From pioneers to rising stars, women in motorsport have always defied expectations, proving their skill, speed, and determination. Once burdened by outdated stereotypes, women now compete on track, lead race strategies, and shape the sport in leadership roles – a significant step forward for equality in motorsport.

This, we can all agree, is a fantastic step in the right direction, but despite undeniable strides toward equality, motorsport remains male-dominated. As of 2022, women made up just 2% of FIA-licensed racing drivers – a sobering statistic that reminds us of the barriers that still exist.

To mark International Women’s Day, Angela Bahn, Marketing Manager of private plate provider Regtransfers, takes a closer look at the progress – and roadblocks – facing women in motorsport today.

A century of progress

In the early 1900s, Camille du Gast became one of the first female racing drivers, competing in the 1903 Paris-Madrid race – an event so dangerous it was halted before completion. At a time when women were expected to stay on the sidelines, she proved we had a place on the starting grid. Decades later, Maria Teresa de Filippis shattered another barrier, becoming the first woman to race in Formula 1 in 1958. Her presence on the grid proved that women had the skill to compete at the highest level of motorsport – a message that still resonates today.

While no woman has raced in F1 since the 1970s, female drivers are making strides in key feeder series. Sophia Flörsch has competed in FIA Formula 3 and endurance racing, while Marta García became the first F1 Academy champion, securing a seat in the Formula Regional European Championship. Their success signals movement toward greater female representation in elite racing.

These are steps in the right direction, but breaking into Formula 1 remains a major challenge for women. The issue has never been one of talent, but of financial barriers, limited sponsorship, and the lack of structured development pathways that male drivers have relied on for decades.

High speeds, high costs

The cost of advancing through junior single-seater racing categories is, for lack of a better word, astounding.

FIA Formula 2 – the step before Formula 1 – can require budgets of up to €2 million per season. FIA Formula 3, a level below, typically costs around €1.2 million, while FIA Formula 4, an entry-level series, ranges from €120,000 to €300,000 per season. These expenses (often covered through personal sponsorships or family wealth) raise serious concerns about accessibility, making it difficult for talented drivers without substantial financial backing to advance through the ranks.

F1 Academy eases financial barriers by covering €150,000 of each driver’s budget, with teams covering the rest. This makes it a more accessible route for female racers, but it’s still not an easy feat.

Even with initiatives like this, securing sponsorship is still an uphill battle. Many investors hesitate, citing concerns over commercial viability, lower media exposure, and a lack of historical precedent for female success at the highest levels. This creates a cycle where fewer women reach top-tier racing, reinforcing the belief that female drivers aren’t commercially viable. In reality, we simply haven’t been given the same opportunities.

Unless motorsport shifts toward a more equitable sponsorship model, many talented female drivers will continue to be locked out of elite racing. Fortunately, increased investment from brands like Tata Communications, PUMA, and DHL in female-focused motorsport initiatives shows that corporate backing can be a game-changer. Expanding these investments, along with stronger grassroots funding, could be key to breaking the cycle and ensuring that talent – not financial privilege – determines success on the track.

Read more: Get your car ready for a summer roadtrip

Power players

Of course, when we talk about women in motorsport, we’re not just referring to competitors. Many more of us are shaping the industry from the inside, through roles in leadership, engineering, and strategy.

Women like Susie Wolff, Claire Williams, and Monisha Kaltenborn lead teams and shape motorsport strategy, proving leadership is not limited by gender. Wolff has been instrumental in fostering female talent, while Williams led one of F1’s most historic teams, making key decisions in one of the sport’s most high-pressure roles. Kaltenborn became Formula 1’s first female team principal when she led the Sauber F1 Team from 2012 to 2017.

Meanwhile, Leena Gade, the first female race engineer to win the 24 Hours of Le Mans, redefined what’s possible in endurance racing, proving that engineering expertise is not limited by gender.

More recently, women like Hannah Schmitz, Red Bull Racing’s Principal Strategy Engineer, and Laura Wontrop Klauser, GM Racing’s Sports Car Program Manager, have played their part in strategy and innovation. Schmitz has been at the heart of Red Bull’s winning race calls, while Klauser has helped shape the future of endurance racing.

Together, the success of these women reinforces the growing influence we have in motorsport beyond the driver’s seat.

Looking ahead

What’s next for women in racing?

The F1 Academy is gaining momentum, with all 10 Formula 1 teams now backing drivers and the series officially joining the F1 calendar. This shift is giving young female racers better exposure, funding, and a clearer pathway to the top.

Beyond this, Extreme E’s mixed-gender format has not only put female racers in the spotlight but also provided them with valuable experience alongside elite male drivers. Competitors like Cristina Gutiérrez and Mikaela Åhlin-Kottulinsky have used the series as a springboard to other high-level racing disciplines, proving that equal representation leads to real career progression.

At the same time, there’s a growing effort to get more women into the F1 feeder series. Without representation in FIA Formula 2 and Formula 3 – the key stepping stones to F1 – true integration remains out of reach.

But let’s be honest – there’s still a long way to go. Money remains one of the biggest barriers. Sponsorship and financial backing overwhelmingly favour male drivers, leaving many talented women without the resources to progress. Without major sponsors actively investing in female talent, even the most skilled drivers struggle to reach the top.

Beyond financial barriers, motorsport’s culture needs to evolve. Getting more women on the grid starts with real investment in talent from the ground up – supporting young female racers from grassroots karting to the F1 feeder series. This is promising, but real change requires more than just opportunity; the sport must ensure that women have the funding, mentorship, and development pathways we need to succeed at the highest levels.

Final thoughts

From the world-changing women who first took to the track to the engineers and strategists shaping the future of racing, we continue to drive motorsport forward. But real equality in motorsport won’t come from recognition alone – it requires tangible investment, structural reform, and unwavering commitment from teams, sponsors, and governing bodies.

Real change happens when success is defined by talent, not gender. Watching female racers, advocating for better investment, and challenging outdated norms are essential steps toward a more equal future for motorsport. Progress won’t happen on its own – it depends on all of us to push for it.

silvermagazine

If you’d like to receive a regular mini-magazine direct to your inbox with a selection of editorial features to read at your leisure, please sign up for our newsletter. We also run the odd competition and offer and whatnot, and newsletter members get the heads-up first.

The post The race for equality in motorsport appeared first on Silver Magazine.

If you thought we’d come a long way since burning bras, think again. A new survey commissioned by the Women’s Institute (WI) reveals that depressingly, nearly two-thirds of adults (64%) in the UK believe misogyny is a significant issue, with almost a third considering it a really serious problem.

Conducted by Opinium ahead of International Women’s Day 2025, the poll underscores the everyday challenges women face, highlighting a troubling reality that women, particularly younger ones, experience misogyny in deeply personal and practical ways.

