Often a complex and highly misunderstood disorder, addiction can affect any individual, no matter their age, gender, birthplace, or culture.

Because of this, addiction is known as a non-discriminatory disease.

Addiction also affects every individual differently, meaning that no two people will have the same experiences and effects of addiction as other people may experience.

However, some of these experiences and effects can be linked to other specific factors based on the way in which these factors may interact with addiction and its impact on an individual’s life.

There are both substance abuse addictions and behavioural addictions (i.e., to the internet, shopping, or gambling – all requiring rehab), but for the sake of this article, the majority of the focus will be on substance abuse and how this can impact an individual’s lifestyle.

Why can addiction be so much more dangerous the older you get?

Addiction is a vicious cycle, meaning that an individual can continuously begin to struggle with addiction, attempt to rehabilitate, fail, and return to substance consumption.

This can have serious and long-term consequences for an individual’s health – both physical and mental – which is why seeking help as soon as an individual is able to is the best way to minimise these effects.

An alcohol detox, for example, can be life-threatening in many cases if it is not properly managed, but these risks may only increase as an individual gets older.

In general, more research is needed into the long-term effects of addiction in older adults as most of the research is focussed on the younger generation.

However, it is important to note that much research into addiction in older individuals has found that some effects are only likely to develop later in life (1), requiring far more research and testing to truly find the extent of.

The stigma of addiction after 50

But why is there a gap in the research? To generalise, most of the information about addiction and the way it impacts an individual’s body is generally based on a younger population, including those aged 16 and above, but not often above 50.

This is often due to the perceived number of individuals in these age groups (i.e., young people are often portrayed in the media as ‘drug-fuelled’ and ‘junkies’) but does not mean that the older generation are not likely to have just as many issues as young people, if not more.

Generally, as individuals age, they are expected to mature, meaning that older adults who find themselves struggling with addiction are often more likely to experience increased feelings of embarrassment, guilt, and shame about their situation, rather than seeking support.

How can these individuals seek support?

However, where individuals are struggling with addiction, help and support is always available, no matter how young or old an individual may be.

Whether an individual requires structured and tailored rehabilitative practises, or if they just need a local support group to reach out to, help is always available, individuals just need to know where to look.

In general, the first stage of seeking support is to get into contact with your local health services i.e., your local general practitioner (GP) or doctors’ office, or by contacting a specialised rehab referral service.

Some of these services require approval/recommendation from a licensed medical professional, but getting information about the type of support available is free and widely available directly through these organisations’ websites.

Rehabilitation – what is it and how can it help?

Rehabilitation is the process of learning to live with addiction in the long-term while continuously treating its effects.

No one can be ‘cured’ of addiction, and many of the symptoms of a serious and long-term addiction can last years into the future, sometimes the remainder of an individual’s life.

However, by entering rehabilitation as soon as an individual is able, they will give themselves the best possible chance at making the best possible recovery programme they can, both in a dedicated rehab centre or as part of their own local support and home programmes.

The remainder of this article will highlight some of the key places which an individual can contact to get support for addiction today – speak to a medical professional before making any final decisions or signing up to any programmes.

1. Inpatient rehabilitation

As the most commonly recommended form of rehabilitation, inpatient rehab refers to any rehab programme that is participated in from within a dedicated or specialised rehab centre.

During rehab in these centres, individuals will stay on-site 24/7 (unless excursions or special exceptions are made) and partake in many different treatment programmes and therapies that are suited for them and their needs.

Individuals will have the option to reside in private or shared rooms most of the time, and some centres are specialised for specific demographics i.e., older adults, males, and females, for example.

Inpatient rehabilitation is often considered to be the most effective form of rehabilitation due to the around-the-clock care that individuals receive, as well as the specialised and specially designed services and facilities that these centres offer.

The best inpatient treatment programmes integrate mental health and a strong aftercare programme, ensuring that individuals are fully treated and that they receive support in the long-term (2).

2. Outpatient rehabilitation

As a more part-time alternative, outpatient rehabilitation occurs outside of a dedicated rehab centre, often making use of local community spaces, doctors’ offices, and other local areas for an individual’s treatment plan.

Though most of the same therapies and treatments are available from outpatient and inpatient treatment programmes, it is the frequency and sometimes tailor-ability of these services that makes the difference.

In general, most serious and long-term addictions would not be well-treated in outpatient care and these individuals should consider inpatient care. However, less serious and not physically dependent addictions (e.g., to cannabis, cocaine, etc.) may be able to consider outpatient rehab.

This should always be discussed and given the go-ahead by a medical professional.

3. Local health services

In the UK, the National Health Service (NHS) often provides suitable care for addiction and its associated issues.

However, this may not always be the most suitable. For example, these services often come with lengthy waiting lists (adding to the risks and dangers that an individual may be in as a result of their addiction), as well as not being able to offer as much flexibility in treatment programmes as inpatient services are able to.

This is not to say this this is not a viable option for some individuals, and most individuals are encouraged to speak about their issues with addiction with their local NHS representatives to get first steps and advice on how best to proceed. From here, individuals may then be recommended private rehab services or directed to other suitable care options.

4. Emergency health services

As a final note, it is important for all individuals who feel as though they may require emergency support or know someone who may require emergency care to contact the relevant and suitable emergency services should they ever be in doubt.

Though rehabilitation is always recommended for individuals struggling with addiction, all cases of emergency should be treated as so, and the correct services should always be contacted.

Seeking further support for addiction today

To learn more about addiction and how this can impact individuals over 50, contact your local health services, take a look online for addiction referral service information, and get in contact with the emergency services in all cases of immediate harm to health.

No addiction is too serious or too mild to start care, so start your recovery journey today.

Refences for this article

[1] Beynon, C.M., 2009. Drug use and ageing: older people do take drugs!. Age and ageing, 38(1), pp.8-10.

[2] de Andrade, D., Elphinston, R.A., Quinn, C., Allan, J. and Hides, L., 2019. The effectiveness of residential treatment services for individuals with substance use disorders: A systematic review. Drug and alcohol dependence, 201, pp.227-235.

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This is despite the fact that discriminating against someone for their age is illegal. Here’s how to create the best CV and avoid being judged on your age when you’re over 50.

According to the Office for National Statistics, Britain’s unemployment rate climbed to 4.7 % in the three months to May 2025, leaving about 1.67 million people without work. 

Over the same period, the number of job vacancies fell by 56,000 (a 5.8 % drop), reducing the total to around 718,000 open roles.

It’s tough out there.

Remove non-essential information

Under the Equality Act of 2010 it’s illegal to discriminate against someone based on age, so you don’t have to state your age if you don’t want to. Employers should choose the individual best suited to a role, so allow your skills, experience and passion to take centre stage instead.

