ has been one long Overlap. I’ve probably slept with far fewer people than most women of 60 (especially considering I’ve spent forty-three years in the world of journalism, a milieu so sexually generous before the daytime drinking ban that we made your average Aerosmith tour look like a Women’s Institute AGM), but that’s because I got married as a teenager to the first man I had sex with.

I’ve hardly been some sort of bed-hopping fly-by-night. But nevertheless I have persistently Overlapped

My first marriage lasted five years, my second ten and I’ve been with my third husband for almost a quarter of a century so I’ve hardly been some sort of bed-hopping fly-by-night. But nevertheless I have persistently Overlapped my suitors, at one point uttering the unspeakably vulgar line ‘Why would anyone get out of the bath until they’ve turned the heating on?’

Having left my first husband for my second when I was 24, then my second husband for a girl when I was 35, then that girl for her own younger brother six months later – Overlapping all the way – I feel I’ve certainly packed in enough romantic permutations to last me a lifetime.

The first Overlap was a cloak-and-dagger affair during which I took the train to London from my suburban bungalow once a week to my lover’s flat in Chelsea. My husband, a traditional man, would not have appreciated this one bit and so I fled before we were detected.

My second husband was worldly enough to *allow* me to have a love affair with a girl but not worldly enough to understand that love laughs at allowances

My second husband was worldly enough to *allow* me to have a love affair with a girl but not worldly enough to understand that love laughs at allowances. My love affair with a girl imploded under the pressure of too much oestrogen and the unsettling presence of her younger brother – now my third husband – who made me realise quite quickly that just because one enjoys a holiday on Lesbos, one doesn’t necessarily want to move there for life.

It’s a widespread phenomenon; at the other end of the celebrity spectrum from the semi-sainted Kendall we have Katie Price, who has stated that when she feels a relationship is coming to an end she ‘always has a new man on the back burner’. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve read unsolicited advice from insolent agony aunts advising her to ‘take time for yourself’ because ‘jumping straight into a new relationship is never the answer.’

But you just can’t win with these professional sticky-beaks; should a famous female go for ‘too long’ without male companionship and she’ll find herself splashed over the celebrity magazines as ‘a recluse’ who has ‘given up on men’. Personally, I believe that those who advise us to leave a gap between courses are probably just *hangry*, and want us all to suffer with them. Like those friends who declare they aren’t eating carbs and then stare resentfully at your cheesy chips till they’re gone.

Overlapping has always been common among women with the wherewithal not to need society’s approval; look at Liz Taylor, who Overlapped so much she ended up lapping herself and reuniting with Richard Burton, or indeed Kendal herself, whose current ‘boyfriend’ is the husband she left for Tom Stoppard more than two decades ago.

I asked around amongst my friends for examples of Overlapping. L remembers: ‘When I was young, I Overlapped with three brothers – one of them knew about all of them, another knew about one, the other knew about nothing. In fact, I Overlapped to the extent that I recall one going out of the basement flat door while another was walking up the stoop to the main front door.’

Why do Overlappers irk people? It can’t be sexual morality, as we often have less sex partners than other types, who may well fit in interludes of frantic promiscuity between real relationships. There may be a sort of overly-fastidious morality at play which sees Overlapping as a prolonged version of ‘double-parking’ – having sex with two people in the same day – which shamelessly contradicts the idea of woman as some sort of chaste vessel with only one careful owner.

It indicates that a woman can have her cake, eat it and then order a muffin too, which contradicts the boring old lie about men being polygamous and women monogamous – which only ever existed because for most of history women haven’t been able to pay their own way in life and depended upon the *protection* (a nice way of saying the ownership) of men.

But of course it’s not just women who Overlap. D says ‘I left my wife for another woman, had a change of heart and went back with her for one Overlapping night before deciding the initial decision was the right one and resuming the other Overlap – only to discover six weeks later that my by then ex-wife was pregnant with my eldest son.’