The personal impact on women’s lives

The survey found that women aged 18-34 are particularly affected by misogyny, sadly often adjusting their daily behaviour to enhance their sense of safety. In the past year:

• 41% of young women avoided eye contact or limited interactions with strangers.
• 37% shared their live location with friends or family while travelling alone.
• 42% pretended to be on a phone call when walking by themselves.
• 27% clutched a bunch of keys between their fingers as a makeshift weapon.

By contrast, men in the same age group reported far lower rates of similar behaviours: only 14% used a phone as a prop, 18% shared their location, and just 10% carried keys in their fist.

Melissa Green, CEO of the WI, emphasized the need for urgent action. “Our polling makes for depressing reading at a time when women and girls’ rights are being challenged on every front.

“For women to feel that the UK is a far less safe place for them is unacceptable and deeply concerning – and needs to be tackled through social prevention, as well as political deterrence, and in allyship with men.”

Read more: Late diagnoses of ADHD and autism in women – the hidden cost

A worsening trend?

The WI’s findings align with last year’s Girls’ Attitudes report from Girl Guiding, which revealed that sexism (used interchangeably with misogyny in their report) has risen in the last ten years. In that survey:

• 47% of 11-21-year-olds feel less safe because of sexism and misogyny, a significant rise from 17% 10 years ago.
• 69% believed they were expected to act differently because of their gender.

While it is difficult to compare directly across years, these statistics suggest that concerns over misogyny are not improving but may be intensifying. If more women are adapting their behaviour out of fear and reporting a decline in their sense of safety, the issue requires urgent social and legislative attention.

Challenging misogyny: steps forward

It’s not all bad news. Despite the alarming figures, the survey also found that adults are taking action to challenge misogyny in their daily interactions:

• 37% of adults have had conversations about gender equality with men.
• 17% have walked a female friend to her car or home to ensure her safety.
• 16% have refused to participate in misogynistic conversations.
• 13% have called out sexist language in conversations.
• 8% have intervened when witnessing a woman being harassed.

Encouragingly, the proportion of men and women challenging misogyny is relatively balanced (28% of men vs. 31% of women), suggesting a growing awareness across genders. However, there is still much work to be done.

How to combat misogyny

Tackling misogyny requires collective effort from individuals, communities, and policymakers. Here are some ways everyone can help challenge and reduce its impact:

• Call out sexist behaviour. If you hear misogynistic jokes or comments, challenge them.
• Listen to women’s experiences. Understanding their concerns fosters empathy and action.
• Be an active witness. Intervene safely when witnessing harassment.
• Support gender equality initiatives. Advocate for policies and practices that promote fairness.
• Educate yourself and others. Learn about misogyny’s impact and encourage discussions in your circles.
• Speak up when safe to do so. Challenge misogynistic behaviour when possible.
• Support other women. Offer solidarity and assistance to those experiencing misogyny.
• Educate young people. Encourage conversations about gender equality from an early age.
• Engage in activism. Support or join movements advocating for women’s rights.
• Encourage male allies. Help men understand how they can contribute to positive change.

The WI’s report paints a concerning picture of how misogyny continues to shape the everyday experiences of women in Britain. However, the growing willingness to challenge it signals hope for a future where gender equality becomes the norm rather than the exception.

silvermagazine

If you’d like to receive a regular mini-magazine direct to your inbox with a selection of editorial features to read at your leisure, please sign up for our newsletter. We also run the odd competition and offer and whatnot, and newsletter members get the heads-up first.

The post Misogyny in UK today: a growing concern, says WI survey appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Women’s sports have turned what was once a narrow, lonely corner into a vibrant, pulsing hub of activity. Women are taking sports by storm – theirs is a name in bold print, heard loud and clear as they flood stadiums, devour live streams, and completely rewire the sports media conversation.

Women’s sports fire up our passions, yet their impact stretches way beyond the playing field – it’s about self-discovery, perseverance, and solidarity. Women athletes need more than applause – they need us to stand up for their potential, ignite their self-belief, and shatter the ceilings that have held them back for too long.

Football – uniting fans globally

Few sports can rally a crowd like football, and for women’s leagues, that excitement has grown exponentially. Women’s ‘soccer’ leagues like the FA Cup, and Championship League, as well as international events such as the Women’s World Cup showcase extraordinary talent and teamwork. But it’s not just the UK where this is huge.

Teams like the United States Women’s National Team (USWNT), or France’s Les Bleues are not only winning trophies but also setting records. But if you want to watch the games, don’t be put off by regional restrictions if you encounter them. Here are tips for watching NWSL from any country that works equally well for everyone. This is your chance to show support for the most popular women’s sport all over the world.

The 2019 Women’s World Cup Final was watched by over 1.12 billion viewers globally, demonstrating that the passion for women’s soccer is universal. Fans are increasingly captivated by star players like Alex Morgan, Ada Hegerberg, and Sam Kerr, who bring finesse and intensity to the field. Supporting women’s soccer is supporting a global movement of unity and empowerment.

Tennis: a legacy of women’s success

Legends Serena Williams, Billie Jean King, and Martina Navratilova have done more than just paved the way for women’s tennis – they’ve lit a fire that continues to ignite passion in millions of fans worldwide. Imagine watching the best female tennis players clash on the court, and you’re midway into the thrill ride that is Wimbledon, the US Open, or the French Open – these esteemed tournaments showcase women’s gripping strength, nerve, and athletic excellence.

Today’s players, Coco Gauff and Naomi Osaka among them, are writing the next chapter in women’s tennis history. Their unwavering dedication and raw talent ensure a storied future for the game we love. The storied game of tennis knows no bounds, uniting fans worldwide as they catch live matches or stream thrillers from the other side of the globe, mesmerized by Larger-than-life competitors who electrify the crowd with racket sorcery and disarming charm.

Basketball: rising stars in the WNBA

Basketball fans have witnessed the evolution of the WNBA from a fledgling league to a powerful entity. Athleticism meets intellectual savvy in the WNBA, as talented players slug it out in games that are as physically demanding as they are mentally challenging, captivating audiences along the way. As the league continues to grow in popularity, a telling sign is the sharp 49% rise in viewership between 2020 and 2021 – an unmistakable indication of its thriving fan base.

With stars like Sabrina Ionescu, A’ja Wilson, and Breanna Stewart leading the charge, women’s basketball is witnessing a transformation like no other – each athlete fusing incredible solo talent with savvy teamwork. While football and baseball simmer on the back burner, the WNBA turns up the heat, delivering hoops action to sports enthusiasts eager for a fix. To watch the WNBA is to embrace a league that’s doing more than playing—it’s building a legacy.

Track and Field: speed and strength on display

Track and field events are the ultimate showcase of human speed, endurance, and power. Women athletes have made history time and again, from Florence Griffith-Joyner’s still-standing world record in the 100 meters to Allyson Felix’s awe-inspiring resilience and record-breaking career. For a few electrifying weeks, the world’s finest female athletes converge on the Olympic and Diamond League stages, dazzling us with their sheer velocity, exquisite technique, and Ironwoman persistence.

