This National Fitness Day, Channelle Hylton-Taylor, Activities Coordinator at Bupa Care Services , shares tips for anyone interested in getting more activity back into their lives, following recent online search increases. If you want to get fit again and you’re over 50, brilliant. But a few words of advice first.

In the last three months, more people have been turning to Google to find out ways to safely reintroduce movement and fitness as we mature. Searches are 26 times higher in August than they were any other month this year.

Staying active in as we age can have a range of benefits for your body and mind. When it’s done right, it can help you ward off aches and pains, not to mention boost your mental health. And yes, help future you to maintain physical independence as things inevitably head south.

5 tips to for getting back into fitness

Build things up slowly

If it’s been a while since you had a regular routine, it’s really important to build things up slowly to protect your body and really feel the benefits. The long-term goal is to aim for 150 minutes of moderate intensity aerobic exercise, every week.

If you’re currently not very active, take it easy with whatever activity you choose, and gradually increase how much you do of it over time. Moderate aerobic exercise is moving in a way that makes your breathing and heart rate faster, making you feel warmer, but it’s not vigorous enough to mean that you can’t still hold a conversation.

Another article you may enjoy: Save serious money and cycle to work

Choose aerobic exercises that you enjoy

It’s easier to make exercise a habit if you find something that you enjoy. Everyone is different, so experiment with a few different movements to see which one you get the most from. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Brisk walking – this could be around your home or garden, or around the block. It may be helpful to listen to an audiobook or some music to motivate you.
• Gardening – activities sweeping can give you a great workout, all while making your garden look more appealing!
• Swimming – this is a great low impact exercise, that’s really handy for those with hip or knee pain.
• Dancing – put on your favourite tunes and have a boogie round the house, or you could even join a dance class.
• Cycling – why not incorporate it into your lifestyle by getting on a bike and heading to the shops?
• ‘Walking’ sports like football or netball – look out for local clubs to feel the social benefit, too.

Don’t forget strengthening exercises

Along with aerobic exercise, it’s important to maintain your bone and muscle strength. Increased muscle tone will not only give your bodywork a bit more support, you’ll also burn calories more efficiently.

Bone and muscle strength is something that’s naturally lost with age. You should aim to do strength exercises on at least two days every week. But again, build this up slowly to give your muscles time to adjust and build.

You can incorporate strengthening exercises into your daily life by challenging yourself, or by introducing a new activity – and maybe even having some fun with it. Here are some ideas:

• Do some squats as you wait for the kettle to boil or you’re making dinner.
• Do some digging in the garden – this encourages you to use your weight against you for results.
• Water aerobics – these low-impact classes can help you maintain and gain muscle mass and strength.
• Pilates, tai chi, yoga – balance exercises are really important, particularly for core strength.
• Life weights at the gym – speak to an instructor for advice on form and limits.

Speak to a health professional if you’re concerned

If you’re worried about starting exercising – it could be that you have a health condition, or you’ve been recovering from an illness – that shouldn’t stop you from exercising completely. In some cases, exercise may help you to get better.

Know when to stop

If you’re getting enjoyment from exercise, it may be tempting to go all-in. However, if you find you have aches, pains, or dizziness when you exercise, that’s your body’s way of telling you that you may have gone a little too hard. So ease it back and build things up more slowly.

Speak to a GP straight away if you get any chest pain, light-headedness, or breathing difficulties when you exercise. Stop exercising until you speak to a health professional.

Generally speaking, start slow, find something you love doing, and you can build your fitness up slowly, surely and with confidence.

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The post Get fit again over 50 – time to move your body appeared first on Silver Magazine.

It’s not patronising to recognise this. As we age, a holistic approach encompassing physical activity, balanced nutrition, mental stimulation and social engagement is essential for staying fit and healthy. Particularly once you’re over 50. Here are a few useful tips for lifestyle changes that can help promote longevity, and enhance your life for as long as possible.

Keep moving

It’s essential to keep moving, whatever form of exercise you choose. Low-impact activities such as walking, swimming, or yoga, which are gentle on the joints but effective in keeping the body active, should be incorporated. Above all, choose the exercise you enjoy as you’re more likely to do it regularly.

Although we often associate ageing with slowing down, research shows that you don’t necessarily have to stop intense exercise if you enjoy it. Individuals who did a few minutes of intense exercise around three times daily reduced their risk of dying from a cardiovascular issue by 50 per cent.

As we age, our joints may become more prone to inflammation and discomfort

Pilates can improve core strength, flexibility, and posture. Jessica May, a registered nutritionist and Pilates instructor, says it can challenge muscle stiffness, joint pain, and balance problems.

“As we age, our joints may become more prone to inflammation and discomfort,” she explains. “Pilates, being low-impact and gentle on the joints, is an ideal workout for individuals with joint issues. Its controlled movements and emphasis on alignment alleviate muscle stiffness and improve overall mobility.”

May says resistance training can be incorporated into Pilates using reformer beds, weights or resistance bands. “By integrating resistance training into your Pilates routine, you can build muscle, increase bone density, and enhance overall strength.”

Whatever way you choose to stay fit, make sure you’ve got the right gear to stay comfortable. Whether it’s the right footwear, or a softball jersey!

Overcoming hormone changes

There’s dealing with hormone changes too, particularly for women. As oestrogen declines during perimenopause and menopause, it can lead to increased insulin resistance and potentially joint stiffness. This is where strength training can also be beneficial. Regular strength training helps to maintain muscle mass and increase bone density, which is crucial in reducing the risk of osteoporosis, a condition more prevalent in women as they age. Additionally, it boosts metabolism by increasing lean muscle mass, aiding in weight management and fat loss.

Regular strength training helps to maintain muscle mass and increase bone density

Bex Prade, functional medicine practitioner and registered clinical nutritionist  says, “Heavy strength training is effective for easing symptoms in perimenopause and menopause. It helps gain muscle and change your body composition. Lift heavy! You want to get to a weight where your muscles start to fatigue after six or so reps.

“Mobility exercises are essential before every weight session as women in their late forties and early fifties are more susceptible to soft tissue and joint injuries due to the drop in oestrogen.”

Gut health and nutrition

Unsurprisingly, nutrition plays a crucial role in staying healthy. A balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats provides essential nutrients that support bodily functions and combat age-related health issues. Also boosts your immune system.

“We need more protein as we age, so make sure you’re getting at least 100g of quality protein a day, spread across the day,” says Prade. “A good benchmark is 30-50g of protein at each meal, especially focussing on a high protein breakfast to help protect skeletal muscle and balance blood sugar and hormones throughout the day.”

Prade also believes we must take care of our gut health. “Imbalances in the gut are inextricably linked to inflammation, accelerated ageing, and nearly all chronic disease including cancer, diabetes, heart disease, and dementia,” she affirms.

…make sure you’re getting at least 100g of quality protein a day, spread across the day…

So, how do you look after and balance your gut health and make it part of your daily routine? “Reduce sugars and starches, and increase your prebiotic, probiotic, and polyphenol-rich foods intake. Good bacteria feed on prebiotic fibres (avocados, artichokes, asparagus, berries, peas, chia seeds, and pistachios), probiotics (fermented foods like sauerkraut, pickles, tempeh, miso, kefir and kimchi), and the polyphenols found in colourful plants (olive oil, turmeric, pomegranate, kiwifruit, green tea, cocoa, nuts).”

Therefore, probiotics as part of your lifestyle may be something to add. Prade also recommends “Prebiotic powders like PHGG and GOS, bitter vegetables that help digestive enzyme production, organic bone broths to heal the gut lining, and a good multi-strain probiotic.”