P confesses ‘I dated three Sarahs at once – mayhem! I’d come back from lunch and there would be a note on my desk – ‘Sarah phoned – please call her back.’’ J can literally go one better: ‘When I was at university four different girls I was Overlapping with asked me which train I was getting back from my hometown after Christmas. Only after telling the fourth did I realise it might be embarrassing – so I bravely caught an earlier one.’

Though I am endlessly delighted by my own company, I don’t care to have it imposed upon me, but rather to choose it when I please.

I don’t feel in the least regretful about my serial Overlapping, and I’m not sorry that I failed to do the agony-aunt-approved penance in the slough of solitude. Though I am endlessly delighted by my own company, I don’t care to have it imposed upon me, but rather to choose it when I please.

I love being in relationships and I’m good at it, being both amusing and affectionate. I love having a partner-in-crime and a not-quite-captive audience. I like having sex on tap; I’ve never been to a singles bar, not even when I was a hot young thing, and the idea of resorting to such a random raffle so late in life and being a swinging sexagenarian feels me with equal parts amusement and amazement.

Though seeming to be a particularly duplicitous brand of promiscuity, I believe that Overlapping can actually stem from an over-romantic desire to find the mythical One – what the Cathy & Claire problem pages of my girlhood used to call ‘frantically seeking happiness from bed to bed’. And if there is any reason to condemn it, this is the one I’d choose. Because one thing it’s never too soon to learn about relationships is that no matter how often you bolt or how far you run, you inevitably take yourself with you.

Forget finding The One who’s going to make everything perfect; as long as you’re dissatisfied with The One in the mirror, you’ll be dissatisfied with your primary romantic relationship. And no lover, Overlapping or not, can ever fix this.

Julie Burchill

Julie Burchill’s hobbies include luncheon, philanthropy and spite. She has published more than a dozen books, the latest of which is WELCOME TO THE WOKE TRIALS: HOW #IDENTITY KILLED PROGRESSIVE POLITICS, Academica Books, on Amazon in hardback and Kindle. She has lived in Brighton/Hove for more than a quarter of a century – and still feels like she’s on holiday.

The post When you’re the leaver, do you leap? Or do you like to ‘Overlap’? appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Silhouetted against the glow of the bedside lamp, Steve undresses quickly, his body still taut from twice weekly gym workouts. His skin is cold as he jumps under the duvet beside me. I move closer and he turns, enveloping me in a familiar cloud of Acqua di Parma. His fingers brush against my new La Perla lingerie, bought in readiness for tonight, his 54th birthday.

I can smell his breath on me now, tinged with Armagnac and an indulgent Montecristo No 4 cigar saved from last year’s holiday to Cuba. I smile in the gloom as he inches towards me, desperate to celebrate his birthday in the best way we know how. His lips are just above mine, and I close my eyes as his body shifts ever nearer.

“Night love,” he says, his arm reaching out to switch off the light. And just like that my husband of 23 years turns away and promptly falls asleep.

I don’t know why I’m surprised. After all, we haven’t slept together in almost a year.

“It won’t last,” my friends and close colleagues would laugh when I’d turn up at work with my shiny new wedding ring and raw snog rash

We weren’t always like this. Before we had children – twin boys now about to graduate from university and a 19-year-old girl – we made love almost every night. All night.

“It won’t last,” my friends and close colleagues would laugh when I’d turn up at work with my shiny new wedding ring and raw snog rash. But two years after our home counties wedding we still had sex every evening, and most mornings.

Trying for a baby never felt like a chore. It gave us a legitimate reason to have sex as often as possible and stay in bed most of the day at weekends. Even when I was pregnant I still wanted Steve all the time.

Sleepless nights after our babies were born didn’t damper our ardour. We always made time for each other at bedtime, and when the children were asleep. Which is why it’s so painful now.

Slow descent into sexlessness

I can’t even remember how this gradual slide into a sexless marriage happened. “I’m tired,” he began to say. I didn’t want to pressure him. He was a solicitor with a huge workload. And so slowly our lovemaking tapered off from every night to twice a week, then once, and, without me really noticing, a fortnight had gone by without us making love.