Your specific address (general location is fine), personal circumstances and photos can also be removed. These don’t explain why someone should hire you. Instead, fill valuable space with detail that will show off your skills. Speaking of which…

Restrict CVs to two pages – absolute maximum

Job searching is extremely competitive. At best, recruiters spend around seven seconds to scan a CV; increasingly it’s more likely they’ll use AI to do it for them. So applicants need to stand out as quickly and clearly as possible. Highlighting your skills, experiences, and interests in a concise manner is more likely to maintain interest.

Buzzwords and templates

Don’t waffle, or fill your CV with buzzwords and nonsense. Even if you work in marketing. Also, CVs should be tailored to each job, using only the relevant skills for the application. Research each vacancy beforehand to handpick the best skills to target and jumpstart you higher up in the list.

Emphasise experience over age

Experience is often preferred to education. Showing you have years of developed skills is better than a list of qualifications or degree in something less relevant. Strike a positive tone and list key abilities before academic qualifications on your resume for the recruiter to see this first.

Include a professional summary

An even better way to grab attention from the get-go is to start with a professional summary: a concise (no waffle!) overview of you and your talents. The benefit of this is the hirer has everything they need in a tightly worded package. They can explore further once you’ve grabbed their attention.

Enjoying this article? More of an entrepreneur? Maybe you’d like this piece about raising investment for your own business

Sell your technical skills

Employers need to know that you’re as technically proficient as someone 20 years younger. Prove that you’re up to date with the latest tools and platforms by including them in your CV. This includes skills you’ve learned in lockdown – research shows it can take as little as 10 days to learn a new technical skill. Both Google and LinkedIn offer free courses, but a search on the web will turn up plenty of learning opportunity.

Just remember to avoid unnecessary jargon or ‘inside lingo’ that some hirers may not understand, and break up technical content with softer skills to add a human feel.

Network, network, network!

Most job applications are now online which, depending on your expertise, may not be ideal. But that doesn’t mean it’s what you must rely on. Also referred to as the Hidden Job Market, some research suggests as many as 70 per cent of jobs aren’t even posted online or shared publicly. If you’re used to the word-of-mouth approach to secure a job then keep practicing this alongside online applications.

If content is King, then design is its Queen

How a CV appears is just as important as the information it provides, so a good visual balance will mean the reader focuses on what matters the most: your qualifications. Keep your CV polished by incorporating bullet points, short summaries, and a mix of formats for clarity. Make it visually pleasing but avoid overly elaborate designs.

And finally, should you use AI to write your CV?

There’s no reason why you can’t get Chat etc to help you get started, or make drafts or suggestions. But don’t just hand the whole job over. Edit your CV, make sure it has your tone of voice. Employers can spot AI, and many might not be keen if they think you can’t be bothered to even write your own resume. But yes, AI is a great tool in your CV building arsenal, used well.

Thanks to the experts at Resume.io for this advice on resume building

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For centuries, creativity was seen as the domain of the young – a spark that burned brightest in early adulthood. Yet, in today’s rapidly changing world, older generations are disproving this myth. Across the UK, Europe, and the US, people aged over 50 are embracing digital tools that unlock artistic expression in ways previously unimaginable. At the centre of this renaissance lies artificial intelligence (AI), reshaping how art and writing are produced, shared, and enjoyed.

Far from replacing human imagination, AI is enabling new forms of self-expression. Whether through generating paintings, co-writing poems, or assisting in memoir writing, technology is offering mature creators opportunities to explore passions, rediscover dormant skills, and connect with global audiences.

Why the over-50s are turning to AI

More time, renewed purpose

For many, retirement or semi-retirement opens up hours once dedicated to work or raising families. This new time brings both possibilities and challenges: how best to use it meaningfully. Creative projects powered by AI offer accessible, low-cost avenues to explore old interests or spark new ones.

Accessibility and ease of use

AI-powered platforms no longer demand coding expertise. Tools like ChatGPT, Midjourney, and DALL·E rely on natural language input – users simply describe what they want, and the system generates results. This accessibility is crucial for older generations who might feel intimidated by complex software.

Emotional and cognitive benefits

Psychologists note that engaging in creative pursuits strengthens cognitive resilience, particularly as we age. A 2022 study by the American Psychological Association linked sustained creative activity with improved memory, reduced risk of depression, and higher life satisfaction among older adults. When AI lowers the barrier to entry, more people can reap these benefits without feeling constrained by technical limitations.

AI in writing: memoirs, poetry, and beyond

The memoir revolution

One of the most popular creative outlets for the over-50s is memoir writing. Many people dream of capturing their life stories for children or grandchildren but struggle with the discipline of structuring narratives. AI-assisted writing platforms now help with everything from outlining chapters to polishing prose.

An 68-year-old retired teacher in Manchester described how an AI drafting assistant helped her finally complete her memoir: “I had boxes of notes and journals, but no idea how to make them flow. With AI suggesting structures, I felt less overwhelmed, and now my family can read my story.”

Poetry and literary play

Creative AI also encourages experimentation. Even for those who have never written poetry before, generative tools make it possible to explore language playfully. Writers can input themes – such as “autumn in Yorkshire” or “first love” – and instantly receive drafts. These outputs are not endpoints but sparks for personal refinement.

In this sense, AI becomes less of a writer and more of a collaborator: suggesting, inspiring, and challenging. Midlife and later-life writers, often rich with experiences, can weave their own voices into AI-generated drafts, producing unique blends of human memory and machine creativity.

Everyday practical writing

Beyond artistic projects, AI also assists with everyday writing: letters, speeches, or even crafting travel blogs. Some older professionals continue freelance work after retirement, where AI helps in editing and refining texts. In these contexts, tools that allow users to rephrase AI outputs naturally become part of the writing process, making communication smoother and more engaging.

AI in art: from digital canvases to hybrid creations

The rise of ai-powered painting

Platforms such as Midjourney and Stable Diffusion allow users to generate high-quality digital art by typing short prompts. This makes painting accessible to those who never felt skilled with brushes. An amateur in her 70s can now bring to life imagined landscapes, portraits, or abstract works in minutes, then share them online or print them for her living room.

Hybrid practices: human + machine

Artists are not simply accepting AI’s first output. Instead, many use AI as a starting point – printing digital pieces, adding hand-drawn details, or collaging them into mixed-media works. This hybrid approach highlights that human imagination remains central. The AI becomes a powerful partner, offering endless variations at the click of a button.

Community and exhibition

Galleries are beginning to recognise the role of older AI creators. In 2023, the Barbican in London hosted a digital arts exhibition where several contributors were retirees experimenting with generative tools. Their works demonstrated that AI art is not about replacing painters but democratising access to creative worlds.