Another health option is to practice short bursts of heat therapy followed by cold water exposure. According to London ice-bath venue Sauna and Plunge, combining hot and cold therapy can activate responses that enhance immune function, energy, mental focus, and circulation. It also encourages cellular repair mechanisms, increases stress resilience and metabolic activity, improves sleep, and reduces chronic pain.

Staying hydrated and moderating the intake of processed foods, sugar, and alcohol are equally important for long-term health. May says, “Get 7-9 hours of sleep, drink 1.5 to 2 litres of water daily, engage in regular physical exercise, consume balanced meals, and minimise stress and alcohol intake.”

Mental wellbeing

Mental health is another key component of overall well-being. Engaging in activities that stimulate the mind and maintain social connections can help keep cognitive functions sharp, release endorphins and reduce the risk of mental health issues and stress.

“Staying active can profoundly impact your mental well-being. Exercise has been linked to reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression, improved self-esteem, and enhanced body image,” says May.

“Age should never be a barrier to staying fit and feeling fabulous. It’s never too late to try new activities or prioritise your health. Embrace opportunities to explore new hobbies, push your limits, and take care of your body and mind.”

Sarah Haselwood

Sarah Haselwood is a freelance writer and journalist, who is passionate about travel, health and wellness, and HR topics. She dabbles in creative writing and is trying to write a novel.

The post Practical tips to stay fit and healthy over 50 appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Alison decided it was time for living life to the full by swapping stability for excitement. From corporate office to exotic beaches…

What does ‘normal’ mean anyway?

“I gave up ‘normal life’ in a big corporation five years ago, after taking a Tantra journey and retraining as a sex coach. So pre-pandemic, my unusual normal was living in Hebden Bridge making a small living as a sex coach for one-to-one clients, and running events called The Sex Lectures in Manchester. I lived alone with no mortgage and had a fantastic group of friends. In 2019 I’d been to Bali and written a memoir which I was editing.

“I was living fairly comfortably and with a sense of stability. Excitingly, I had a writers residency in Sri Lanka lined up; I was already following my heart. As well as holding together financially, I had a small amount of savings for back-up.

While he was in love and thought he was ‘helping me’, I was dying of boredom, entrapped in conventional housewife mode

“At the end of 2019 I’d had a date with someone who was visiting the UK from Australia. He came back to visit in January 2020. I’d realised our hearts, minds, and personalities were incompatible, but as the first lockdown happened, he asked to stay. Overriding my instincts, I agreed.

“Although sex was a brilliant coping mechanism – as was my Tantra teacher’s advice about kindness and patience – by May I felt imprisoned in my own home with an older man who loved looking into the fire, telling repetitive yarns about bygone days in the marines and his childhood. While he was in love and thought he was ‘helping me’, I was dying of boredom, entrapped in conventional housewife mode.”

Taking a leap and travelling the world

“The pivotal moment during the pandemic for me to change my life was when a friend bailed me out of my metaphorical jail and took me to Corfu for a week. I came home, told the guy to leave, then decided it’d be better if I used this time to follow my instincts to live abroad in my fifties. So the ex turned into one of my two lodgers – both of whom are ex-lovers.

“My life looks so much better now; I’ve lived simply and cut down on spending. I went back to Corfu before heading to Italy for five months, to housesit with a friend I met on the beach. Unfortunately, I didn’t like the house or the location for the second winter lockdown, where I edited my memoir for the sixth time. I started an online Sensual Salon with a Tantric poet from Berlin: a speakeasy for sex-positive people to share experiences, vulnerability, and honesty. At the time, I was also on the teaching team for the UK Sexological Bodywork training in 2021.

“In spring, I moved to the Albanian riviera for three months. It was a revelation to be in an open country, and a time to enjoy living alone by the beach. From there I went back to Corfu for 90 days, before heading to Mexico for 90 days to work at a Tantra festival and live at the beach. I then lived in Oaxaca in an artist’s studio.

Read more: Reclaiming the rail. Why older people are interrailing and backpacking 

Living life on my terms

I’ve refused to let my attention be hijacked by the COVID narrative

“I’ve refused to let my attention be hijacked by the COVID narrative; I’ve ignored much of the news and just got on with creating what I wanted to create. I’ve lived life on my terms, which largely involved travelling when my 90-day visas ran out. And I’ve mostly been in the sunshine, learning to enjoy solitude.

“I’m becoming curious about living in intentional communities in the future. I’m currently here in a creative one in Colombia called Arte Sumapaz, as I would like to explore setting one up.”

Accepting losses

“The biggest loss is in the close friends I miss and the chances to be in relationship. While I am enjoying being single again and following my own path, I miss love, intimacy, kissing, being close.

I know my choices mean I’ll be something of a pleasure nomad for a while, so it’s hard to create something lasting

“I’ve had occasional erotic dalliances but as my body has changed and I discovered that sex is painful, then I’m wary. In the absence of a medical system to explore the prospect of HRT, my tantra and sex coach training mean that I can still have sensual choices in the moments of connection. I know my choices mean I’ll be something of a pleasure nomad for a while, so it’s hard to create something lasting. A brief foray into Tinder didn’t help.

“I’m in a sex positive community so emotionally-connected friendships – if not physical intimacy – has been a valuable constant. Although I’m alone, I rarely feel bereft. I’m flirting with polyamory knowing that when I’m back in the UK for the summer, there will be friends and former lovers that I can be intimate with, as well as new possibilities for love.”

Breaking even

“Financially, I’m just about breaking even with the rent, mentoring, and government grants of 2021. While there are no luxuries, I’m recognising that I’m in a fortunate position of living like a barefoot hippy while following ideas and impulses that – if I hadn’t broken out of the UK when I did – I’d have been a lot more vexed by restrictions.

“I haven’t touched a tax bracket in years which is a huge contrast to my successful corporate life. Letting go and becoming truly happy has a price, but when you make a living from teaching that involves touch, you’re unable to find the energy to create a new business beyond sex therapy and coaching.”

Appreciating the unknown

“Mentally, I’m mostly steady, though I have the occasional periods of homesickness, anxiety about the future, and regular outbreaks of ‘what the fuck am I doing with my life?’. Whenever I find myself in those natural moments of doubt, I acknowledge how grateful I am for my choices, the sunshine, and the freedom I’ve had in the last two years to live freely in beautiful places meeting like-minded people.

I know I need to go home at some point and do a bit of life admin, but for now, I’m enjoying Colombia and the discovery of a more beautiful world

“Having a spiritual practice, however patchy, allows me to feel a trust in this transition. I have no answers or certainty about the future, but the chance to experience this uncertainty in new places allows me to understand how much I value feeling safe, loved, and free.

“I know I need to go home at some point and do a bit of life admin, but for now, I’m enjoying Colombia and the discovery of a more beautiful world and myself; three years ago, I wouldn’t have imagined this was possible.”

Are you thinking of travelling abroad this year, or are you going play it safe with a staycation? Here’s our top tips for staycationing safely.

Carly Pepperell

Carly gets to do everything under the sun, including writing, editing, taking photos, creating stories, and swanning around at launches. She can down a glass of Prosecco without pausing for breath, and aims to be the youngest Pulitzer winner ever.

The post I’m over fifty and finally living life on my own terms appeared first on Silver Magazine.