If you’re someone who feeds off the adrenaline of witnessing remarkable achievements, then track and field is the perfect sport for you – these fearless women continuously up the ante and push themselves to astonishing heights.

Read more: 5 reasons to take up skiing in later life

Gymnastics: a showcase of skill and precision

Gymnastics is where physical power meets incredible finesse. Simone Biles, Suni Lee, and Aly Raisman have single-handedly revamped the sport of gymnastics. By constantly upping the ante, they’ve inspired a global audience and left a permanent mark on the sport’s history. Global attention zeros in on women’s gymnastics during the World Championships and Olympics, where athletes marry brink-of-disaster flips with elegant poise. With its aerial twists, bold tumbles, and dazzling poses, gymnastics becomes a vibrant tapestry that weaves together intricate patterns of female strength, sophistication, and joy, broadcasting an unapologetic message of solidarity and unbridled excellence.

Ice Hockey: women breaking the ice

Elegance on ice takes a bold new turn as women’s hockey players put on a show, toughness and beauty merged in perfect harmony. As hockey’s popularity surges, leagues like the Premier Hockey Federation and international competitions are enjoying a major boost in the spotlight.

Among the most thrilling winter sports events, the Women’s Ice Hockey World Championship garners huge attention globally. . Between periods, in arenas, and across social media, one epic rivalry ignites passion and fury among hockey enthusiasts: the United States versus Canada – a showdown born of northern pride and unyielding competition.

They’re more than just talented players – Hilary Knight, Marie-Philip Poulin, and Kendall Coyne Schofield are living proof that hard work and passion can catapult you to stardom. Watching women’s hockey is more than just witnessing a match—it’s watching a movement unfold on ice.

Mixed Martial Arts: empowering combat sports

Mixed martial arts (MMA) offers a platform where women are proving their might in a traditionally male-dominated sport. What Ronda Rousey, Amanda Nunes, and Valentina Shevchenko bring to the Octagon is electric – a no-holds-barred clash of raw power and strategic brilliance that’s redefining the face of women’s MMA. With every ground-pounding strike and agile submission, female MMA fighters throw down with unrelenting fury, mesmerizing audiences who hang on their every move.

With every brutal takedown and razor-sharp submission, women in MMA send a clear message: they won’t be held back. They’re breaking free from stereotypes and forging their own path, leaving a trail of shattered glass ceilings in their wake.

In conclusion

Witness the revolution in women’s sports – more competitions, more talent, and more passion than ever before – it’s an era where stars are born, and fans get to be a part of history in the making.

The significance of backing these women goes far beyond the thrill of the game itself; it’s a call to action, empowering them to speak out and pushing for genuine equality across all sports disciplines. By tuning in, showing up, and sharing online, every fan shoulders a part of the responsibility.

Stop hesitating and take the plunge – you’ve got this. Hang on tight and enjoy the thrill of women’s sports as talented female athletes make their mark and rewrite the record books. With sports on the cusp of radical change, dynamic women are staking their claim.

silvermagazine

If you’d like to receive a regular mini-magazine direct to your inbox with a selection of editorial features to read at your leisure, please sign up for our newsletter. We also run the odd competition and offer and whatnot, and newsletter members get the heads-up first.

The post Top sports that women around the world can enjoy watching appeared first on Silver Magazine.

From one heartache to the next

This time two years ago I ended my marriage of 15 years, a week before my birthday. My husband and I lived in our apartment for another 12 months, finishing the renovations so it could go up for sale. I found a much smaller place in St Leonard’s on Sea, just five miles away, while my ex was planning to move back to his native France.

Meanwhile I was in relationship with a man I was besotted with. A man who would go on to repeatedly ghost me then leave me for another woman.

Fast-forward a year and we were finally due to exchange contracts on our flat. Only for the buyer to pull out at the last moment. I had to pay the fees for the flat I could no longer buy, along with the fees for the one we hadn’t sold. I had no work at the time, so it was a huge blow, both financially and emotionally.

It’s fair to say that life was overwhelming for both of us.

Gautier’s father had died unexpectedly during COVID and his mother had recently been diagnosed with cancer, and was undergoing brutal treatment with a bleak prognosis. We were both devastated, obviously him more than me. But I too was so stressed I was worried that I’d end up with cancer.

Guess what?

The unthinkable

Gautier had just left for France when I found a weird cocktail sausage-shaped swelling in my left breast whilst maneuvering myself into a new bikini. I was sent for a mammogram, scan and biopsies immediately after the consultant had examined me, and had a lumpectomy six weeks later.

Friends helped out post-surgery, but there was nobody to make me a cup of tea, give me a hug, do housework and make dinner. Each night I went to bed exhausted, scared and alone. I struggled physically and mentally for months, especially after radiotherapy. I was stuck in a flat I couldn’t sell, so I literally couldn’t move on with my life. And I found it hard to ask for help, so I didn’t.

I desperately needed a break before I broke.

Another article you may like: 10 things I wish I’d known about breast cancer – before I had it 

A change of scenery – the road to recovery

An all-inclusive hotel in Egypt’s Sharm-el-Sheik wouldn’t have been my first choice of destination. I was thinking more of Madeira or Menorca. However, a deal popped up for the Iberotel Redsina and the word ‘snorkeling’ jumped out at me.

I went bananas and booked a ‘swim-up’ room instead of the cheapest room, which is what the old me had always done. The sea appeared to be the same shade of blue as Paul Newman’s eyes. My body needed this like it needed oxygen.

Because it was summer and off-season – high season being spring or late autumn/winter – the resort was almost empty. I arrived at night, ordered room service and jumped straight in the pool outside my room. I swam under the soft white lights with no interruptions except the faint rustling of palm tree leaves as they swayed in the breeze.

The grounds are beautiful

There’s nothing but polite staff, beautiful flowers and palm trees everywhere you go. I felt very relaxed despite the 45-degree heat doing its best to floor me.

I’d sit cross-legged in the clear shallows playing with passing fish and little things that were like a cross between starfish and tarantulas (we held hands/tentacles)

The 60-minute deep tissue massage I treated myself to was the best I’d ever had, and I left the spa with some gorgeous Egyptian skincare products. The beach was two minutes’ walk from my room; the deep water accessed by a long jetty. I was in heaven the moment I jumped into the water.

In the main restaurant, giddy from such a vast choice of food from so many different cultures, I chose Egyptian (obvs). Dishes were beautifully cooked and bursting with flavour. I ate grilled red mullet and sardines, zesty tabbouleh, stuffed aubergines, perfectly dainty French-inspired patisserie, and about 87 different breads.

“Hello Miss Juliette, would you like to do yoga and Pilates each morning, outside in the shade?” Er, yes. After that I’d sit cross-legged in the clear shallows playing with passing fish and little things that were like a cross between starfish and tarantulas (we held hands/tentacles).