Addressing concerns: authenticity and ownership

Sceptics often argue that AI-generated art and writing lack authenticity. Yet authenticity resides not solely in technical skill but in intention, meaning, and emotional connection. For someone sharing a memoir with grandchildren, or producing a poem that captures decades of lived experience, the human story behind the work remains the defining element.

Copyright and ownership questions remain complex. Legal frameworks across the UK and EU are still evolving, but most platforms currently allow users to claim ownership of AI-generated works. Experts advise creators to save drafts, document their prompts, and consider how they want their contributions acknowledged in collaborative processes.

The psychological edge: rediscovering confidence

For many older adults, starting something creative can feel daunting. AI’s gentle prompts and rapid feedback help counter self-doubt. By generating drafts or sketches instantly, the technology encourages experimentation without fear of “getting it wrong.”

Professor Sarah Harper, gerontologist at the University of Oxford, notes: “Later life is not about winding down – it is about rediscovery. When AI tools lower entry barriers, they empower older adults to explore creativity with confidence and curiosity.”

Looking ahead: the future of creative ai for older generations

The pace of AI innovation shows no sign of slowing. Voice-controlled systems may soon allow users to simply speak their ideas aloud, generating stories or images hands-free – a boon for those with mobility or vision challenges. Virtual reality combined with AI could allow older creators to “step inside” their paintings or collaboratively write plays with global peers.

Importantly, as adoption grows, we are likely to see more peer-led communities of over-50s sharing tutorials, prompts, and techniques. This could mirror the early days of social media, but with a more purposeful focus on creativity, wellbeing, and intergenerational exchange.

Creativity without age limits

Artificial intelligence is not a replacement for imagination – it is an amplifier. For people over 50, it is providing tools to rekindle passions, start new projects, and leave lasting creative legacies. From memoir writing to digital painting, AI has become a bridge between decades of lived experience and the possibilities of modern technology.

As society continues to challenge outdated stereotypes about ageing, one fact is becoming clear: creativity has no expiry date. And thanks to AI, it has never been easier – or more rewarding – for older generations to express themselves boldly and beautifully.

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Sam on BBC radio, doing an interview, and talking all things Coming of Age, and why it’s worth hanging in there. Why things get better, and what there is to look forward to after 50. And the strength that comes from sharing that midlife is tough, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, and she’s living proof.

Click below to listen to the full interview. If you want to read Sam’s article, the one that kicked off this interview, you can read that here…

What is Midlife Coming of Age? It’s bloody brilliant, that’s what

Click here to listen to full interview

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When people ask me how I’m doing, I’m usually honest, or so I believed. I would say yes, I’m okay thanks, but the last few years have been really tough.

And they have. Within the last five or six years I’ve lost my beloved dad and stepmum – brutal to lose both parents so close to each other. I’ve moved house twice, not by choice, with all the stress and upheaval that goes with that. The longest relationship of my life ended, not without its drama and heartbreak. My daughter spread her wings and left home, just when we had stopped teenage/menopause fighting. Which brings me to the joy of perimenopause, and menopause, and all the fun stuff that goes with that. That’s been in the mix too.

I tell you this, not to have a whine about how awful life has been… but mostly, that you do come out of it

But it hasn’t all been personal either. I started a business with two other people, both of whom left within a year, and left me holding the baby. We’ve had Brexit and Covid, both of which placed enormous pressure not only on the business, but on my mental health. Money has been a constant worry. Suppliers and associates have been going out of business left, right and centre. I have lost friends and family to illness, and to suicide.

There are days when I am frankly astonished that I even have a business. And on my more honest days, I’m pleased that I’m here at all. Because things have been dark sometimes. I’ve struggled with depression, through antidepressants and out the other side. It’s been a ride.

I tell you this, not to have a whine about how awful life has been – although it has, in parts. But mostly to tell you that you do come out of it, somewhere along the line.

I have been underestimating the length of my tough years though

This morning I realised that although I talk about ‘the past few years’ having been challenging, it’s been quite a lot longer than that. About ten years ago, for a period of about five years, I used to get chronic migraines. Like, proper three-day mind-bending and stomach-churning battles that happened at least once a week. It was appalling, trying to slog through the pain and debilitating symptoms, to run a business and try to be a half decent parent to a challenging teen.

…what I really ought to say is that the last decade has been a brutal rollercoaster. The hardest decade of my life

Turns out it was the pill, and I’d become oestrogen-intolerant. Stopping the pill brought instant relief – the migraines completely stopped, immediately. I quit the pill, and I’ve never had another migraine since. The relief was astonishing. I could function! But then as migraines left the building, perimenopause slid in through the back door, bringing the most god-awful periods known to womankind. Of the two problems though, the latter was definitely the lesser in terms of hideousness.

And finally, possibly the most fundamentally huge shift for me, I was diagnosed with ADHD (officially) and (unofficially by my doctor) with autism. I got medication for the former, and dived headfirst into understanding and learning coping mechanisms for the latter, and that’s been utterly life-changing. I am, however, having counselling to deal with the ‘what ifs’. What if I’d been diagnosed as a child, for example. What might my life have been like? It’s a form of grief, dealing with what feels like the loss of Potential Samantha. But I’m getting there.

So although I say to people ‘the last few years’ have been tough, what I really ought to say is that the last decade has been a brutal rollercoaster. The hardest decade of my life. I’m 54, in case you were wondering.

It gets better

And I mean that literally, not sarcastically. This isn’t a huge, life-changing article full of unique revelations, and tips for making your life fantastic. But if you’re reading this and identifying with all or any of the issues I’ve experienced, I am here to tell you it gets better. It really does. There is a midlife coming of age, and it’s beautiful.

I can see it happening all around me, to my friends, and my peers, and it’s bloody fantastic. It’s actually really exciting.

There’s a phenomenon called the U-shaped curve of happiness, and even though we’ve published articles about this, I had my doubts about its legitimacy. But it’s real. The timeline isn’t the same for everyone, but by and large, at some point in mid-life, things improve. Priorities change. Attitudes change. Seismic shifts often occur, where people choose lifestyles and jobs that make them happier. I can see it happening all around me, to my friends, and my peers, and it’s bloody fantastic. It’s actually really exciting.

My own experience has been thus; firstly I’m now officially menopausal, and it’s fucking fantastic. No hormonal rollercoaster, no monthly pain and mess. I didn’t do HRT, mostly because of the oestrogen, but also because I just wanted to get it out of the way and not be reliant on anything anymore just to function. And for me that was the right choice. I feel exactly like I used to before perimenopause. Better in fact – more like when I was about 35. My brain works properly again, I can remember things. My body works. I don’t feel shut down, or dissociated, or in crazy hormonal flux. Ladies – hang in there. It’s brilliant the other side.