We went along to see it at Brighton’s Theatre Royal, and our hands were red from the applause by the end. The play, the cast, and the fantastic breaking down of age barriers made for a riveting evening. Here’s our Private Lives review…

Breaking expectations

Patricia Hodge as Amanda and Nigel Havers as Elyot

If you’re looking for someone well-versed in Noel Coward’s fanatical plot to critique an adaptation, you’re in quite the wrong place. I honestly had no idea what to expect, though I didn’t imagine I’d laugh quite as much as I did. I was so pleasantly surprised with how well everything and everyone worked together.

We all love a middle-class comedy drama – Absolutely Fabulous is a household gem – but I did have a moment of ‘will this been an archaic, droll take on an overdone storyline?’ The answer, it turns out, is no. Thankfully, my suspicions were incorrect. From the physical design of the set to the absolutely incredible vocal notes from Patricia Hodge, the two hours spent watching this adaptation could not have been better spent.

Patricia Hodge as Amanda and Nigel Havers as Elyot

Despite being written almost a century ago, I found the sentiments of the storyline quite relatable to the modern era; it was ahead of its time. This adaptation cancelled out any of the potential risks of mediocrity or monotony that sometimes come with aged works of art. It was quite conceivable that this story could have been written recently.

The plotline was sometimes predictable, and it wasn’t completely unique, but it was a solid story that stuck to what it knew, and gave us more than we expected. There’s nothing quite as bad as going to see a film or TV show that has tried to out-perform every other member of its genre, and in doing so has lost all sense of what it set out to do.

Age is but a number

Dugald Bruce-Lockhart as Victor and Natalie Walter as Sibyl

The playing around of stereotypes made the storyline enjoyable, and the actors were so well cast. They played up to their character’s comedic tropes – the misogynist, the insecure new woman – in a way that allowed us to laugh at the people these tropes represent, rather than the perceived victims of the jokes.

In fact, the female characters were much more likeable than they are usually represented in these sorts of stories – generally shrill and scornful, unable to have a good time – and the strength in the portrayal of these characters made for enjoyable watching as the drama unfolded. It was hard to decide on a ‘villain’ and hate any of them; though Havers’ character was the playboy pig, the charm that Havers brought to the role made for unwitting likeability.

The cast played their parts so well, it seems foolish to imagine anyone else in these roles. Some talk online suggested that perhaps the cast could have been younger, but I heartily disagree. The cast members’ ages added a certain wisdom and authenticity to the roles that I just don’t think would have been present otherwise.

Patricia Hodge as Amanda and Nigel Havers as Elyot

The credibility these actors brought to the play made it relatable and original, which only adds to the humour of realising your ex-spouse is honeymooning with their new spouse in the hotel room next to yours.

While the first act laid the groundwork, the second act brought the drama. The bickering was so highly amusing, and the reactions that certain scenes got from the audience made it almost seem scripted. The unanimous gasp at the blatant sexism, the squeal of delight at a slap, the rambunctious chuckling… To be united as one laughing at a fantastically created production was the chicken soup for the soul we needed after the past two years.

Check the tour dates and locations here.

Carly Pepperell

Carly gets to do everything under the sun, including writing, editing, taking photos, creating stories, and swanning around at launches. She can down a glass of Prosecco without pausing for breath, and aims to be the youngest Pulitzer winner ever.

The post Noel Coward’s Private Lives: a review appeared first on Silver Magazine.

…THE NAKED TRUTH. OK Boomer, let’s find out exactly what you and Generation X are REALLY like…

The last fifty years have seen a seismic shift in our social patterns and behaviours. There’s been enormous development in technology, medicine, and wellbeing. We’ve walked on the moon, burnt bras, dropped acid, and danced all night. We’ve embraced punk and spiritualism in equal measures. Travelled the world, fought the winter of discontent and the poll tax, and so much more.

We asked you about absolutely everything, from sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll to religion, money, and family, and everything in between

When I was in my late 40s, I started to look at magazines that were aimed at my age group and beyond, and I was dismayed. How could we be so misunderstood? I couldn’t relate to the gentle (or genteel) content I understood was now apparently my destiny. I can’t knit to save my life, I don’t like cakes, and I still go to festivals. Where was my tribe?

It seems I was not alone, thank goodness. Mature people say they are patronised in the media and on television; they feel invisible, unseen. So I decided that someone should do something about it. And, well, if you want a job doing etc…

So we launched Silver.

From the get-go I knew we needed to understand our readers. And there’s only one way to do this – we asked you. We asked you about absolutely everything, from sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll to religion, money, and family, and everything in between. It was a massive survey, we asked upwards of 10,000 people to answer hundreds of questions. And my word, you came through. So here you are in all your glory. The naked truth…

THE SURVEY

We wanted to cover every aspect of people’s lives, but quickly found the survey became too long, so we broke it down into four parts. Nobody was going to make it to the end alive otherwise. The respondents were brilliant though; they completed around 95% of the whole four parts, with only a few questions skipped.

Pretty much each question ran ‘tick all that apply’. So if you’re reading the results and the various options come to more than 100%, that’s why.

SO WHO ARE YOU?

The majority of respondents (81%) were aged 50-69, with the biggest chunk aged 60-64. You’re mostly White British (81%) with the balance being from multiple other ethnicities, such as African Black, British Black and Asian, mixed race etc. This ethnic split represents the UK national average, or thereabouts. And as we pretty much expected, 78% of responders were female, with 20% being male, and 2% preferring not to say.

More than half of you have no religion. The highest score for those who were religious was for Christian denominations (33%), although in the ‘Other’ box there were quite a few who named spiritualism as a path. No Jedis apparently.

You’re largely a Conservative bunch, with blues taking 34% of the votes here. Labour second with 18%, Lib Dems at 14%, Greens 10% and SNP 4%. A further 20% of respondents felt unrepresented or preferred not to say.

AGEING AND AGEISM

Photo: Erika Szostak

We were thrilled at how positive the responses in this section were. A giant 70% of you are happy with the wisdom that age brings and following closely behind this is ‘being grateful to be here’, at 62%. More than half of you (52%) said that you’ve improved with age, and whilst there are a fair few people who are exhausted, 51% said they were excited to keep learning new things. And gratifyingly, nobody ticked the ‘I wish I was dead’ box.

Unfortunately, whilst you lot are mostly happy with your age, it seems like the rest of the world is still to catch up, as ageism is alive and kicking. At work and whilst job hunting were the main areas of concern, but every option received some votes, with respondents reporting ageism whilst shopping, in politics, within the family, and in social situations.

A few comments identified key issues – one respondent had been told they were too old for a mortgage, and another said they were fed up with receiving emails or marketing that was patronising, “… as if you get stupid as you age.”

YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS

Again, it’s a pretty upbeat outlook here. 15% of you have either met or exceeded your hopes and dreams, and a whopping 69% are mostly happy with life. ‘I have new goals, my priorities have changed’ drew a 58% result, and 24% said that although they hadn’t met their goals and dreams yet, they were still working on it. A contented 15% said though they hadn’t hit their life targets, they were ok with that and happy with their lot. 34% said that they were excited for their next adventure.

Only 6% said they hadn’t met their goals or dreams and were sad or angry about that, and just 2% of you said you’re not happy with your life.

FAMILY LIFE

A positive 45% of you said you felt valued as an elder in your family, and the same percentage said you had a happy family. It was encouraging to see just 5% reporting feeling overlooked or neglected, although that’s still 5%.

One respondent put it, “I am often expected to be the responsible one, but at the same time, my children and siblings don’t take any interest in my life.” And the same percentage (5%) said that their family was unhappy, with lots of drama. 20% of you with adult children said they were still living at home, bearing out our understanding that often, big kids just can’t afford to move out anymore.