It hurt being rejected. I’d flinch when he turned his back

“Not now,” Steve would say when I tried to cuddle up to him. “I’ve got a lot on at work.” A fortnight became three weeks, then a month, then two. It hurt being rejected. I’d flinch when he turned his back, or his body refused to become aroused under my touch.

My friends would laugh and roll their eyes over girly lunches about being pestered every night by their husbands and I’d feel a physical ache knowing I wasn’t one of them. I kept my rejection a secret, too ashamed to admit I was no longer desired.

Of course, I suffered. Had he met someone else? Was I too fat? Too wrinkled and saggy now? He refused to talk about it. “I’m just exhausted, that’s all,” Steve would insist. “It’s not you.”

But how could it not be when all this time had passed and my once very enthusiastic lover is now my platonic friend?

I’m not alone

Sexless marriages – which are defined as making love 10 times or less or year (ironically, I would be happy with that!) – are quite common. Research from the sociology department at Georgia State University in the US shows that 15 per cent of married couples there have not had sex with their spouse within the past six to 12 months.

Closer to home, Relate reports that 23 per cent of Brits are unhappy with our sex lives. One in five say low libido or differing sex drives puts a strain on their relationship.

Therapy is the solution, researchers say, but Steve won’t even entertain the idea. “There’s nothing wrong,” he insists. And I don’t see how talking endlessly with a stranger about our non-existent love life will make Steve want to have sex with me.

Running out of ideas

Of course, I’ve tried everything to seem more attractive, including dressing up, trying to turn him on, and asking him about his fantasies. But he doesn’t have any – or none that have me in them.

We hold hands, seem like a normal husband and wife. But we don’t make love and I have no idea why

I’ve thought fleetingly about going elsewhere, but he’s the man I love. I only want to have sex with him. So, I’ve taken to pleasuring myself in the shower and have become emotionally desperate – clingy, if you will.

It’s silly because looking at us you would never know we’re not intimate. We hold hands, seem like a normal husband and wife. But we don’t make love and I have no idea why. “It’ll come back,” Steve tells me. His reassurances keep me at arm’s length. I don’t want to lose him. After all, we’re a family, and I do love him.

But somehow it doesn’t feel enough. His lack of libido – which there’s no medical or emotional reason for – is a rejection that stings. The constant rejection rubs away at my self-esteem until it’s raw.

I feel trapped under the responsibility of this sexless marriage but I don’t know how to fix it. And I can’t walk away. I keep hoping that as suddenly as our sex life disappeared it will come back.

I hope it won’t be too much longer before Steve wants me, as this waiting game is slowly destroying me and our marriage.

Common Reasons for a Sexless Marriage

• Mismatched or low sex drives
• Boredom
• Infidelity
• Stress
• Tiredness
• Depression or mental health issues
• Erectile dysfunction
• Medication side effects

How does your sex life measure up?

• 50 per cent of couples have sex once a month
• Just 37 per cent of women over the age of 65 had sex in the past year
• Only a third – 34 per cent – of couples are happy with their sex lives
• A staggering 90 per cent haven’t tried anything new in bed since their first anniversary
• 30 per cent of over-65s feel that watching porn without their partner is the same as cheating

*Joanne is a real person but we’ve hidden her identity as per her request.

Karen Pasquali Jones

The post I’m trapped in a sexless marriage and don’t know how to fix it appeared first on Silver Magazine.

I don’t think mine is a particularly unusual story, although I do also know that lots of people won’t feel the same way as me, and some of my friends would be tutting very loudly. Marriage – whether you’re religious or not – is at the very least a series of promises you make to the person you love. And whether it’s a matter of honour, or the beady eyes of the Lord ensuring you stick to the deal, breaking those promises is a breach of trust, a shattering of those bonds. So you might wonder why I cheat on my husband.