Your midlife coming of age brings about some good stuff

Now that I’m older, I eat better, and drink less booze, so I feel clearer in mind and body. I’m lucky and VERY grateful to be healthy and well. My body, bless it for all the shit I’ve put it through, functions well. My relationship with my daughter is wonderful. I love what I do, mostly, but wouldn’t cry if I just gave it all up tomorrow and went off round the world. That’s liberating in itself.

My body, bless it for all the shit I’ve put it through, functions well

I’m single, which makes my life less complicated. And – bear with me because this is going to sound a little weird – there’s something quite freeing about not having any older relatives left to worry about. Don’t get me wrong – I’d swap all my limbs to have my dad back, for example. But honestly? If he went on for years like a creaking gate, he would have been a difficult bastard, I know it. So there is a little silver lining. I have no elders to be responsible for. No care homes to worry about. No nursing to do. No guilt-ridden trips to medical facilities. It’s a thing, even if it sounds a bit heartless.

More than anything, I give fewer fucks. I don’t care what people think of me – although that’s never been a big thing for me, I care even less now. I have let go of wild ambitious dreams that I once had but which made me stressed trying to achieve. You’ve all read that poem When I Am An Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple, by Jenny Joseph? I’m there, and it’s fabulous.

Hang in there. Man or woman, midlife is a fucking minefield assault course of a time, and we will all face a lot of similar challenge. And yes, I know not everyone will have a positive trajectory. Some of you will die too young. Some of you will not be happy. But for the vast majority – and we have undertaken our own research on this – there is light at the end of the tunnel, and a positive outcome to look forward to. Take comfort from the fact that I am here to tell you, it gets better.

Sam Harrington-Lowe

Sam is Silver’s founder and editor-in-chief. She’s largely responsible for organising all the things, but still finds time to do the odd bit of writing. Not enough though. Send help.

The post What is midlife coming of age? It’s bloody brilliant, that’s what appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Having a simple capsule wardrobe can make it so much easier for you to choose what to wear. The premise is that by carefully curating outfits when you purchase them, you don’t have to get your head in a tangle about it later. Sometimes, having just a few high-quality, versatile pieces is all you need.

Maybe you’ve accumulated lots of clothes over the years and you want to start from fresh. Here are a few items you could consider to form the basis of your new capsule wardrobe.

Simple t-shirts

T-shirts are the staple of casual wear for many a capsule wardrobe. You’ll probably want a combination of long and short-sleeved t-shirts, just to keep all your bases covered. Pick a few neutral shades, and perhaps a colour or two as well. 

Think about the fabric you’re picking. Cotton t-shirts are a nice, soft breathable material. For something more sustainable, look out for organic cotton. 

However, cotton is often easier to shrink in the wash, and the colours may fade. If you’d rather avoid this possibility altogether, look for polyester or a polyester-cotton blend. 

Stylish trousers

Two or three pairs of thoughtfully chosen trousers could also form an important part of your selection. Choose black, grey, camel, or cream if you want to maximise the number of tops you can pair them with. 

Remember that wide-leg trousers generally look best with fitted tops, while skinny or slim-fit trousers can work with either fitted or loose-fitting tops. 

Loose-fitting clothing such as linen trousers are comfy and still perfect for warm summer days. With these, you can easily dress your outfit up or down for the day’s activity.

Many women find high-waisted trousers create a flattering impression. For a woman who is on the shorter side, they give the illusion of longer legs and, thus additional height.

Comfortable dresses

Depending on your style, you may want to stock your capsule closet with a few comfy dresses. The best kind are the ones you can dress up or dress down and adapt to all weather.

A relaxed midi dress can fare well in both summer and autumn. Choose something with loose sleeves to give you that comfort and freedom of movement. 

A smart shirt dress with a belt can often function as office wear or weekend wear.

When dress shopping for a capsule wardrobe ask yourself the following questions:

1. Will smart shoes and casual shoes alike look good with this?
2. Will it work well either on its own or with a jacket?

If the answer to both questions is yes, you’ve got yourself an all-season, multi-purpose dress that’s worth sticking in your basket. 

Outdoor clothes

This is the UK, let’s face it. Not having to reach for layers when stepping out is a luxury reserved for a select part of summer. So, you’ll want one very solid winter coat in your capsule wardrobe, as well as another light jacket for milder weather.

The trench coat never goes out of style and it looks great with a pair of heeled boots.

A pair of classic white shoes (maybe some simple trainers) can also go with most outfits, from summer dresses to trousers and shorts.

Consider shoe purchases carefully and aim to try them on first, if possible. Good foot support and bunion prevention are non-negotiable. 

Finally, complete your edit with a pair of quality slippers and garden shoes. 

Finding out what flatters your body type and then streamlining your wardrobe accordingly can be a fun way to get organised. Ultimately though, don’t lose sight of what you’re comfortable and happy wearing.

Need more wardrobe help? Read Autumn fashion wardrobe staples

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The post Capsule wardrobe pieces for women over 50 appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Nobody said doing what you love is easy. Life gets in the way; children, jobs, bills. And before you know it, you can feel like your dreams of fame and fortune are lost. But perhaps not. If theatre is your dream, and you’ve ever wondered what it’s like doing am dram, we’re going to take you backstage to find out.

Meet some of the Southwick Players. The Players is a long-standing theatrical group based in Sussex presenting community theatre since 1935. Producing multiple shows a year, there’s everything from a mix of musicals, comedies, contemporary plays, to the classics.

And many of the Players directing, set-building, writing, making costumes, and acting are over 50. They’re busy proving that it’s never too late to engage that passion you might have put on the back burner.

Meet some of the Players

Ron Common

I do find it challenging to accept that I can’t be in every play

I’m a retired railwayman whose journey has been shaped by family, golf, painting, and an unexpected venture into theatre. 

Ron Common

Getting into Southwick Players is a bit of a long story. My sister-in-law and her husband were members of Shoreham British Legion and someone came up with the idea of doing a panto, using a script written by a member during the war. I commuted to the panto rehearsals with a chap who was a member at Southwick. I turned up to learn more, and felt it was time to stretch myself. That was 31 years ago now.

Joining Southwick Players gave me the opportunity to direct my own first full-length play, Whose Life is it Anyway. I was fortunate in having an exceptional cast to work with for this very moving play. I’m often seen as always being ready for a laugh, and although I am, this showed my serious side.

Balancing rehearsals and performances has been made easier by my wonderful wife and previously patient and tolerant bosses. Now I’m retired, everything is much easier to fit around rehearsals.

Ron in A Christmas Cracker, 1997

I do find it challenging to accept that I can’t be in every play. Getting older means you can’t sing or dance as well as you used to, and learning lines becomes harder. I have to conquer my ego that says I should play lead in every production. But, that’s not to say you shouldn’t audition for the parts that feel right for you. Of course, the director has the final say when casting, but there are other ways to get involved in productions. I’m currently our props co-ordinator and archivist, and I’m soon to direct A Tale of Two Cities.