Although lots of you have no pets, we are a nation of dog lovers – it’s official – with dogs drubbing cats 33% to 22%.

COSMETIC SURGERY

When it comes to aesthetics and cosmetic surgery, most of you (60%) haven’t had any work done, but unsurprisingly, most common is Botox and/or fillers. A small percentage (2%) had braved an actual facelift, but higher on the list were chemical peels and dental work.

Nearly 20% of respondents said they’d like to try some things but couldn’t afford them – and in the comments they drilled down further to specifics; bingo wings were a concern, breast surgery, scar removal, and hair removal/implants featured.

Photo: Erika Szostak

TRAVEL AND HOLIDAYS

When it comes to holidays, the majority of you head for a break once a year. Around a quarter of you have two holidays a year, and a meaty 10% go for three or more!

A staggering 100% of you take holidays in the UK. We’re not sure if that’s as a result of the pandemic or just a love of UKations. A bit of both perhaps. You like to travel with partners, with friends, and with family; you’re a sociable lot. Really interestingly, the option of leaping on a plane and working it all out when you get there (38%) beats package holidays (28%) and even the all-inclusive (33%).

Rail trips are popular, with standard rail and upmarket options like the Orient Express gathering a collective 25% of you, but cruises were surprisingly low at around 15%, easily beaten by coach trips, caravans and motorhomes, and even camping. Perhaps everyone is still a bit nervous of cruises?

TECH

You’re a tech-loving lot. 95% of you have a smartphone, over half of you have other mobile devices, and 32% love new gadgets. Tech in the home and the car is popular – which includes TVs, laptops, gaming consoles etc, and not one person ticked the ‘I hate tech’ box.

Most of you have no home adaptations, but interestingly, the two biggest hitters in the Homes section were CCTV and security systems.

MUSIC

Music is huge, with every single type of music getting votes. Rock, 70s, and 80s making the biggest numbers, but other notables were indie, 60s, classical, vintage, and jazz. Also house/dance music made a good show. Least favourite was folk music with just 10%, despite, as the great Louis Armstrong said: “All music is folk music. I ain’t never heard a horse sing a song.”

For live music, pub gigs and arena gigs are the most popular, and festivals are the third favourite option, with over a third of you still pulling on your sparkly wellies. Jazz clubs are also pretty popular, with just under 20% of you ticking this box.

Consuming music, and we’re back in the tech zone, with only 15% of you enjoying music on a traditional hi-fi. Spotify is the most popular channel, at 55%, just pipping radio at 50%. And how you listen to music is also techy – phone/headphones, laptop, Bluetooth speakers are all equally popular – and in the comments, Amazon Prime, Alexa, Sonos, internet radio and iPads all got a mention.

Both vinyl (20%) and CDs (30%) were still relatively popular though, with the CDs outperforming iTunes at 25%. Cassettes got a zero!

ENTERTAINMENT

Photo: Erika Szostak

When it comes to heading out, eating out is top of the list with 85% of you loving being fed. You also love to explore the UK – train trips, walking, visiting beaches, and sightseeing all got special mentions in the comments.

The biggies are museums, art galleries, National Trust venues and gardens, train trips, and visiting stately homes. Sporting events like football or rugby were lower down the list at around 10-15%, but that’s probably because of our female/male ratio of respondents.

Volunteering is on your list too, with most of you giving back to communities in the way of charity events, sponsored events, animal charities, and volunteering with vulnerable groups and people. The most popular option here was community gardening projects, at around 28%.

SOCIAL MEDIA

You love social media. Top of the list with 95% is WhatsApp, and Facebook second at 86%. An honestly surprising third place goes to YouTube, with 81% of you. Something we’d definitely like to look into more – are you watching music? Are you watching films and documentaries, or following influencers and bloggers? We shall explore further.

Of the other biggies, Instagram is next, with 57% of you using it, and Twitter comes in at 38%. Not one tick for TikTok.

The majority of you spend quite a lot of time online; more of you find content because you’re actually looking for it than because someone else has shared it. And about half of you read a news channel every day, with almost all of you choosing the BBC as your preferred option.

COMMUNICATION

90% of you like to text, but an encouraging 86% also still love meeting up in person. Phone calls beat video calls 67% to 43% – although the high number of video calls would seem from comments to be something new since lockdown; but an interesting quarter of you don’t like talking on the phone at all.

TV, RADIO, GAMING

No massive surprises here – drama, films, box sets, news, streaming services like Netflix etc – all popular. 20% of you are still making it out to the flicks. 5% don’t watch TV at all.

When it comes to radio, 80% are tuning in, but an interesting 35% are now into listening to podcasts, citing ‘chit-chat’ as something they like. Comedy takes top billing here, at 55%, but drama, plays, science, and news all popular. Quizzes got a special mention in the comments a couple of times. Overall radio and podcasts are alive and kicking.

Not massively popular, gaming. 35% of you are happy to play games on your phones but wouldn’t sit at a desk or monitor to play something more committed. 50% of you actively rejected gaming. We had one lovely commenter who said they had a favourite game, which was Lexulous (a crossword game) and we wondered if responders were thinking things like World of Warcraft or GTA as ‘gaming’, rather than quizzes or Scrabble or so on.

HOBBIES AND CRAFTS

Unsurprisingly plenty of you love crafting and hobbies, apparently unless it’s model building, playing an instrument, stamp collecting, or train spotting!

There were so many choices I’ll just pick out some of the notable results: top of the list at 67% was reading books in print; then walking/rambling (57%); surprisingly, cookery was next at 53%; making art such as painting, drawing, and sculpture was then joint with reading books on a device, both at 43%; and crafts such as knitting, crochet etc were around the same as dancing, wine tasting and gardening. And I’ve got to tell you this – we had one dogger. If you don’t know what that is, google it, but brace yourself.

FASHION

When it comes to brands, around 40% said they don’t care about fancy brands, and the biggest box ticked was the ‘mixed bag’ at 50%; the bag being a mixture of high end, cheap and cheerful, and second-hand.

You love to get dressed up, but prefer a reason for doing so, like a lunch, or special outing. When you’re at home it’s comfy clothes, but 10% of you never leave the house without looking immaculate. When it comes to choosing clothing and jewellery, you definitely look for quality. Aside from all the glamourous lot though, there’s about 27% of you who just don’t give a fig about this sort of thing anymore.

SEX AND SEXUALITY

Photo: Erika Szostak

Surveys can often throw out surprising outcomes and this one is no exception; 91% of respondents selected ‘straight’ for sexual orientation. 5% are bisexual, 4% are asexual, 2% chose ‘other’… but nobody ticked ‘gay’.

However, a not insignificant 17.5% skipped this question, which has intrigued us, especially as respondents had the option of ticking the ‘none of your damn business’ box but nobody did.

Are there gay people who have been traumatized by homophobic abuse or a lack of acceptance and still feel under threat? More research is required here, and in the meantime, we are committed to including powerful gay voices in Silver.

We’ve got 64% who masturbate, and 38% describing themselves as ‘sexually adventurous’. Almost a quarter of you use sex toys (23%) or porn (22%) either during masturbation or with a partner, 11% have tried or continue to partake in BDSM activities and enjoy it, while 5.66% gave BDSM a go but didn’t like it.

11% of you have tried sex parties or orgies, while 4% are active swingers. Engagine with sex workers is low on the agenda, with just under 2% having seen a sex worker in the past, and nobody saying they currently see one.