Facing phobias

I snorkeled for the first time. This was a huge deal since I have three lifelong phobias: anything covering my face, eels and the other things like eels beginning with ‘s’, and deep water. I had two panic attacks then went back in minus the snorkel, waving to beautiful blue and yellow fish as I swam along the coral. Still in panic mode, though, since I was in 40ft deep water and THERE MIGHT BE AN EEL. I don’t do things by halves.

At the zen pool I could sketch or read in peace while sipping ice-cold Sakara (Egyptian beer) with lemon. I dressed up for dinner each night and was happy to eat alone while I mopped my sweaty brow, insisting on eating outside – “I’m on holiday!” – rather than in the air-conditioned interior.

Four days later, despite a horrible flight, I came back a better, calmer version of myself. I’d been looked after, and I’d relished it. I wouldn’t recommend waiting until you get cancer to allow yourself that. But for me, I guess it was better late than never. Do go in October, though, won’t you?

www.jazhotels.com

Juliette Wills

Juliette writes about football, F1, fashion, health and interiors for national magazines and newspapers. She’s also Bexhill’s new Town Crier (true story!), runs a pet sitting sideline and heads up her own creative agency. If she’s not at home she’s in the sea

The post My cancer recovery: the charm of Sharm appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Tina Fey’s sharp script from 2004 still holds up pretty well 20 years later. Mean Girls was one of those films that entered our vocabulary. “You can’t sit with us!” is a way to perkily exclude someone. “Stop trying to make fetch happen!” has been used countless times when someone tries to start a lame trend. And when someone is described as a “mean girl” – even if that person is well and truly into adulthood — the meaning is automatically understood.   

From screen to theatre, what are the differences?

Damian and Janis played by Tom Xander and Elena Skye. Photo: Brinkhoff/Moegenburg

Now Mean Girls has come to the stage at London’s Savoy theatre as a musical. There have been a few tweaks to the script because the world has changed and changed again in the past two decades. There are references to Ozempic, air fryers and smartphone filters. But perhaps the most significant change is making Damian and Janis, the two gay characters, the narrators. They replace Cady, the lead character and narrator played pitch-perfectly by Lindsay Lohan in the original film.  

It would be lazy and asinine to roll one’s eyes and scream “WOKE GONE MAD!” while waving a rolled-up copy of the Express at a cloud because of the new narrators. Bringing Damian and Janis to the fore is a great way to update the script. This doesn’t take anything away from a storyline that still resonates with pretty much anyone who went to high school.  

The prominence of Damian and Janis, performed excellently by Tom Xander and Elena Skye, modernises the show. It is a wonderful way to show how society has grown up and moved forward in the past 20 years. The script has come of age, along with wider society. Xander and Skye’s presence, peppered with dry humour and camp fun, is important for gay teenagers who will see this show.  

Changing times

That there hasn’t been an outcry over this change speaks volumes. No hysterical newspaper columns. No homophobic Twitter storm following the reviews. Good. While we are seeing a lot of increasingly angry, divisive and often toxic debate on LGBTQ+ issues, the elevation – without controversy – of two gloriously gay characters is a joyous, positive thing. It is a theatrical moment to be proud of.    

Regina George and Regina’s Mum. Played by Georgina Castle and Zoe Rainey.
Photo: Brinkhoff/Moegenburg

As for the story itself, fans of the film will be pleased to know it still follows the same 2004 arc.

The easy – some would say cheap – laughs are still there. Regina George still gains weight by accidentally devouring what she thinks is a diet supplement. Karen is still almost irredeemably stupid. Regina’s mother is still the tracksuit-wearing lush who wants to be her daughter’s best mate, rather than a parent.   

Would the script feel more 2024 if Regina became accidentally addicted to Botox and fillers? Maybe, although I’m not sure how that could be shoehorned seamlessly into the script.   

Was Karen’s idiocy laid on a bit too thickly? Maybe, although most of us can recall laughing at something daft someone said in class many moons ago. I remember one of my school friends responding to the history teacher asking, “What happened to Schleswig-Holstein after WWII?” She said, “he was shot.” I’m still a history nerd and that 33-year-old incident still cracks me up

As for Mrs George as the perma-drunk matey mum, I remember this genre of parent in 1980s and ‘90s rural Australia. I’m sure they still exist in the UK and beyond in 2024. They’re a fair target for parody. She (or he) could be reading this very article now.  

While this latest incarnation of Mean Girls has come of age, along with the rest of us, it’s not a classic coming-of-age tale. But it doesn’t have to be an earnest Dead Poets Society-style show. The universal themes of bullying, of wanting to fit in, of doing terrible things to each other all resonate way beyond our school days. In Mean Girls at the Savoy, they’re told with a lively script, a dizzyingly bright set and bouncy tunes.   

Another article you might like:Midlife Coming of Age

We are all Mean Girls deep down

Georgia Lewis and Sangeeta Pillai

My hot date for press night was the amazing Sangeeta Pillai, who runs an award-winning sex-positive podcast for South Asian women. Our school days were worlds apart. Mumbai and the Australian towns of Wagga Wagga and Bathurst might not have much in common at first glance, but we both went to school with people who are reflected in Mean Girls. Kids can treat each other abominably, no matter where you go.  

As Sangeeta and I discussed after the show, it is not uncommon to come across people in our adult lives who don’t seem to have evolved from when they were at school. Jacob Rees-Mogg, 55, is way too obsessed with where people went to school and what that supposedly says about them, for example. I can think of plenty of prominent people who make a fine living out of embarrassing attention-seeking. The other day, LinkedIn suggested I connect with a former boss who was – and for all I know and care, still is – the epitome of an overgrown mean girl.  

Schoolyard behaviour doesn’t necessarily end for everyone when they leave school. But the one thing we can control is our reaction to adult Mean Girls behaviour. The Mean Girls characters come of age and become better people before our very eyes on stage. And there’s no reason why we can’t go through this process multiple times when we’re adults.    

The Plastics. Played by Georgina Castle, Charlie Burns, Elena Gyasi and Grace Mouat
Photo: Brinkhoff/Moegenburg

Without giving too much away, there is an inevitable resolution at the end of Mean Girls. And in midlife, many of us come to our own realisations and resolutions about how we treat other people – and how we expect to be treated by others. It’s a bonus coming of age. My latest coming of age process has been about setting boundaries and not being afraid to cut out toxic people.   

There is plenty for grown-ups to relate to in the Mean Girls musical, whether it’s teenage characters who give you schoolyard flashbacks, teenage characters whose behaviour is reflected in adults, or adult characters who make you feel seen.

Above all, Mean Girls is a lot of fun. The main reason to go along is to have a good laugh. But only the most sheltered theatregoer will leave without having a few thoughts provoked by Tina Fey’s fantastic writing.    

Book tickets here: Mean Girls Stage Show

Georgia Lewis

In a career that has spanned Australia, the Middle East and the UK, Georgia has written about all sorts of things, including sex, cars, food, oil and gas, insurance, fashion, travel, workplace safety, health, religious affairs, glass and glazing… When she’s not writing words for fun and profit, she can usually be found with a glass of something French and red in her hand.