For anyone contemplating amateur dramatics, I’d say go for it. You’re never too old to try. Ok, there may not always be parts for someone your age but there may be in the next one. If you don’t fancy acting, there are plenty of other areas vital to production. 

Read more: My first time taking a holiday alone over 50

Chrissie Blount

Being a member has comforted me through many personal ups and downs

I enjoy a full life working part time, singing in choirs, volunteering, and of course being in Southwick Players. All despite being in my seventies. I had always enjoyed singing in school choirs and so on,

Chrissy Blount (Credit: Tom Faulkner)

but I didn’t really venture into theatre until about 30 years later, when I was chivvied by neighbours to help organise a panto to raise funds for the local village church hall roof. I ended up being the heroine (very badly cast!) and organising the songs. I was terrified, but it re-ignited my love for the theatre – watching, performing, singing and being part of a group.

I then got into Southwick Players through a golfing pal, Ron, who I’d watched in various productions. He convinced me to play a green elf in the play Lord and Ladies, by Terry Pratchett, in about 2000. 

Being a member has comforted me through many personal ups and downs. Even when I’ve had a break from productions, the social events and friendships have provided stability. I’m surprised at how many friends I have made. Even through Covid, we banded together to perform some murder mystery productions over zoom to raise money for various charities. When everyone was feeling cut off from family and friends, we got to bring a little entertainment to people; we even had some audience members joining from America.

Chrissy Blount as The Duchess in Murder on the Simpleton-Orient Express (Credit: Tom Faulkner)

Before Southwick Players, I don’t think I realised the satisfaction I’d get from audiences appreciating the shows. Especially after I’ve had a hard time learning a new accent for the role.

Being in amateur dramatics later in life does have its challenges. I have to make sure my phone diary is always up to date, so I can plan my time. I like to be busy, so it’s just a question of being sure of what I can commit to. I feel lucky that I have the opportunity to get involved with Southwick Players, when for others it’s not as easy to do so.

It has totally helped me build my self-confidence over the years. Just being able to prove to myself that I can learn something new. But, also when I’ve had personal issues or health concerns, the support of the group has been a huge benefit. Any drop in confidence is quickly boosted again. 

Tim Ingram 

You don’t have to be a stage performer from day one to get involved with amateur dramatics

Tim Ingram. Photo: Miles Davies

I was heavily involved in local theatre during my younger years, until work and family commitments took precedent. It wasn’t until taking early retirement in 2015 that I was invited to join my old theatre group for a production of West Side Story. My love for musical theatre was rekindled. I’ve been with the Southwick Players since a friend encouraged me to audition for a play her was directing, in 2019. It was immediately a very warm and welcoming community of people, and has become something of a second family.

In my older age I do find learning lines much harder when doing a play. Actually, recalling lines is much easier with music (a little tip for those of you who also struggle)! But, my maturity brings an element of enhanced skill in performing. Although less so physical performing. I suspect my stage dancing days are pretty much done.

I do think theatre means a lot to people. Being involved with theatre at a young age helped develop my confidence and communication. Additionally, we wouldn’t have shows with the audiences and the support they provide. There’s also a lot of work that goes on behind the scenes to deliver a show. Our workshop teams that provide the sets, the props people, the costumiers, the front of house teams. They all bring such skill and are often the unsung heroes.

You don’t have to be a stage performer from day one to get involved with amateur dramatics. There are lots of roles behind scenes if you’re nervous to tread the boards straight away. 

Elizabeth Gibson

Acting now does have its challenges that weren’t there when I did youth theatre

I’m an ex-Londoner now living in West Sussex. I’m not in paid employment any more, but I volunteer for a couple of charities. I’m a member of several amateur dramatics companies, as parts for ‘women of a certain age’ are sometimes few and far between.

Elizabeth Gibson

After being involved in a big choir, we sung a lot of choral masses in Bulgarian, I was persuaded to try amateur dramatics. I hadn’t trodden the boards since my days in youth theatre in South London, so went to see a play by my local group. After a few shows with that group, I looked for another good group with parts for me and found Southwick Players. 

I’ve met some great and talented people through the group. Being in a show usually means turning up for rehearsals two or three times a week. You do, of course, have to spend time learning lines. I usually call upon my husband’s support and understanding, and his ability and willingness to prepare his own meals.

I will never forget the first play I did with the Players, See How They Run. It’s a farce, with lots of vicars, and people pretending to be vicars. Rehearsals were all great fun with lots of laughter amid the seriousness involved in putting on a comedy. And the show was a great success with audiences.

Elizabeth Gibson in pantomime costume

At one point I had to ‘pass out’ and lie on the floor, while other characters ran in and out, jumping over me. One of these accidentally trod on my hand and reminded me of it every time I saw him afterwards. It hadn’t particularly hurt, but as the young man has since passed away I think of him every time I think of the play – he was a particularly brilliant actor and much missed.

Acting now does have its challenges that weren’t there when I did youth theatre. When I was young, I could learn my lines on Sunday for a play we were starting rehearsals for on the Monday. Nowadays, it takes a lot longer to get them into my head. Movement is a bit more restricted too. Recently I was called on to do a backwards roll, and I did try. But we ended up having to adapt my exit to crawling off, which I was just able to do. 

Roy Stevens

I live on my own and it’s a great way to be involved with a group of friendly likeminded people

I’ve been a retired bank manager for about ten years, although I have now retrained to work part time teaching English to foreign students in Worthing. I’ve been involved with amateur dramatics for many years, and a part of Southwick Players since lockdown. So, my first interactions with the company were over zoom meetings to read plays.

Roy Stevens

Southwick Players has had a big impact on my life. I live on my own and it’s a great way to be involved with a group of friendly likeminded people. It gets me out of the house regularly, and there’s a good social side to it. 

You do have to be quite organised and disciplined with your time. Learning lines takes a lot of effort, and I normally allocate some time each day to go over lines. You have to attend two rehearsals a week, and show week is a big commitment, so normal life gets put on hold that week.

From my experience, I think the biggest challenges of being an older perform are that you have to work harder to learn lines, and perhaps stamina for the role you’re playing. Or, if the show is physically demanding, pantomime for example, can be quite draining in a way that wouldn’t have been twenty years ago.

If you are considering joining an amateur dramatics group later in life my advice is, “don’t just sit there do it !” It’s great fun, get’s you out and good for your mental simulation. Even if you don’t want to act there are always plenty of jobs to do back-stage and they are generally a very friendly bunch of people. Expect a warm welcome, but be prepared for a commitment of time and effort, you won’t regret it.

Sally Diver

Theatre holds a mirror in front of society and reminds us how lucky we are that we’re free to be creative and express ourselves

For most of my working life I was a secretary, alongside raising two wonderful children who have blessed me with five adorable grandchildren. I retired early and took a part time job as a view guide for an estate agent. Being paid to show people around new houses and chat all day, what’s not to like?