RELATIONSHIPS

Around 80% of you are in some kind of monogamous relationship. None of our respondents identify as being polyamorous, or in an open or kinky lifestyle relationship, but 2% have a casual ‘friends-with-benefits’ arrangement. When one includes the sex responses above, it’s clear there are a lot of couples still very active and adventurous in bed. Although perhaps not even in the actual bed, by the sounds of it! You frisky lot.

SEXUAL ASSAULT

As ever, the figures on sexual assault make difficult reading. Nearly half of you have experienced some kind of sexual abuse or assault. 35% have been raped or subjected to sexual abuse by someone known to them, and 17% have experienced this at the hands of a stranger.

Just over half (51%) said there should be more conversation about these issues, although 10% say they still feel awkward talking about it with family and friends. About a quarter of you (22%) believe we are finally talking enough. Only 2% think we talk too much about sexual assault and domestic violence, and 4% take what is probably a fringe view these days, which is that it’s a private matter that should stay private.

MENOPAUSE

Plenty of people (40%) think that menopause issues should be discussed more openly. A further 29% think we have come a long way, but there is still a way to go.

There is an entirely expected range of responses to the question about how the menopause is going/how it went. 38% say that it’s not the best but it isn’t the worst either, 19% said it was better than they thought it would be, 8% said it didn’t affect them that much, and 12% are really suffering, saying they couldn’t or cannot cope, and the experience was, or is, ‘awful’.

Photo: Erika Szostak

So how is everyone coping? HRT is the most popular at 34%, followed by exercise (23%), natural supplements (17%), lifestyle changes such as quitting smoking or cutting out the booze (17%), taking antidepressants (12%), and diet change (13%).

Then we asked the men about their experiences of living with menopausal women. A whopping 82% said this question was not applicable to them. Thankfully none of them said they didn’t care because it was ‘her problem’, and over half were sympathetic and supportive. 2% said the menopause had changed the dynamic of the relationship and their lives quite a bit.

EXERCISE

Among the responses, there were cyclists, skateboarders and rollerskaters, snowboarders, skiers and climbers, and Zumba fans. But by far the most popular form of exercise at 43% was dog-walking.

We also have plenty of gym junkies, and yoga and Pilate’s devotees (26%). Nobody ticked the ‘marathon/distance running’ box, which surprised us. And in the comments section, we had plenty of people pipe up with the activities that we missed on the (already long!) list of options, such as canoeing, canyoning, trekking, rambling, hiking, serious gardening, Powerplate, wing chun, boxing, and, most excellently, ‘mosh pit at gigs’.

COVID

Nearly a quarter of you (24%) have had Covid, and 63% know someone who has had Covid. Of these, sadly, 18% died.

There isn’t much scepticism about vaccines or the effectiveness of lockdowns among our readers, with 86% having the vaccine. Only 2% have refused, and a small 4% don’t think Covid is as serious as most people think it is.

55% think Covid is more serious than most people think it is, and 45% are not sure if we should be going back to normal. Just 8% think restrictions should have been lifted months ago.

ALCOHOL

Next, we raise a glass of our preferred beverages. 43% still love a drink while 12% are teetotal and 4% count themselves as being in recovery. 37% describe themselves as ‘social drinkers’, and 29% say they drink rarely.

But a proportion of you do have concerns about your alcohol intake with 6% worried about their drinking and the behaviour that this can lead to, and 4% are concerned they might be an alcoholic.

RECREATIONAL DRUGS

14% of you smoke weed. Cocaine, a prolific powder for many of us in the 80s and 90s, is still taken by 8%, while 12% take amphetamines and 6% take hallucinogens.

Although 42% don’t do drugs at all now, 24% said they used to. One respondent gave us a detailed history: “I tried everything that was available before I cut out drink and weed in the early 2000s. I sometimes take edibles and have tried microdosing.”

Then there was this intriguing litany: “Not for many years, but largely MDMA/ecstasy, cocaine, hash, skunk, LSD, mushrooms, speed, opium – and a stint of recreational Voltarol.”

Voltarol?!

Photo: Erika Szostak

MENTAL HEALTH

Mental health has rightly become a more mainstream discussion, and this is reflected by the 59% who say they take mental health seriously. One respondent said they take mental health seriously but find it hard to take care of it. 8% identified as neurodivergent and the comments made it clear that more conversation is needed around this.

There’s a range of in-between attitudes to all mental health conditions, but 8% still say a stoic attitude and stiff upper lip is more beneficial for coping.

PHYSICAL HEALTH

Hearts, hearing, and mobility unsurprisingly feature high, but chronic fatigue – post-viral or otherwise – fibromyalgia, and mental health were all flagged up.

22% said they have a disability, which for the purposes of this survey includes hidden disabilities. In the comments, people shared their disabilities and health issues, which included Type 2 diabetes, thyroid conditions, depression, anxiety and chronic fatigue from cancer treatment, fibromyalgia, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure.

Stereotypes about terrible British teeth may be overstated with 71% of people taking good care of their teeth, although 22% can’t remember when they last saw a dentist.

Eyesight is important to most of you, with 78% going to the optician regularly, although 10% have been wearing the same specs for a decade!

TREATMENTS AND THERAPIES

Nearly half of you like some quality salon time with 47% enjoying treatments such as manicures, pedicures, and trips to the hairdresser, while 41% are soap-and-water kinda people with occasional treats. When it comes to self-care, 33% like to spoil themselves with nice products, 20% can’t be bothered, and, somewhat depressingly, 4% don’t think they deserve nice things.

Our survey found massage to be the most popular alternative therapy at 51%. Meditation came in second at 46%. Outliers in the survey included psychedelics/microdosing, touch therapy, and eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR).

“I have seen osteopaths and chiropractors in the past with good effect. Acupuncture and EMDR were less useful, but I used EMDR to good effect via YouTube when my dog died,” said one responder.

MENTAL HEALTH THERAPY

There’s a positive attitude here, reflected in the survey results with 76% of you having seen a therapist or counsellor in the past, 4.5% currently seeing a therapist or counsellor, and a further 4.5% planning to do so. However, the survey also found that 13.33% don’t believe in therapy.

RETIREMENT

Everyone wants to retire. Almost a third of you (31.6%) have retired and another 31.6% are planning to do so in the next five years. A further 21% have started thinking about their retirement. And we’re really feeling the 16% who wish they could retire.

MIDLIFE CRISIS

This section elicited the biggest response, with nearly half sure or thinking they’ve had a midlife crisis. And yes, there were flashy cars and expensive holiday homes.

But a very definite 52.63% told us they have not gone through a midlife crisis. That said, 32% called for it to be seen as a positive thing, and nearly half said it was not a joke.

The causes of a midlife crisis are many and varied. The main cause was the physical changes of ageing (83%), as well as not feeling attractive anymore (56%).

Children leaving the nest, not feeling fulfilled with life, not feeling relevant in the world, and/or not feeling content in a marriage or relationship are all factors. Looking back over one’s career is another cause, including not achieving career goals (28%), and almost the same number hating their job and simply wanting a change.

7% filed for divorce, sold things to fund a lifestyle change, found a new partner, or specifically started a relationship with a younger person. In the comments, both traveling and going out partying again was mentioned as a way of recapturing that feeling of youth.

There are optimists too, such as the person who “did get divorced in my early 50s and have been happier since”, the woman who became “a happier person” after divorcing her husband, and the cheerful soul who described this time as “not a crisis, a rediscovery of self”.

ARE YOU HAPPY?