The post Mean Girls stage show – our review appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Are children really using anti-ageing products? Our children fear hitting 30, let alone 50. And it has become increasingly apparent that anti-ageing products and plastic surgery is rife amongst Gen Z and Alpha.

A quick look at TikTok will horrify you on this score. Many young people and even children touting and posting the use of anti-ageing products. But with all the positive ageing messaging we have now, why are our kids terrified of ageing? What is going on?

We’ve faced our fair share of beauty standards across the decades. And we know that some days it’s easier than others to embrace the fine lines and love the wrinkles. But we also know ageing has its own beauty. The tales of laughter, late nights talking, and a life well-enjoyed are in every laughter line. We are increasingly able to celebrate the evidence of a life well lived.

Even mainstream media figures are saying a big eff-you to outdated beauty messages

Over the past decade or so, our acceptance of the ageing process has powered a pro-ageing movement. And this is particularly evident in the beauty industry. Products now support maturing skin with a pro-ageing message, rather than shaming it with ‘anti-ageing’ ranges.

Even mainstream media figures are saying a big eff-you to outdated beauty messages, and the idea that women become past it once they hit a certain look or age. Check out Nicole Kidman in 2022’s Vanity Fair cover, or And Just Like That normalising women over 50 wearing bold prints and trendy items and unashamed grey hair. We’re – thankfully – getting miles away from the phrase ‘dress your age.’ And hey, Pamela Anderson, I’m looking at you, with your fresh-faced confidence… you go girl!

So why is it, that with a generation of older women – older people in fact – to look up to, who are openly embracing maturity and challenging the idea that beauty is reserved for the young, we’re seeing under 30s getting Botox and plastic surgery? Meanwhile, even more worrying, under 18s are so afraid of a single fine line, they’re putting anti-ageing skincare on their Christmas wish lists.

Packing plastic

People are cutting and injecting themselves for cosmetic purpose more than ever before. Plastic surgery procedures increased by 102 per cent in 2022. With breast augmentation, tummy tucks, and liposuction being the most popular among women, who made up 93 per cent.

Nose jobs, chest reductions, and eyelid adjustments were top dog among the men who went under the knife. Under 34s are the highest demographic undergoing breast augmentation procedures.

The number of young people investing in preventative Botox has also increased, with many in their mid-twenties getting the injections to keep wrinkles at bay.

‘Preventative Botox’ has become a hot topic online. The hashtag for Botox has over one million videos on TikTok, with the top videos amassing 2-4 million views.

Over two-thirds of TikTok’s usership is made up of 18-34-year-olds. Young people are engaging in content which positions Botox and other cosmetic procedures as standard, common even. When you’re seeing countless people sharing their experience or recommendations for fillers, it’s gradually going to become as trivial as trying the latest viral foundation. Perhaps it’s just a way to try and get a face that looks like it’s filtered in real life?

Attainable attraction

In the eighties and nineties, you’d really only see augmented beauty in magazines, or posters. These days, Gen Z and Alpha open their phones and are confronted with endless images of influencers and celebrities. Many of these faces are supporting plumped lips, refined noses, and sculpted jaws. Never mind the filters that give you flawless skin, or even a full face of makeup. With this pressure from infinitely tweaked faces, it seems young people have become afraid of their natural, asymmetrical beauty, warping what is considered attractive.

Once considered an exclusive and unattainable way to update appearances, treatments are far more accessible to the wider population

The invention of silicon and cosmetic technologies in the sixties led to the rich and famous adjusting their appearance through cosmetic surgery. Once considered an exclusive and unattainable way to update appearances, treatments are far more accessible to the wider population. Botox injections can set you back by as little as £100 in the UK (essentially the price of a new coat, or a pair of trainers). Plus, medical tourism offers cheaper prices for these procedures, making for an appealing option – after all, you get a built-in holiday too.

Over the last decade, we’ve seen the discussions around medical beauty treatments everywhere. The Kardashians discussing their lip fillers, surgeons online breaking down a celebrity’s latest cosmetic work, and Love Island contestants sharing what they’ve had done. When you feel like everyone’s doing it, it’s understandable more people will gravitate towards it. Attitudes change, as cosmetic surgery has gone from being perceived as exclusive to something everyone can do.

Alpha’s anti-ageing frenzy

Although these treatments are illegal to perform on under 18s, that hasn’t stopped Gen Alpha from getting involved with anti-ageing effects. Earlier this year, dermatologists spoke out about the dangers of parents buying their children skincare products with highly active ingredients.

This comes from the recent boom of tweens pining after expensive retinol and vitamin C serums. Online trends where young women share their ‘get unready with me’ (GRWM) routines are packed with colourfully packaged products with fun names, like Watermelon Glow Serum, which contains hyaluronic acid. These products aren’t necessary for young skin, and can damage their sensitive faces.

Whilst part of Gen Alpha’s motivation may be to assimilate with the online community of women sharing their routines, the attraction to ‘anti-ageing’ results is worrying. Children shouldn’t be worrying about signs of ageing; in fact no one should be worried about it. For far too long youth has been equated with beauty and worth, and it’s causing anxiety and harm to our children and grandchildren.

I can’t help but wonder, with existing concerns of social media impacting mental health and self-worth on the young now, will that intensify as they do age and develop a tapestry of life experience on their skin? I can’t believe children are already using anti-ageing products I’m only in my 20s and I feel the pressure. It’s everywhere.

Impacts on ageism

Fears of ageing shouldn’t be intensifying, but lessening. I’d hoped that the next generation would learn from the OGs here. After all, maturity should be championed and seen as a blessing, rather than something to slap plaster on. And certainly not something to be avoided by pumping chemicals into your face before you’re barely in double figures.

Young people’s desperation to take up whatever’s available to slow ageing is a disheartening sight.  We know that ageing skin isn’t a curse, but our young people might not reach acceptance of that fact until the damage is done.

Perhaps we need more untouched and mature faces online to counteract young people’s perceptions of what normal is. I don’t think it’s the entire responsibility of over 50s to resolve this issue. However, there could be a positive influence made by sharing the beauty and comfort of silver skin and drowning out the noise of filtered faces and altered bodies. The fight against ageism continues, and we’re going to keep on flying the flag. Whatever our age. We never thought we’d see children using anti-ageing products, but here we are.

Lana Hall

Lana can usually be found spinning her collection of records, or writing odd poems in her phone notes. Her mixer of choice is a ginger beer, and you’ll never find her away from the sea for more than a few weeks.

The post Why are school children using anti-ageing skincare products appeared first on Silver Magazine.

And while it’s often only associated with the common hot flashes and mood swings, menopause can also bring a plethora of physical changes with it, that may catch many of us off guard. Here are ten of the most common physical symptoms the menopause brings and how to navigate them with grace and knowledge.