Sally Diver

I wanted to go to a children’s theatre school as a young girl but my mother put a stop to that. Then after school I considered getting into acting; but I started a job, met a boy, and before I knew it I was a wife and mother. I saw an ad for Southwick Players in our local newspaper and went to an open evening. That was thirty years ago now!

Southwick Players has made me friends for life. I met my best friend through Players. We go away on holiday all over the world, fortunately my hubby doesn’t mind. I also do voluntary work, through Players, for the Southwick Community Centre. I carry out the training of the front of house staff, and organise cover for many visit acts.

Being part of this group has filled my life with many benefits. I’ve grown from a shy actor to a director, and even temporarily the acting president of the Players. Plus, found I’ve got a knack for advertising and won Best Publicity at the Brighton and Hove Arts Council Drama Awards six years on the trot.

Sally Diver on stage (Credit: Miles Davis Photography)

Performing arts plays such a key role in encouraging us to expand our imaginations and explore our emotions. Theatre holds a mirror in front of society and reminds us how lucky we are that we’re free to be creative and express ourselves. It’s certainly a tool for education as well as entertainment.

I don’t think you ever stop learning in theatre. I’m sure my style has changed, but only because I’ve got more experience. I try to play it as naturally as possible. If you don’t believe, then neither will the audience. Although directing is much more my thing now.

Frank Horsley

Acting with the Players has boosted my self-esteem and made the outside world easier to negotiate

Now retired after 40 years as a journalist and two years as a drummer in an Elvis tribute band, I fill my days with walking, reading, attending concerts, and reunions with old journalist friends. I reviewed many of the Southwick Player’s shows in the 1970s as a young journalist. However, I didn’t go on stage until 1996 with Adur Theatre Company for a behind the scene panto feature in the Worthing Herald paper. This led to me joining the players in 2005, first appearing in Scrooge the Musical.

Frank Horsely in the Government Inspector poster

Being with the Players has made me lots of new friends. It’s also a brilliant place to regularly venture outside your comfort zone, either in taking on weightier roles or performing to a larger audience. 

Being retired and living alone makes it a lot easier to devote myself to the months of preparation needed for any production. When I was still working, I always took show weeks off, because it’s almost impossible to focus on anything else when you have the next performance buzzing round your brain.

Acting with the Players has boosted my self-esteem and made the outside world easier to negotiate for someone who was desperately shy as a youngster, but there’s never any room for complacency or cockiness. You’re only as good as your next performance. 

If you’re considering amateur drama, just do it. You’re a long time retired in that great green room in the sky. And although I’m far from impartial, expect and embrace a warm welcome from the Southwick Players.

Feeling inspired?

You can find more about the Southwick Players and their upcoming performances on their website.

To find an amateur drama group local to you, visit Drama Groups.

Lana Hall

Lana can usually be found spinning her collection of records, or writing odd poems in her phone notes. Her mixer of choice is a ginger beer, and you’ll never find her away from the sea for more than a few weeks.

The post Behind the scenes: what it’s like doing am dram appeared first on Silver Magazine.

The cold weather is tough on everyone’s skin – not just from being outside in the cold, but also the drying effects of central heating. So, what are the best beauty products and practices for mature skin care in winter?

Read: How can I protect my skin in the autumn or holiday sun?

TREAT YOUR SKIN WITH LOVE IN WINTER

Wrinkles, lines, jowls – the list of words that you quite often see associated with anti-ageing mature skin care isn’t an inspiring mix. But at SILVER, we are looking at things differently. Here are some top things you can do to encourage great skin when you’re over fifty. And it’s not just all about creams.

1. WATER

This doesn’t surprise you, does it? We can topically apply products that help retain water on the skin’s surface, but nothing beats drinking it – two litres day regardless of how many loo breaks that makes.

2. EAT THE RAINBOW

Get the fruit and veg down you. Berries, walnuts, seeds, probiotic yoghurt – you know the drill.

3. SUPPLEMENTS

Now, I’m not a doctor so always consult yours before taking supplements, but it’s a fair guess that you will be light on Omega3, Zinc, Vit C, Magnesium, and a few others. Vit D is also well worth a look at as well during winter.

4. MOVE

Nothing beats blood flowing into the skin as it brings oxygen and nutrients into play. Fresh air is also fantastic for skin, but if you’re out in bracing wind/rain/snow, do pop on a high-quality barrier balm to protect, as well as your SPF – and never go outside without your SPF!

5. SPF

Sun damage will sap your glow. SPF30 every day, even in winter. One of my favourites is Ultrasun FACE SPF30 (25ml / £11 / www.ultrasun.com).

6. DOUBLE CLEANSE

Double cleanse is a new phenomenon. At night only, the first cleanse is with something like Emma Hardie’s Moringa Cleansing Balm (100ml / £47 / emmahardie.com), an oil-based cleanser that you gently massage into skin.

Once done, use a water-soluble cleanser like Gatineau’s Micellar Milk Cleanser (200ml / £23 / gatineau.com) – you’ll really see the difference in tone and glow if you keep this up.

7. EXFOLIATE

Every few days the top layer of skin needs to be turned over because we need to allow the fresh skin cells below to come through. However, we were brought up with facial ‘scrubs’. You remember, the stuff with bits in it. All facial scrubs with bits whether it’s oats, apricot kernels, coconut fibre – I don’t care, bin them. They really scratch your skin. Go for a liquid exfoliator such as Jane Scrivner’s Skinfoliate (150ml / £29); organic, a mix of very mild acids – use at night a couple of times each week after cleansing.

8. LOOK AT YOUR SKIN

Here’s a crazy thought – why don’t you look at your skin each day and think about what it needs? If you’ve had a heavy night, bring out the big guns such as day serums, liquid exfoliators, face oils, eye creams and moisturisers. If your skin is looking half decent, dial it down with a light moisturiser and serum. Give your skin what it asks you for.

9. MASKS

Sleep is key and I’ve been road testing SleepSmug’s Contoured 3D Blackout Sleep Mask (£12 / sleepsmug.com). It’s shaped a bit like a padded bra so that the mask doesn’t rest on your eyes (so if you have lash extensions it’s no bother) but does keep the light out.

I’ve also been checking out Sensory Retreats’ Self-Heating Eye Masks (£3.95 / sensoryretreats.com). These are single use as a heated eye mask (you can keep as a regular eye mask rather than throwing it away) and if you pop a bit of eye cream on before you use it works a treat!

10. SERUMS

These are the money shot in beauty terms after the age of 50. You want to splash the cash, here is the place to do it. Top choice for me is BioEffect EGF Serum (15ml / £130 / bioeffect.co.uk) because it retains moisture in the skin superbly, and we want that because moisture plumps, giving glow and freshness.