When we asked this, we got a range of responses. It’s not all joy and optimism – 33.33% worry about the future, 17% feel anxious, and 11% feel like an imposter whose life is not the one they planned out for themselves. 11% are eager to get midlife over and done with, and 6% are either angry, depressed, or bored.

However, to end on a positive note, more than 80% of you are largely happy, with 39% looking forward to what the future brings.

Tl;dr

If this has been way too long to read, here’s a quick recap of the things that stood out.

• You’re largely a positive lot
• Most of you feel valued by your family
• You love tech
• YouTube is surprisingly popular
• You’re a sexy bunch
• Spiritualism is popular
• Mental and physical health is taken seriously
• Home security is important
• Over a third of you are embracing podcasts
• Midlife crises should be taken more seriously
• One of you enjoys dogging

Credits for the Naked Truth shoot

Photographer: Erika Szostak
Photography assistant: Matt Ryan
Hair and makeup: LoveYoHair
Models: Adrian Southby, Bella Kirkus, Lesley Burdett
Shot on location: Copperdollar Studios, Brighton

Sam Harrington-Lowe

Sam is Silver’s founder and editor-in-chief. She’s largely responsible for organising all the things, but still finds time to do the odd bit of writing. Not enough though. Send help.

The post The Naked Truth. What is Generation X really like? appeared first on Silver Magazine.

For those of you who don’t know me, I have a Great Idea probably twice a day. Some are Greater than others. Most of the team raised a quiet eyebrow but listened politely.

We were a fairly new business at the time, a small publishing house with a marketing agency side. At the time I was about 47, 48. And as someone interested in magazines, I’d started to look around at magazines specifically targeted at the 50+ age group.

Honestly, at the time, it was pretty dismal.

Things are improved now, but the obvious magazine for the ‘mature market’ was quite grim. And I looked at some of the other newsstand giants and was left cold by those too. As far as I could see, the content in the magazines bore very little relevance to my own life. And ‘bore’ was the operative word all round.

Not all over-50s are built the same

I was born in 1970 and grew up through a time of massive social change. I was formed during the rise of feminism, a child through the lingering permissiveness of the 60s. Men had landed on the moon. People turned on, tuned in, and dropped out. Punk came and went, as did the beautifully garish 80s and my floppy New Romantic fringe. We had Thatcher. Riots. Football violence. Then the Summer of Love, and the sensory tsunami that was dance music and ecstasy blew my world open.

Through all this I grew and absorbed. I was working in magazines when nascent emails and the world wide web started to take hold. The world was opening up before my very eyes, literally. I grabbed every opportunity that life sent my way and I have – so far – had an extraordinary time. And I’m not even close to being finished with it.

So I looked at these magazines, and I looked at me and my friends, and I realised there was a big old gap. As the kids say, WTF?

So my Great Idea was to have a magazine for my age group that actually reflected our lives.

Time to change perceptions

One of the younger members of my team looked horrified. He was about 24 at the time. “I’m not writing stuff for old people,” he said, aghast. And in that moment I knew this was why we had to make Silver.

It was bloody well time to change perceptions – there are more adults over 45 in the UK than any other age group. We run the world, have the most money, live increasingly longer lives, and have backgrounds rich in experience and wisdom. And yet we’re looked at disparagingly.

I’m not an idiot. I know that young is fun, and it’s excellent to be sexy and attractive. But so much of that side does the heavy lifting. Being young is also really crap. My mental health was shot to bits, I was insecure, unstable, often angry, often broke. My knees might be a bit crunchy now but I am so, so much happier these days.

Celebrating life

So it became a bit of a personal crusade, to create a magazine and platform where older people could find themselves, and find they’re still cool. A place to celebrate. But also a place without judgement.

Since I started to shout about this, lots of other people have started to step forward, and I have seen perceptions change massively in the last few years.

Silver Magazine in print has been put back a number of times, for different reasons. Some have been my own personal tragedies. Some more obvious, like Covid. But we steadily built an amazing, engaged, and very lovely audience via our website, and especially Facebook, and this week saw my dream realised.

Silver Magazine is finally in print. It has been a long time coming, and I am both grateful and astonished at how patient people have been, and how amazing my team have been. But it’s here, and I’m very happy with it. I hope you enjoy it too.

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#LifeBeginsAt50

Sam Harrington-Lowe

Sam is Silver’s founder and editor-in-chief. She’s largely responsible for organising all the things, but still finds time to do the odd bit of writing. Not enough though. Send help.

The post Silver Magazine in print. How my dream finally came true appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Is 50 the new 30? Or even 40? I don’t think so. Nor do I think silver is the new black, whatever the hell that means.

If you’d asked me a few years ago what age I’d choose to be if I could go back, I’d have probably picked 25, or thereabouts. Old enough to be past the angst of teenagehood, young enough to have my whole life ahead of me. And a great body.

But realistically, looking at 25 year old me, I was a complete mess. It was the mid-90s and I was a club reporter for a magazine. My life was nocturnal – I regularly lurched from nightclub to dawn, and slept through most days – my life was disordered, chaotic. Immersed deeply in the rave culture and everything that goes with it, my actual life was fun, but pretty unhealthy.

I look back at that me now, and the very thought of it makes me exhausted. Frankly I’m astonished I’m even alive

I was a size 8, not through healthy eating and exercise (although I did a lot of dancing) but that cavalier attitude towards life and our bodies that only the young can sustain. If I wasn’t roaring about the countryside chasing an illegal party I was routinely gingerly trying to eat a Pot Noodle without throwing up, before pulling on my trusty Buffalo trainers and doing it all over again. I lived on cans of Nurishment and bags of Hula Hoops for about three years.

My personal life, unsurprisingly, was also a mess. Serotonin in flux aligned with an unstable life and a desire for danger and excitement led me repeatedly into unsuitable loves and scrapes, and this added to my rollercoaster existence. It was the best of times, and the worst of times. I look back at that me now, and the very thought of it makes me exhausted. Frankly I’m astonished I’m even alive. I’m rethinking my ‘ideal age’.

What is the best age to be then?

My glamorous grandmother – whose daily toilette would take around three hours – used to muse out loud whilst I sat watching her elaborate routine, waiting to go rollerskating, agonisingly impatient through the makeup, the removal of curlers, the backcombing and spraying, the relentless chainsmoking. And her favourite musings were about the best times in her life.

I’m 51 now and I can’t help feeling that the best is yet to come

She’d led a charmed life; one of the beautiful people, she’d taken lovers through the war and then revived her marriage, spent time modeling in Paris, travelled to exotic locations like Istanbul when travel was still very much a luxury. And she always said if she could be any age again it would be 40. “Old enough to know better, young enough to still have fun,” she used to say.

15 year old me couldn’t understand that at all, but I get it now. I think it helped that by their 40s my grandfather had made a few quid, so life was pretty cushy. She’d never had to work or worry. But as we age more slowly and live longer now, I’m reckoning on her 40 being equivalent to today’s 50-55. I’m 51 now, and I can’t help feeling that the best is yet to come.

Really?

OK – so let’s be clear. Heading into your late 40s is not entirely a bag of fun. There’s perimenopause to wrangle with, and big changes to your body. It just changes, there’s no two ways. There’s the realisation that you’re not going to be 40-something any more, and late nights are tougher, and there’s things like bingo wings and unshiftable spare tyres and crow’s feet, and other general shite that wasn’t there before.