The promises we make to each other in our youth, when we are idealistic, unfettered… full of lust and with all our time ahead, not times behind us – well, perhaps those promises sometimes need revisiting. People sometimes renew their vows, don’t they? I wonder if the promises they make to each other the second time around are different. They ought to be, I think. Because the people we are at 25 are very different to the people we are at 55.

Then one day you find yourself looking out of the window and wondering well… is that it?

My story begins, realistically, in a place where I think a lot of us find ourselves. Been together for years, got through the kids, the working together. The adventures of home making and empire building. The overcoming of hard times, the celebration and joy of successes. The supporting each other through sickness and health. The deep love and connection – which incidentally is very much still there – but then one day you find yourself looking out of the window and wondering well… is that it?

I’m going to keep saying this because there will be people who doubt it. I love my husband.

I love him very, very much and I couldn’t imagine for a minute being without him. We are at the same time both entirely compatible but ultimately very different people, and it has been that similarity and those differences that has kept us interested in each other and excited to spend time together for such a long time.

But excitement is missing in one very fundamental area of our lives. And that’s the bedroom. Or the kitchen table. Or the dark alley down the side of the house. Or the sofa in front of a muted film…

As we’ve got older, getting involved in spanking and admonishment has felt, well, a bit Victoria Wood

Please, don’t start thinking wow, they should try pepping things up a bit, we can all get a bit bored, boring and bland in that department after years. You need to know we’ve tried a lot of stuff. We’ve always had a fairly robust interest in the play of power and pain, but honestly that takes some time and commitment to set up, and as we’ve got older, getting involved in spanking and admonishment has felt, well, a bit Victoria Wood.

We’ve had a go at role play

I look ridiculous dressed as a WPC, I can tell you that for nothing. We have tried fantasies and fun, food and fellatio (I nearly put fisting there for the sake of alliteration but we haven’t actually tried that. Neither of us are too keen). We’ve had a bash at lots of stuff. And all of these things have had varying levels of success. Some have been enormously sexy. Some have been hilarious. But honest to god, at the end of the day this is a man I have been with for decades and really, generating much enthusiasm – for either of us – is hard work. And I know he feels the same. In fact, of the two of us, he is the one far less worried about this. He just isn’t interested in sex.

So we don’t tend to bother. We are close, we cuddle. We hug and are physically affectionate. We prefer each other’s company to anyone else’s. I adore him, and still love things like the way his hair curls in different ways on either side of his head, or how soft his voice is. I long for him when he’s not there.

Read more: Help! I’m trapped in a sexless marriage

But as for sex?

On the one hand it’s easy just to not bother, but on the other, I really miss it. I miss the visceral excitement. I found that as the years passed and he just didn’t seem to care, didn’t seem to want to make the effort, it became more and more difficult for me to gee us up. I felt unattractive. I lost confidence. Actually, I started to wonder if we should even be together any more.

I had a sudden flash, like a bump on the head. I needed more. I needed to get out, find myself

He doesn’t know this – but I was a fag paper away from leaving him last year. I’d been having one of those days where I looked in the mirror and felt pretty smug about what I saw. I’m slim, I dress well. I have good hair and I’m funny – dammit I’m sexy, especially on a good day like this. And I was thinking it was a shame it was all going to waste. Call it a midlife crisis if you like, but I had a sudden flash, like a bump on the head. I needed more. I needed to get out, find myself.

So I went through all these hare-brained plans about leaving and what I would do. And I felt really gutted. And then really confused. I rang my friend.

“I want to feel sexy and exciting and get fucked and not just be at home all the time,” I gabbled. “What do I do? If I don’t do something I’m going to die like this, with my bits all full of cobwebs.”

My friend, in her infinite wisdom – and immediately game for a partner in crime (she is single) – said pragmatically that what I needed was a night out. Let my hair down, have a few drinks. So off we went – hair down and morals loose.

I met a man that night

A younger man – not by years, but young enough to be exciting and sexy. And we just did that absolutely textbook thing of flirting for a bit over martinis, and then booking a room upstairs. Literally! I felt like I was in an Erica Jong book! We had exciting, meaningless sex that was really very good indeed, and that was it.