Silver Lifestyle – time to get your silver on with our retreats and products

Karen Davis

Karen Davis is an Amazon #1 best selling author of Time of Your Life, a book on living midlife well following her own experience of personal crisis at the age of 50. She also runs a beauty subscription box for mature women at www.toyl.co.uk, curating gorgeous products that really hit the spot.

The post Mature skin care in winter – top tips for the over-50s appeared first on Silver Magazine.

What is Polari? Sometimes spelled ‘palare’ from the Italian ‘to talk’, it’s a form of slang most commonly associated with gay men, used more widely during the days when male homosexuality was against the law.

The language itself has diverse origins – a combination of Italian and Romantic roots, Romany, backslang (saying things backwards), Yiddish, Cockney, and other street and sailor slang, mostly from London.

The point of Polari was, largely, to avoid the law knowing what the hell you were talking about

The point of Polari was, largely, to avoid the law knowing what the hell you were talking about or getting up to. And so to keep ahead of intelligence, the language was a constantly evolving thing, staying one step ahead. Many of the words have made their way into common parlance.

In 2021, Polari lives on as the inspiration for literary events and awards where the focus is very much on inclusivity. Polari is still relevant and part of our history. Although gay rights have come far in the UK, there is still a way to go.

The origins of Polari

The origins are complex. At various times, circus folk, sailors, Romany gypsies and other social outsiders spoke Polari, but it’s most commonly associated with gay men. In the 1960s, it was popularised by Kenneth Williams and Hugh Paddick as camp comedy couple Julian and Sandy on the BBC radio show Round the Horne. Their conversation was laced with sexual innuendo and made regular use of Polari.

They used slang like ‘bona lallies’, which means ‘nice legs’, and ‘dolly eke’, which means ‘handsome face’, in a knowing way that many gay listeners of the time would have recognised.

Other cultural icons using Polari

When David Bowie launched his Ziggy Stardust character and album in 1972, he gave a famous interview to Melody Maker. He camped it up outrageously, claimed he was gay and spoke in Polari to prove his queer credentials; despite being married with a child. His final album Blackstar also contains elements of Polari on the track Girl Loves Me.

Polari was vital to the gay community until very recently

Polari is sometimes referred to as ‘the lost language of gay men’. It was most popular after WWII and before the 1967 Sexual Offences Act, when male homosexuality was against the law.

You could be fired from your job or refused accommodation simply for being gay.

Thousands of gay and bisexual men were imprisoned for consensual sex acts. Men used Polari as a coded way of communicating with each other at a time when being openly homosexual carried the risk of arrest.

There are words that have made it into common parlance, used to this day. Like ‘naff’, which originally meant ‘straight’ or ‘Not Available For Fucking’.

The 1967 Sexual Offences Act was a watershed moment, but…

Contrary to popular belief, the act didn’t actually make gay sex legal. It only decriminalised it under certain circumstances. The age of consent for gay men was set at 21, compared to 16 for heterosexuals. Homosexual acts were tolerated, providing they took place in private and no more than two people were present.

The freedom that straight people take for granted weren’t afforded to us. If a nosy neighbour spotted two men kissing – inside their own home – and reported them to the police, they could be charged with a public disorder offence. You could be fired from your job or refused accommodation simply for being gay.

It’s worth remembering that this remained the case until a mere 20 years ago. Public displays of affection could, and often did, still lead to arrest.

Astonishingly, the specifically gay crime of ‘gross indecency’, for which Oscar Wilde was imprisoned more than a century ago, remained in law until as recently as 2003. These days we have an equal age of consent, partnership rights and employment rights. All of these things were unthinkable back in 1967.

It is easier to be a gay man in the UK today, but again…

A lot might have changed since 1967, but homophobia hasn’t gone away. It still isn’t safe to walk the streets holding your partner’s hand, or look a certain way. There’s always an element of risk involved.

In the last year there’ve been violent homophobic attacks on gay men in Birmingham, Edinburgh, Manchester, Liverpool, and London. A friend of mine was attacked in Brighton. I’ve been assaulted many times in London. It’s easier now than it used to be but it’s still far from ideal.

It’s always been harder for lesbians

They weren’t criminalised the way gay men were, but they did face persecution and were often invisible in a way gay men weren’t. And the notorious Section 28 affected lesbians just as much as gay men, by describing relationships as ‘pretended family relationships’ and making any discussion of our lives during sex education lessons unlawful.

…it’s important for gay men to support our lesbian sisters, just as they supported us during the AIDS crisis

Many young people who grew up lesbian or gay were taught that it was shameful.

Lesbians were at the forefront of the fight against Section 28 and heavily involved in AIDS activism – a fact often glossed over or forgotten. As women, lesbians are doubly oppressed as they also don’t enjoy male privilege. And misogyny and sexism aren’t the exclusive preserve of straight men; some gay men can be just as bad.

These days, there are very few lesbian-only social spaces left. And sadly disputes between some sections of the lesbian community and some trans activists have led to a lot of animosity and division.

I fully support trans rights. And I also think it’s important for gay men to support our lesbian sisters, just as they supported us during the AIDS crisis. In fact, I consider it my moral duty.

I celebrate Polari to keep history alive

I created a live event, a literary salon, to help celebrate and explore the language. Polari is a live showcase for LGBTQ literary talent. It started in 2007 in Soho, London, and grew quickly. We’re currently based at the Southbank Centre, and tour regularly, thanks to Arts Council funding.

I think of it as a cabaret or variety show in which all the acts are writers of one kind or another – authors, poets, spoken word performers. It’s very diverse and very inclusive. Everyone is welcome, regardless of gender or sexuality. And we run two book prizes, for debut and established LGBTQ writers; it’s the only such prize in the UK. And we’ve been touring the UK, as we have every year since 2014.

For more information about Polari events: www.polarisalon.com

 @paulburston

Polari words still in common parlance…

Bevvy: drink
Bijou: small
Butch: masculine; masculine lesbian
Camp: effeminate (origin: kamp = known as male prostitute)
Carsey: toilet, also spelt khazi
Crimper: hairdresser
Dish: an attractive male; buttocks
Dizzy: scatterbrained
Drag: clothes, especially women’s clothes
Fruit: queen
Mince: walk (affectedly)
Naff: bad, drab
Scarper: to run off
Scotch: leg (scotch peg)
Slap: makeup
Trade: sex
Troll: to walk about (especially looking for trade)

Paul Burston

Author of six novels including The Closer I Get. Memoir We Can Be Heroes published June 2023. Founder of Polari literary salon and the Polari Book Prize for LGBTQ+ writing. Born in York, raised in Wales, now based in London and Hastings.