But actually, that stuff is mostly skin deep, and to a large extent, fixable. Emotionally though, it’s quite hard to let go of being young, and accepting it’s likely that most of your life is behind you, not in front. That is quite weird. It’s also the time of your life where friends start to die. Not in droves, but cancer gets a few, and other illnesses take their toll. You begin to realise you’re not immortal.

On a positive note, it lends a sense of urgency to doing things you’ve put off, and finishing things you’ve started. It also makes you deeply grateful for the fact that you’re still here. As a million memes attest to, ageing is a gift not everyone gets to enjoy.

So what exactly is so good about being 50?

Firstly, it’s about the reduction of fucks one gives. The utter joy of not caring about stuff is one of the most thrilling developments of my life so far. I don’t mean important things, but the small stuff. Such joy to realise that it doesn’t matter, and let it go.

You also realise – once you accept that the first flourish of your youth and beauty has gone – that actually, it’s quite hard work keeping up with that too. You know what suits you and you stop worrying about it, and you lose a lot of unwanted attention. There’s a huge sense of relief in not being part of that rat race.

I like myself more, and I choose my friends more carefully (oh the joy of not having to pretend to like someone!)

You also largely stop worrying about what other people think about you, and you do what the hell you like. I have spent much of my life in this space anyway, but I understand for others it’s something of a renaissance. It’s very freeing.

Speaking personally, I like myself more, and I choose my friends more carefully (oh the joy of not having to pretend to like someone!). I feel happier in my own skin, even if it’s not as pert as it used to be, and I laugh more easily. I am better company; I am kinder, softer. That hard, combative edge that used to make me challenging to spend time with, I think, is blunted, and I’m better for it.

Along with being kinder, however, comes the wisdom and the grace to say no to things more often –an act of being kind to oneself. Particularly over doing crap that you’re supposed to like but secretly hate. Yay for that! Bugger FOMO, I’m all for the JOMO. It’s also a great way to stop feeling resentful too.

So is 50 the new 30?

No, it’s better. People talk about 50 being the new 30 – I don’t subscribe to that. Maybe there are parallels in terms of what is deemed acceptable behaviour, but the experience and wisdom that comes with living for 50 years can’t be crammed into 30. It just can’t.

I pity the 30-year olds. Life was so much harder at that age, fumbling my way through life

That’s why 50 is better. Not only do we still get to act like young ‘uns if we want now, we have wisdom and life experience on our side. We can do all the things now that you can when you’re 30 – take a gap year or five, launch a business, sleep around, have kids even if you must – but we do it with a bit more nous.

I pity the 30-year olds. Life was so much harder at that age, fumbling my way through life, trying to be a parent and career woman and try to strap on a social life, and pretend to have it all when inside, you’re actually bewildered and exhausted.

And being 50 means fewer people argue with you too, because you’re older and you won’t stand for it, you have authority. How is that ever going to be a bad thing?! On the flip side, you can actually also become an elder, someone who hands down experience and wisdom – if asked – passing on the baton with love.

As for embracing being 50…

When I was approaching my 40th birthday I thought I was fine about it. But I wasn’t. It turned out days before the big date that I actually hated the whole idea of leaving my 30s and I hid away at home, had a takeaway with The Boyfriend and cried. But by the time I was 41 I’d got over myself and had an absolute humdinger of a party with champagne, casino tables and cocaine. A Rabelaisian orgy to be proud of.

I’m going to make it a tradition and have a 51st party, go crackers next year. Hitting 50 feels like a rite of passage though and I think David Bowie summed it up perfectly.

“Ageing is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been.”

Amen to that.

Main photo: Erika Szostak

Sam Harrington-Lowe

Sam is Silver’s founder and editor-in-chief. She’s largely responsible for organising all the things, but still finds time to do the odd bit of writing. Not enough though. Send help.

The post No, 50 is not ‘the new 30’. It’s better than that appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Right chaps! What is this nonsense about men and midlife crisis? We see a lot of stuff in magazines and online about women and how it’s fine to grow old disgracefully and wear what the hell you want and speak your mind and generally be STRONG, and I’m behind that 100%. Just getting that out there right now, before you all sharpen your pencils.

In fact I’m behind that whatever age you are, frankly. Go sisters, I’m right there in that corner. Do what the hell you like.

BUT what about us poor fellows?!

When we hit a ‘certain age’ and want to go all crazy we get accused of having a midlife crisis. Where is our support network? Where are the comments I want to read like ‘Hey boyfriend, you do your thing and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise because you’re an absolute king’? We can be Instagram stars and live our best lives after 50 too, you know.

Joking aside, there really is a bit of a tilt here. A quick search of the web this morning and the phrase ‘signs of a midlife crisis’ turns out a ton of lists that basically take the piss out of us chaps.

And yet when I suggest that it’s ‘my time’… I’m having a midlife crisis. “Why don’t you get a motorbike and dye what’s left of your hair pink?” guffawed one of my best mates.

As I’ve got older (64, since you ask) I’ve found – much in the same way I see women defiantly claiming – that I feel more ‘myself’. I have more self-confidence, I am less worried about the small stuff. I speak my mind, I am kinder to other people. Amazingly, I am solvent and free to do as I please, within reason. I try and help causes, and I have raised three amazing children who all now have their own lives. And have left the nest reasonably happy and able to fly. I’ve hung on to an amazing wife who never stabbed me or anything. I’ve done OK.

But it’s okay for women?

And yet when I suggest that it’s ‘my time’ and maybe I’ll do some new stuff, my wife and family – and my friends – all laugh at me and tell me I’m having a midlife crisis. “Why don’t you get a motorbike and dye what’s left of your hair pink?” guffawed one of my best mates.

Well – why not indeed? The bike – well who wouldn’t want to throw caution to the winds and head out on the highway? I don’t have a great deal of hair, and I’m not convinced pink would suit my colouring. But dammit, shouldn’t I be able to do that if I wanted to?

How to spot a ‘midlife crisis’

Signs to look out for (apparently) include going vegan, signing up for sporting challenges, reaching out to old lovers, reaching out to MUCH younger new lovers, buying a toupee, getting a tattoo, buying expensive toys like Lamborghinis (if only), learning to play an instrument or joining a band, taking up an extreme sport, going to Glastonbury… you get the picture.

I’ve sacrificed a whole ton of dreams to support my family – whom I love without reservation. But the truth is that there is a huge list of things I didn’t do, because I put them first

So explain to me why any of these are bad ideas. All these things sound like fun to me (no, not the lovers, for the benefit of my wife who is probably reading this). But really – aren’t a lot of these the things most of us would always kinda like to be doing, but during your child-rearing or career years didn’t have the time or the money to do? That’s certainly been my experience.

It’s my time!

I’ve sacrificed a whole ton of dreams to support my family – whom I love without reservation and have absolutely no regrets about doing so for them. But the honest truth is that there is a huge list of things I didn’t do, because I put them first. On the one hand, I’m proud of that. On the other – well, now that’s not my primary function, isn’t it time for me? Just a bit?

In the interests of even-handedness I should probably identify that men having a midlife crisis often do so as as a result of something happening to them. And of course they’re not just for men.

Bereavement is right up there for turning your life upside down; empty nest syndrome, illness, retirement, depression, fear of mortality, partners leaving, the weight of caring for elderly parents, loss of jobs – all these thing and more can really knock one sideways, and the ‘crisis’ is often simply nothing more than a coping mechanism.

In those situations, surely it’s sympathy not ridicule that is needed. Jeez, whatever gets you through the dark days, hey? If this is you, by the way, maybe look for some kind, professional help with whatever darkness you’re coping with – and if this is someone you know… well, stop laughing at them.