For the first time in my entire life I understood the difference between love and sex

So here I am where I’m going to remind you how much I love my husband. And to tell you gasping and disapproving lot how once I’d done this I didn’t feel bad or guilty at all – I just felt relieved, like I’d scratched an itch. Maybe I should have felt bad – but for the first time in my entire life I understood the difference between love and sex. What I’d just had was sex – and it made my tail wag and made me jump for joy – but it wasn’t love. I didn’t care if I never saw this chap again (he was super keen, ironically). But more than anything, once I’d showered, and checked there was nothing for me to get busted over, I couldn’t wait to get home to my beloved husband.

Does that sound awful? I suppose it does. I would have rather stuck pins in my eyes than hurt him, and that was my primary consideration. Not about being busted – I wasn’t ashamed of what I’d done. But to break his heart? That would be something I would never, ever want to do.

He barely stirred when I got on home. I snuggled up behind him and slept like a log, curled around him.

And this was the start of a behaviour I would repeat. Not often, and not close to home, not on my doorstep. Not as an ongoing affair, ever; I made a promise to myself right at the start – no affairs of the heart, only sex. And I swear it’s the reason my husband and I are still together. He seems relieved that I’ve given up strapping on the tackle and trying to whip up excitement in the bedroom – and so every now and again I indulge myself elsewhere.

I joined a dating app

I’m very discreet, and if I’m honest I prefer to hook up with other men who are also married, as they don’t tend to want anything out of the arrangement except sex either. The meetings and choices don’t always go well. Sometimes I walk away empty-handed, as it were. But the occasional excitement and adventure means I don’t spend time at home feeling wistful and wondering if I should leave.

I have often wondered if my husband might be doing the same thing and how I would feel

I have often wondered if my husband might be doing the same thing and how I would feel if that were the case. The honest answer is that I don’t know – to either of those posers. I’d like to imagine I’d feel it was all fair and as long as we still loved each other and our marriage triumphed, then great. But I suspect I’d be jealous. I think I’d just rather not know.

Anyway – removing this lopsided desire and its incumbent pressure from our marriage is working fine for now. Long may it continue, as long as no one gets hurt.

[Name supplied]

Sam Harrington-Lowe

Sam is Silver’s founder and editor-in-chief. She’s largely responsible for organising all the things, but still finds time to do the odd bit of writing. Not enough though. Send help.

The post Why I cheat on my husband appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Fifty-plus weddings should always be fabulous, no matter what your age or how many times you’ve previously walked down the aisle; the best thing about weddings after 50 is that there are simply no rules to follow.

You’re not expected to walk down the aisle in a white wedding dress, and you’re less likely to use a church. Here’s how to host a stylish, glamorous wedding that will make your younger guests totally envious…

1. Do it your way
When we reach a certain age we know our own minds better, and it’s essential to choose the style and size of your wedding before planning anything else, so sit back, relax and discuss the options with your future spouse. Would you prefer an intimate ceremony with relatives and close friends? Or why not paint the town red and host a lavish ceremony, or do something really unusual? Think about the season you want to get married in. If your previous wedding(s) were in the summer, then maybe consider an autumn or winter wedding. This will really help narrow down the available venues/locations and give you some ideas for content. Style the event exactly as you want it and maybe go the extra mile and hire a wedding planner for a stress free process.

2. Yes you can and should wear a (white) wedding dress if you want to!
Although you may be less inclined to wear a princess-silhouette wedding dress down the aisle, there are plenty of other elegant options you can choose from that won’t compromise your style. My current favourites are mermaid and A-line silhouettes, but there’s no restriction – wear what the heck you want! This brings us to the second important question… for those of you who are hesitant to wear the colour white just because back in the day it used to resemble virginity, don’t be! News is, even first-time brides are experimenting with colour; this season’s bridal couture was filled with blush pink, and baby blue wedding dresses. Nothing is taboo and there are hundreds of shades to choose from, so pick a colour that compliments your skin tone. Even white.