1.   Lovely night sweats

Ah, yes, we’re starting with the dreaded night sweats. The menopause often brings on sudden and intense episodes of sweating during sleep, leaving a lot of us quite drenched and, well, frustrated. You can combat those nocturnal heat waves by wearing moisture-wicking sleepwear, keeping your bedroom nice and cool – and practicing relaxation techniques before bedtime.

2.   Uncomfortable vaginal dryness

Because of our drastically declining oestrogen levels, you might develop a vaginal dryness and resulting discomfort. To be able to keep up intercourse with your partner without it becoming stressful or even hurting, make sure you have water-based lubricants handy, are staying hydrated – and maybe even discuss hormone replacement therapy options with your GP.

3.   Hair loss and thinning

A lot of us notice changes in our hair texture and density, too – often leading to unwanted hair loss and thinning. As our hair is quite a large part of our appearance, this can be especially frustrating and lead to insecurities. Nourishing, hydrating shampoos and conditioners are important, as is avoiding harsh styling treatments. There are also hair vitamins specifically designed for women available; and if you’re unsure, ask your dermatologist for more personalised advice.

4.   Wild skin changes

Menopause can wreak havoc on our skins, too, causing dryness, wrinkles, and age spots. Make sure to moisturise daily, wear sunscreen religiously (we can’t stress this enough) and incorporate more antioxidant-rich foods into your diet – like berries, nuts, and vegetables such as broccoli or spinach.

5.   Joint pain

Well, it’s getting clearer now that our whole body is affected, isn’t it? Hormonal fluctuations can exacerbate joint pain and stiffness, making everyday activities a sudden challenge. Low-impact exercises like swimming and yoga (and remember, no better date to start than now!), but also applying heat or cold packs to sore area are excellent ways to counter this.

6.   Digestive issues

Of course, our organs have something to say, too. Bloating, constipation, and gas are common complaints due to our hormonal imbalances. A fibre-rich diet, staying hydrated, and practicing mindful eating habits will help sooth your body.

7.   Breast changes

Our breasts might change as well – be it breast size, density, and sensitivity – causing discomfort and not uncommonly anxiety in some women. Always stay breast-aware by performing regular self-exams, wearing supportive bras, and seeking medical attention if you notice any unusual lumps or changes.

8.   Headaches, of all things

Of course, why wouldn’t we get headaches out of this! Solutions here are the same as they’ve always been: Hydration, stress-relief techniques like meditation and deep breathing help, as well as avoiding known triggers such as caffeine or alcohol.

9.   Dizziness and vertigo

Interestingly (and annoyingly), menopause-related hormonal change can also somehow affect the inner ear, leading to feelings of dizziness and vertigo. Stay steady on your feet by practicing balance exercises, avoiding sudden movements, and consulting an ear, nose, and throat specialist if your symptoms persist.

10.  Draining fatigue

And last but not least, it often brings on bouts of fatigue and lethargy, leaving a lot of us feeling drained and depleted at times. Make sure to prioritise your sleep, maintain a balanced diet, and incorporate regular physical activity into your routine.

That’s quite a handful, isn’t it? Well, lucky for us, a lot of the symptoms on the list can be tackled with similar approaches. Knowing and applying those self-care strategies may even be enough to shut some of them away for good, before they even happen. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and there are plenty of us that can help and support and a myriad of resources out there. These are most common physical symptoms the menopause brings but everyone is different. You got this!

silvermagazine

If you’d like to receive a regular mini-magazine direct to your inbox with a selection of editorial features to read at your leisure, please sign up for our newsletter. We also run the odd competition and offer and whatnot, and newsletter members get the heads-up first.

The post 10 of the physical symptoms the menopause brings appeared first on Silver Magazine.

The Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) has issued guidance so that employers cannot simply dismiss the experiences of menopause in the workplace. Thankfully, it’s no longer to be viewed as a minor inconvenience, but something that has an impact on around 50 per cent of the workforce.

This is a much-needed clarification of the Equality Act 2010 by the EHRC. Which ruled that failure to make “reasonable adjustment” amounts to disability discrimination if – and here’s the important detail – the symptoms have a “long-term and substantial impact” on an employee’s ability to carry out their usual day-to-day activities.

It is rare to experience menopause, or indeed perimenopause, without any symptoms that make a “long-term and substantial impact.” And perimenopause, which can start as early as the late thirties, is often the worst part.

Hot flushes, night sweats, fatigue, brain fog, disturbed sleep, painful breasts, debilitatingly heavy periods and unexpected periods that feel like a hellish farewell-to-fertility concert. It’s an onerous list of symptoms that can last a decade. On top of all that, the risk factor for ovarian and uterine cancer increase. As does the risk of endometriosis and its lesser-known evil sister, adenomyosis.

Symptoms can be debilitating

Sam Harrington-Lowe, Silver’s editor-in-chief, recalls her own experiences of the menopause, especially the brain fog, poor sleep and painful periods: “My sleep patterns were all over the place, my periods were both agonising and biblical in output, I couldn’t risk leaving the house some days. But perhaps the worst thing was the brain fog. My mind, normally the thing I’m most proud of, just stopped working properly – it was actually quite frightening.”

Read more: Menopause and brain fog, will I ever think clearly again?

Over on Twitter (or X or whatever it’s called these days…), the response has been largely positive to this news. That said, @AudreySuffolk makes an important point about the use of disability language by the EHRC. “A lot of social media discussion about women experiencing menopause being disabled under the Equality Act demonstrate some worrying thinking about acceptance of negative attitudes to disability and work. Disability isn’t and shouldn’t be a slur.”

A lot of social media discussion about women experiencing menopause being disabled under Equality Act demonstrate some worrying thinking about acceptance of negative attitudes to disability and work. Disability isn’t and shouldn’t be a slur

— Audrey Ludwig (@AudreySuffolk) February 22, 2024

This is an important and powerful reminder. After all, if a colleague is in a wheelchair and needs reasonable adjustments, such as a ramp to access a building, this is considered a positive thing. Equally, we need to look at making reasonable adjustments for the menopause as a positive way to improve the lives of our colleagues and productivity overall.

This should be a time to shine

The menopausal decade should be one of our most productive times. We have experience and knowledge to impart, no matter what we do for a living. We are assets to any organisation and it is outrageous that menopausal symptoms can cut us down when we should be in our prime.

However, in the real world, there is still a long way to go, even in workplaces that are not horrific sweatshops. @sambakey tweeted that her male supervisor is “lovely and I can talk to him.” But that it’s “impossible to find anything regarding menopause on our intranet” in regard to workplace health.

I can’t say too much on here because of who I work for. My male supervisor is lovely & I can talk to him. However, it’s impossible to find anything regarding menopause on our intranet, nothing under workplace health dept https://t.co/kkzsOwvDf2

— Sam Clark (@sambakey) February 22, 2024

Then we had the unedifying spectacle of Quentin Letts on Good Morning Britain making light of menopause in response to the EHRC announcement. He likened menopausal symptoms to older men suffering from dodgy knees or needing to take a nap after wine at lunch. The last thing anyone in the grip of a particularly ferocious hot flush or a wild menopausal mood swing needs is unhelpful mansplaining of menopause on the telly.