But what about the reasonably-happy-but-slightly-bored-and-restless blokes like me? Surely we should be allowed to grasp the nettle?!

If I’m going to have a Midlife Revival I want it to rock with its cock out. God love us, we are not here for very long

Some of the ‘signs you’re having a midlife crisis’ items I’ve seen on various lists are just stupid. A piece in The Telegraph suggests concerns like ‘only reading books when you are on holiday’ or ‘taking out a direct debit to donate to a charity’ are an indication.

Sorry, but what sort of crisis is this?! It sounds to me like the same sort of crisis I might have on a wet Sunday afternoon with nothing to do except watch the rain trickle down the window and be trying to decide whether to wipe the window sill or not.

If you’re going to do a thing, do it properly

If I’m going to have a Midlife Revival (and it’s time we stopped referring to it as a crisis) I want it to rock with its cock out. God love us, we are not here for very long. If you’ve hit 60 and there is a long list of stuff you want to do, you should bloody well start planning it. Now.

So here’s my Midlife Revival list. I’m planning to try and tick off as many of these as I can in the next ten years, if I’m lucky enough to live that long.

MIDLIFE REVIVAL LIST – 11 THINGS TO DO WHILST I STILL CAN

1. Get to Glastonbury again. If I really put the effort into it, I would absolutely love to do Burning Man.
2. Pick up my guitar. I’ve got some other friends who used to be in bands and I’m totally into a ‘dad band’ and doing some local pub gigs if I can persuade some of the others. I will force my kids to come.
3. Do a class that’s normally seen as ‘female’ such as a pottery group or maybe even a cookery class. I’m not much cop in the kitchen – I’d love to be able to make some amazing dinners for my missus.
4. Do Route 66. I know, I know. This has to be one of those right up there on the MLC lists. But I want to do it.
5. Read more books. As in, put down the smartphone and pick up something made of paper and print, and immerse myself in other worlds.
6. I have to face it – the receding hairline is now beyond help. So it’s a short clip for me next week – I’m going to buzz it all off, down to a No2 or so. BUT I’m also going to explore wearing dapper hats, and more caps.
7. And talking of dapper – my adult life has largely been spent rushing around working or parenting. I would dearly love to try dressing in a more sartorial way. I’d like to get a couple of proper suits made, and try to dress formally at least once a week like an adult. And use a silver-topped cane.
8. Take better care of my physical health. I’m not about to sign up for a Tough Mudder, but I could eat better, take some vits, do more exercise. I’ll feel better too.
9. Give up alcohol.
10. Just kidding about that last one. But try to drink more discerningly, talk less bollocks, and learn more about wine. Start to build a wine cellar.
11. Give something back. Not quite sure how. But I’m sure I could put my years of experience and my freer time to good use, doing something for other people. So that’s on the list. It’s at the top really, it was just more fun to blaze straight in with the festivals.

Use the hashtag on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram to tell us more about your own midlife renaissances and revivals. Men of the world, unite for your right to parrrrrrrtttttaaaay.

#midliferevival

Men’s Health Week

Adam Archway

The post Men! It’s not a midlife crisis. It’s a midlife revival appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Born in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, and now living in West Sussex, Graham Minett spent almost 45 years working in secondary education, most recently as part of the headship team at The Angmering School, where he worked for 25 years. Latterly working in a part-time role for the school, he was able to develop his writing alongside teaching, and a new career in fiction-writing was born. After his first two novels were well received, a couple of years ago he said goodbye to education for good, and became a full-time novelist. We wondered just how terrifying that might have been…

“Writing was something I’d wanted to do all my life, but other important considerations – relationships, raising a family, work, sport – got in the way. Then, in 2006, I decided to do a two-year part-time MA in Creative Writing at The University of Chichester.

“It was an expensive decision. I also had no guarantees that even gaining the MA would enable me to find an agent and a publisher for my work because, good as the course is, the number who make the breakthrough remains a relatively small percentage. I felt from very early on, however, that it was just what I needed.

“Being a mature student was an issue only for me. No one else was bothered by it – in fact, there were a few people on the course who were either the same age as I was, or not much younger, although most were in their twenties or thirties. I’d say it took me a few weeks to adjust and feel totally at home but there was never any suggestion from anyone that my age was necessarily a factor.

[perfectpullquote align=”left” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]”I found myself with an opening chapter that was clearly very effective, but no idea what the rest of the storyline might be!”[/perfectpullquote]

“After the course, I won a national competition for opening chapters of a novel with a piece I’d created as part of my MA for one of the assessed modules. The first prize, apart from a cash award, was a chance to work online with an editor in London to finish the novel – which is what would eventually become my debut novel, The Hidden Legacy.

So how did that become a book?

“I found myself with an opening chapter that was clearly very effective, but I had no idea what the rest of the storyline might be! I also had a strong female lead character in mind but the opening chapter was very much 1960s, whereas Ellen belonged quite clearly to the first decade of this century.

“The first task, therefore, was to come up with two storylines and a complex plot that would bring them both together. To do this I used a board, Post-its, postcards and drawing pins and mapped the whole thing out before I wrote another word. I knew not only exactly how many scenes there would be but also what each scene would do to move the action forward and also what it would reveal of Ellen’s character.

“When it was finished to the editor’s satisfaction, I sent the completed novel to an agent, along with a letter detailing the fact that I had done the MA and also won a national competition with the same opening chapter I was now sending to him. He phoned me as soon as he’d finished reading it and asked me to go to Oxford to discuss it with him. He had a contract there waiting for me, and I signed it before I left.

“He then recommended it to Mark Smith, head of UK fiction at Bonnier in Marylebone, who gave me a two-book deal, which has now been extended to two further books. The first two, The Hidden Legacy and Lie In Wait, have both been published in eBook and paperback format and sold far better than was expected from a debut author, both reaching a high Amazon ranking and earning ‘book of the month’ deals.

[perfectpullquote align=”left” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]”I still have to pinch myself when I see my books in airports and railway stations and in bookshops in town”[/perfectpullquote]

“The whole experience has been every bit as exciting as you might imagine. I still have to pinch myself at times when I see my books in airports and railway stations and in bookshops in town. I haven’t yet seen someone on a beach or on a train reading a copy of it but I’m looking forward to that moment when it comes.

“I’ve recently completed book four. I have no idea what the books will be about, but my storylines always start with a character. I always try to write the kind of novels I enjoy reading; something that treats the readers with a bit of intelligence, allowing them to work things through without spelling everything out and providing a central mystery that has layers that need to be peeled away.

“I just want to keep on writing, build up as big a loyal following as possible, maybe see one of my novels optioned for TV and sell a few foreign rights. Aside from that, if I could meet Maggie O’Farrell and Kate Atkinson and spend an evening talking to them about writing, that would be about as good as it gets.”

New Tricks
Graham’s top tips for starting something new

• Don’t let age be a barrier in any way. Most people are happy to judge you on what you do. More often than not ageism is in your own head rather than everyone else’s.
• Don’t allow the ‘older you’ to make you too cautious. Obviously use what you’ve learnt over the years but try to stay in touch with the 25-year-old ‘you’ who wasn’t afraid to take a risk or two.
• Whatever you move on to, make use of the massive network you’ve built up over the years. Social media is one thing I always swore I’d never go near but my publishers were right to insist that I get onto Twitter and Facebook and use both of them.

Find books by Graham Minett here

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The post Summer skin – insider tricks for making the most of your summer glow appeared first on Silver Magazine.