TOP TIP: To keep up with the latest wedding day trends why not have two dresses? Some brides like to spice things up by changing into another outfit midway through the party. If they can, so can you. Be totally extra, and change your hairstyle, lipstick colour and even shoes – a new look for a new you.

3. Choose the ring you love
This piece of jewellery is one of the most important accessories you own, therefore do your research, discover what you like and dislike, try new styles and don’t be afraid to go off piste by choosing something completely different. As an older and maybe more traditional couple, you may feel obliged to follow the ‘matching wedding rings’ tradition; that’s all well and good, but if you like a style that your future spouse doesn’t, then throw out the rule book and spice things up a little by having a different style ring. At the end of the day this ring symbolises your eternal love for one another, so make sure it’s something you can live with forever!

4. Go big or go home with your bridal squad
Being the fabulous social butterfly that you are, when you reach your 50s and 60s you probably know more people than you will at any other time in your life. There’s no limit to how many members your bridal party should have. Young brides these days are referring to their bridal party as ‘Team Bride’, and ‘Bride Tribe’. Trust me when I say these squads are not small. It’s always best to include rather than exclude, so take this opportunity to blend both families together. If you have daughters, stepdaughters, daughters-in-law, grandkids (and even the boys!), get them involved.

5. Pre-wedding parties
This may not be your first hen/stag do, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have another one, and make it better than the one before. Whether you choose to have a joint or separate party, the key rule is to have fun. Maybe dressing up is a step too far but you could choose a colour theme, go wild on decorations, play games, or if you’re feeling adventurous host your event abroad. A mini holiday with the Bride Tribe before the wedding is such a great idea.

6. Destination Weddings
Up to 50% of second marriages occur abroad. I believe this is mostly because first-time couples don’t get to have the wedding they entirely want, due to other factors (like interfering parents), and that’s one of the things that makes second-timers (or third, or fourth!) all the more exciting. If you have your heart set on a destination wedding, give your guests plenty of notice by sending the invitations ahead of time. Get organised, and arrange with a travel agent for discounted flights and possibly hotel rooms – if you’re booking a large group it’s always worth a haggle. Host an extended wedding weekend full with activities for your guests after the wedding too, so that they stay entertained while you lovebirds enjoy your honeymoon.

TOP TIP: if some of your guests can’t get there and miss out on the festivities, consider hosting a post-wedding party back home to celebrate with them. Hey, it’s a chance for another party!

7. Case of the Ex
If you have been married before, and you have established a peaceful relationship with your past, then you are probably wondering whether or not you should invite them to the celebrations? This can get tricky especially if you have kids. If your new spouse is ok with your ex still being part of your life then why not? It depends on your situation but new starts are fresh beginnings. If their presence will ruin your day or upset your new spouse though, then don’t invite them just for the sake of it. The trick here is to talk about it properly before sending any invites.

8. Leave the past in the past
If you’ve been married before, do everything differently this time round. From the style of your hair to the colour of your flowers, the size of your orchestra or the location of your party; this is a new start for you and your spouse, so definitely time to do things differently. When writing your vows try to avoid indirect references to your previous marriage/relationships such as, “You taught me to trust again”. Consider statements more along the lines of, “This is why our future will be amazing” or “This is why I love you”.

9. Skip the standard registry
Unlike younger couples you are more likely to have a well-equipped household. You’re unlikely to need a pressure cooker or a cruet set. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t register for gifts, and it’s often a way for guests to contribute to something you really want; maybe create an online registry for a honeymoon fund. That way guests can contribute towards your dream honeymoon leaving you with a little extra cash to splash out on having the best wedding party in history.

Lara Barakat is a wedding and beauty blogger and planner. She can be found at A Touch of White. “Wedding planning has always been a passion of mine, simply because there are endless possibilities to what you can achieve with a little inspiration & creativity.”

A Touch of White

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