@Holly_Pocketses tweeted: “Quentin Letts ill-advised input into a discussion about the menopause was disgraceful. Comparing the condition to his own ailments – having ‘hurty’ knees and needing a nap after wine at lunch was insulting to say the least.”

I’ve had to turn you off this morning. Quentin Letts ill-advised input into a discussion about the menopause was disgraceful. Comparing the condition to his own ailments – having ‘hurty’ knees and needing a nap after wine at lunch was insulting to say the least.

— Holly Pocket (@Holly_Pocketses) February 22, 2024

Cautiously positive

Hopefully, today’s news will be the catalyst for employers everywhere to make sure they introduce solid menopause policies. Everyone should feel comfortable talking about menopause at work and be understanding when a colleague needs to be accommodated because of menopause symptoms.

Sam Harrington-Lowe sums up what the new guidance should mean for so many women – and what more needs to be done. “I cannot imagine how horrific it would have been to deal with menopause in a 9-5 work structure. The time at work, the commuting, having to deal with people. Thank goodness we finally have some safeguards in place to support women dealing with this, although frankly, I’d like to see some support given to women having periods every month as this can also be debilitating.”

Georgia Lewis

In a career that has spanned Australia, the Middle East and the UK, Georgia has written about all sorts of things, including sex, cars, food, oil and gas, insurance, fashion, travel, workplace safety, health, religious affairs, glass and glazing… When she’s not writing words for fun and profit, she can usually be found with a glass of something French and red in her hand.

The post Good news for women going through menopause in the workplace appeared first on Silver Magazine.

“Back then it was different,” say those who are nostalgic for the days of racist sitcoms, Mr Humphries being free-passing for LGBT representation, and women’s arses being fair game for pinching at work.

In that context, “back then” ended sometime around 1985 with the last episode of Are You Being Served? But now, as Russell Brand claims everything was consensual during his days of promiscuity, “back then” has fast-forwarded to the noughties.

This was the era of lads’ mags and ladettes. When the glorification of shagging and boozing and not caring about your cocaine’s supply chain provided the sordid soil in which Brand’s career grew.

This was the era of lads’ mags and ladettes… the glorification of shagging and boozing and not caring about your cocaine’s supply chain

At the time, I was in my ludicrously misspent twenties, ending that debauched decade by working on the Australian edition of FHM and writing a weekly column in the Sydney Morning Herald, before moving to Dubai. Apart from not seeing a flake of coke anywhere, Dubai was not quite the men-and-merlot detox people who had never set foot in the Middle East said it would be.

Photo: Eva Rinaldi

Marina Hyde recently reflected in The Guardian about how she could have done better “back then.” Particularly regarding comments she made about Georgina Baillie, the granddaughter of Andrew Sachs. Baillie’s name has been forgotten by many, but she was at the centre of the 2008 Sachsgate scandal.

Hyde looked back on what she wrote at that time with mortification and regret. She described Brand and Jonathan Ross as scumbags for calling Sachs, just so Brand could boast about having sex with Baillie, egged on by Ross. But she also mocked those who complained to Ofcom, and wrote that Baillie should stop banging on about it.  And – and this bit was conspicuous by its absence from the mea culpa – sneeringly criticised a piece Baillie wrote for The Sun, and used ‘Satanic Slut’ (a reference to Baillie’s Voluptua the Satanic Slut burlesque character) as a demeaning insult.

I was completely unaware that the prank caused Baillie to spiral into addiction

Living in Dubai at the time, Sachsgate didn’t get saturation coverage on the heavily censored local media. But we didn’t exist in a total bubble. I had a laugh about it with my flatmate at the time. I was completely unaware that the prank caused Baillie to spiral into addiction. She didn’t speak to her grandfather for eight years. That is time she can never get back.

Read interview with Jon Stewart of Sleeper: why we’re better now than we were in the 90s

This got me thinking about my time at FHM. It was an era of stereotypically working and playing hard. Of spending most of my time with my colleagues either in the office, at parties, or in the pub.

Georgia Lewis at work in Dubai

How complicit was I, a mere sub editor, in contributing to the culture that allowed – or still allows – alleged sexual predators to hide in plain sight?

I was part of a magazine best known for photographs of women wearing not very much. It can be easily argued that such content is inherently sexist, pandering to the male gaze. Even though the women were always aged 18 or over and consented to the shoots.

When it came to headlines, captions, and content, pretty much anything was fair game for a joke. Apart from rape or paedophilia. I can’t say for certain that racist or homophobic content never made it through the net, but I’d need to dig through the back issues that are probably lurking at my parents’ house 10,000 miles away to check.

As well as sub-editing layouts, I compiled the sex pages. Assorted adult toy tests, one staff writer plunged his bits into a tub of some sort of sex custard to fill a paragraph. Naked Barbie and Ken dolls photographed demonstrating human pretzel sex positions. That actually attracted the ire of Mattel, as FHM was published by the same company that had the contract for Barbie magazine. But po-faced legal letters were water off a duck’s back.

FHM was inundated with women keen to appear in the magazine… was I exploiting women..?

I thought hard about the monthly shoot and sex discussions I oversaw. Back then it was different! FHM was inundated with women keen to appear in the magazine. I never struggled to find models willing to pose in swimwear or lingerie for a shoot before I took them to the pub on expenses to chat about a sex topic. Was I exploiting women eager to boost their careers by getting them to talk about everything from foreplay to whether older or younger men were better in bed. While getting them a bit drunk after posing in next to nothing?

There was always a lot of laughter at the pub, everyone had plenty to say and when the magazine came out. I received delighted emails from the participants. One model is still a friend, although she did confide in me years later about how a young, cocky intern she met via FHM behaved inappropriately, grinding his pelvis against her in an unwanted advance. I wish she’d told me at the time, and I hope I would have done something about it.

I’m sure that not everything we wrote has aged well. It feels weird to have been part of the latest “back then it was different.”

The one incident that sticks in my mind is a harassment complaint from an entrant in FHM’s Girlfriend of the Year modelling competition. In the analogue early noughties, hopeful young women would often send photos by post, so the retouch artists had to laboriously scan loads of pics for the mag. One entrant received multiple phone calls from a retoucher, who saw her number on the back of her photo. I am pleased to report the retoucher (what a damn job title…) was fired. And nobody felt sorry for him, or blamed the entrant for being a scantily clad temptress.

I’m sure that not everything we wrote has aged well. It feels weird to have been part of the latest “back then when things were different.” Although some of the worst things I wrote in that era were in the Sydney Morning Herald.