The post Polari, Britain’s secret gay language and its influence today appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Is 50 the new 30? Or even 40? I don’t think so. Nor do I think silver is the new black, whatever the hell that means.

If you’d asked me a few years ago what age I’d choose to be if I could go back, I’d have probably picked 25, or thereabouts. Old enough to be past the angst of teenagehood, young enough to have my whole life ahead of me. And a great body.

But realistically, looking at 25 year old me, I was a complete mess. It was the mid-90s and I was a club reporter for a magazine. My life was nocturnal – I regularly lurched from nightclub to dawn, and slept through most days – my life was disordered, chaotic. Immersed deeply in the rave culture and everything that goes with it, my actual life was fun, but pretty unhealthy.

I look back at that me now, and the very thought of it makes me exhausted. Frankly I’m astonished I’m even alive

I was a size 8, not through healthy eating and exercise (although I did a lot of dancing) but that cavalier attitude towards life and our bodies that only the young can sustain. If I wasn’t roaring about the countryside chasing an illegal party I was routinely gingerly trying to eat a Pot Noodle without throwing up, before pulling on my trusty Buffalo trainers and doing it all over again. I lived on cans of Nurishment and bags of Hula Hoops for about three years.

My personal life, unsurprisingly, was also a mess. Serotonin in flux aligned with an unstable life and a desire for danger and excitement led me repeatedly into unsuitable loves and scrapes, and this added to my rollercoaster existence. It was the best of times, and the worst of times. I look back at that me now, and the very thought of it makes me exhausted. Frankly I’m astonished I’m even alive. I’m rethinking my ‘ideal age’.

What is the best age to be then?

My glamorous grandmother – whose daily toilette would take around three hours – used to muse out loud whilst I sat watching her elaborate routine, waiting to go rollerskating, agonisingly impatient through the makeup, the removal of curlers, the backcombing and spraying, the relentless chainsmoking. And her favourite musings were about the best times in her life.

I’m 51 now and I can’t help feeling that the best is yet to come

She’d led a charmed life; one of the beautiful people, she’d taken lovers through the war and then revived her marriage, spent time modeling in Paris, travelled to exotic locations like Istanbul when travel was still very much a luxury. And she always said if she could be any age again it would be 40. “Old enough to know better, young enough to still have fun,” she used to say.

15 year old me couldn’t understand that at all, but I get it now. I think it helped that by their 40s my grandfather had made a few quid, so life was pretty cushy. She’d never had to work or worry. But as we age more slowly and live longer now, I’m reckoning on her 40 being equivalent to today’s 50-55. I’m 51 now, and I can’t help feeling that the best is yet to come.

Really?

OK – so let’s be clear. Heading into your late 40s is not entirely a bag of fun. There’s perimenopause to wrangle with, and big changes to your body. It just changes, there’s no two ways. There’s the realisation that you’re not going to be 40-something any more, and late nights are tougher, and there’s things like bingo wings and unshiftable spare tyres and crow’s feet, and other general shite that wasn’t there before.

But actually, that stuff is mostly skin deep, and to a large extent, fixable. Emotionally though, it’s quite hard to let go of being young, and accepting it’s likely that most of your life is behind you, not in front. That is quite weird. It’s also the time of your life where friends start to die. Not in droves, but cancer gets a few, and other illnesses take their toll. You begin to realise you’re not immortal.

On a positive note, it lends a sense of urgency to doing things you’ve put off, and finishing things you’ve started. It also makes you deeply grateful for the fact that you’re still here. As a million memes attest to, ageing is a gift not everyone gets to enjoy.

So what exactly is so good about being 50?

Firstly, it’s about the reduction of fucks one gives. The utter joy of not caring about stuff is one of the most thrilling developments of my life so far. I don’t mean important things, but the small stuff. Such joy to realise that it doesn’t matter, and let it go.

You also realise – once you accept that the first flourish of your youth and beauty has gone – that actually, it’s quite hard work keeping up with that too. You know what suits you and you stop worrying about it, and you lose a lot of unwanted attention. There’s a huge sense of relief in not being part of that rat race.

I like myself more, and I choose my friends more carefully (oh the joy of not having to pretend to like someone!)

You also largely stop worrying about what other people think about you, and you do what the hell you like. I have spent much of my life in this space anyway, but I understand for others it’s something of a renaissance. It’s very freeing.

Speaking personally, I like myself more, and I choose my friends more carefully (oh the joy of not having to pretend to like someone!). I feel happier in my own skin, even if it’s not as pert as it used to be, and I laugh more easily. I am better company; I am kinder, softer. That hard, combative edge that used to make me challenging to spend time with, I think, is blunted, and I’m better for it.

Along with being kinder, however, comes the wisdom and the grace to say no to things more often –an act of being kind to oneself. Particularly over doing crap that you’re supposed to like but secretly hate. Yay for that! Bugger FOMO, I’m all for the JOMO. It’s also a great way to stop feeling resentful too.

So is 50 the new 30?

No, it’s better. People talk about 50 being the new 30 – I don’t subscribe to that. Maybe there are parallels in terms of what is deemed acceptable behaviour, but the experience and wisdom that comes with living for 50 years can’t be crammed into 30. It just can’t.

I pity the 30-year olds. Life was so much harder at that age, fumbling my way through life

That’s why 50 is better. Not only do we still get to act like young ‘uns if we want now, we have wisdom and life experience on our side. We can do all the things now that you can when you’re 30 – take a gap year or five, launch a business, sleep around, have kids even if you must – but we do it with a bit more nous.

I pity the 30-year olds. Life was so much harder at that age, fumbling my way through life, trying to be a parent and career woman and try to strap on a social life, and pretend to have it all when inside, you’re actually bewildered and exhausted.

And being 50 means fewer people argue with you too, because you’re older and you won’t stand for it, you have authority. How is that ever going to be a bad thing?! On the flip side, you can actually also become an elder, someone who hands down experience and wisdom – if asked – passing on the baton with love.

As for embracing being 50…

When I was approaching my 40th birthday I thought I was fine about it. But I wasn’t. It turned out days before the big date that I actually hated the whole idea of leaving my 30s and I hid away at home, had a takeaway with The Boyfriend and cried. But by the time I was 41 I’d got over myself and had an absolute humdinger of a party with champagne, casino tables and cocaine. A Rabelaisian orgy to be proud of.

I’m going to make it a tradition and have a 51st party, go crackers next year. Hitting 50 feels like a rite of passage though and I think David Bowie summed it up perfectly.

“Ageing is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been.”

Amen to that.

Main photo: Erika Szostak

Sam Harrington-Lowe

Sam is Silver’s founder and editor-in-chief. She’s largely responsible for organising all the things, but still finds time to do the odd bit of writing. Not enough though. Send help.

The post No, 50 is not ‘the new 30’. It’s better than that appeared first on Silver Magazine.