I remember a clumsily worded column about bowel cancer versus breast cancer. And a ridiculously unsisterly rant about married female colleagues complaining that their husbands wanted sex all the time, while my own personal life was a car crash. I am relieved these columns seem to have vanished with the Herald’s website’s multiple redesigns.

But this week’s events gave me pause for thought. My tiny part in “back then” was miles away from Russell Brand, working on a magazine that was more interested in Shane Warne than the creepy, thesaurus-swallowing booky wooky author. But it was part of lad culture in a faraway country that will probably always glorify toxic masculinity to some degree. I won’t lose any sleep over it now, but I agree with Marina Hyde that we can all do better, and get things right this time.

Georgia Lewis

In a career that has spanned Australia, the Middle East and the UK, Georgia has written about all sorts of things, including sex, cars, food, oil and gas, insurance, fashion, travel, workplace safety, health, religious affairs, glass and glazing… When she’s not writing words for fun and profit, she can usually be found with a glass of something French and red in her hand.

The post Back then it was ‘different’, right? How many of us were part of it? appeared first on Silver Magazine.

It’s human nature to look for a life partner. Swans do it too, and have an outstanding success rate, but swans are a bit less complicated than humans. Have you ever considered a short-term fling might be the answer?

We go through life looking for ‘the one’ and are often heartbroken when they turn out not to be. But then we do it again, repeating the same patterns and only believing that a relationship has value or is meaningful if it lasts a long time. What if I told you there is an alternative?

The joy of not-forever love

What if we were to change our perception of the long-term goal, and instead focus on enjoying short-term love? Maybe not even love, but a meaningful fling. One in which both parties know that it’s not forever, and are happy to forge ahead regardless?

What I don’t need is to completely lose myself to someone again. So I’m essentially looking to date men who I know aren’t suitable long-term

We spend a lot of energy looking for Mr Right when we might be better off looking for Mr Right Now. This is particularly true if you’ve just come out of a relationship that ended badly. Or if you’re in the throes of divorce (I tick both boxes, go me!).

While my friends yell at me to spend time on my own, I yell back that I’ve essentially been on my own whilst being married for 15 years. I’m ready to love, to be loved, and to have some fun along the way. Or even to separate the two. What I don’t need is to completely lose myself to someone again. So I’m essentially looking to date men who I know aren’t suitable long-term (but who also aren’t monsters, obviously).

Playing it on the safe side?

Juliette – keeping things short and sweet

To that end I’m veering towards much younger men with whom I know a future isn’t on the cards. I’m OK with that. When I was 32 my boyfriend was – ahem – 19, so it’s fair to say that’s my thing. If, at some point, I decide that I do want a grown-up, more serious relationship, I’ll simply adapt and look for men who want the same.

Read more: Why I cheat on my husband

I’m very emotionally-led, however, so whether I can pull off this cool-as-a-cucumber cougar persona remains to be seen. The other person will also have to adopt the same attitude. Fortunately, younger men aren’t generally looking for long-term love (at least not with a woman 15 years older than themselves). So really, all the emotional stuff will be on me. Gulp.

The expert viewpoint

“Some people may feel that it’s not worth the emotional investment or potential risks involved,” explains dating coach Billy Reid. Indeed, there’s always a risk that one of you will fall head over heels for the other, and upset the equilibrium.

…there’s always a risk that one of you will fall head over heels for the other, and upset the equilibrium

“If they’re experiencing a lack of attention or affection, the intensity of the fling might appear to fill that void. But if the dalliance is brief, it could continue to be missing after the fling finishes,” explains Reid.

However, Reid also outlines the positives of such a venture.

“A short-term romantic relationship can provide a sense of excitement and novelty, which can boost mood and self-confidence. Additionally, some individuals may find that a brief romantic encounter allows them to explore their own desires and preferences in a low-pressure environment.”

In other words, a short-term fling is like a French meringue – you won’t really know how it’ll turn out until you try.

Brief encounters

Charlotte, a 48-year-old PR manager from West Sussex, had a whirlwind relationship with a man she met by chance on a train. She was recently divorced, and he was separated.

“I really fancied him and couldn’t remember feeling like that about anyone before. He told me he’d just split with his wife and wasn’t ready for a relationship, but that he was happy to have fun. I was infatuated from the first moment we kissed. It just felt like he’d been missing my entire life.”

After two months of a whirlwind romance and “the greatest sex I’ve ever had,” he started to back away. When Charlotte confronted him, he told her that he cared about her very much, but felt the relationship was getting too serious.

[perfectpullquote align=”left” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]He constantly told me how sexy I was, which gave me a huge confidence boost. He treated me well, and he was honest[/perfectpullquote]

“I was devastated,” says Charlotte. “I cried for weeks. I’ve been having therapy and I’m now six months down the line. And instead of being angry with Mike, as I was initially, I realise now that he did me a favour.”

“He constantly told me how sexy I was, which gave me a huge confidence boost. He treated me well, and he was honest. I can now see that the relationship was good for me, and that I can’t be angry that it ended. We met one last time and wished each other well. My bar is set very high now for future relationships and that’s got to be a good thing.”

Would she do it again?

“Sure, if both of us knew from the outset that it wasn’t going to develop into anything serious. The attraction has got to be there, of course, but I don’t need to find my soul mate or perfect man right now, I need to have fun and just enjoy life. I have to accept that it will invariably come to natural end, but I feel more equipped to deal with that now.”

Setting boundaries

“Ultimately,” says Reid, “the benefits of short-term romantic relationships are subjective and depend on one’s own goals, values, and emotional needs. It’s important to approach any romantic encounter with clear communication and mutual respect, and to prioritise your own well-being and boundaries.”

When you only spend a few weeks with someone, you’re firmly in the honeymoon period phase

Boundaries are key, because the downside to short-term relationships is that they are harder to get over than long-term relationships. When you only spend a few weeks with someone, you’re firmly in the honeymoon period phase the entire time. Your dopamine and oxytocin levels are through the roof, endorphins are flying high and the person you’re with is endlessly fascinating to you. Because you haven’t worked them out yet (and in the case of short-term love, you never will).

While the positives are that there’s no chance of being bored, of discovering their flaws and of becoming unhappy, the downside is that because you don’t see their flaws, when you do split up you only have positive memories. You haven’t had a chance to resent them or feel anger, or vice versa. It may seem like a mad idea to split when you’re so enamoured by each other. But trust me, it makes sense.

We don’t stay in the same house or the same job all our lives. Our friendships are transient, too. If, when we need to take a step back, we can approach relationships in the same way, ie that they don’t have to be forever to be meaningful, we might just surprise ourselves. By entering into a new relationship without the pressure of long-term love, you might actually be more equipped for it when it does come along.

Juliette Wills

Juliette writes about football, F1, fashion, health and interiors for national magazines and newspapers. She’s also Bexhill’s new Town Crier (true story!), runs a pet sitting sideline and heads up her own creative agency. If she’s not at home she’s in the sea

The post Why you should consider a short-term fling appeared first on Silver Magazine.