We’re all feeling a bit mad after the pandemic, aren’t we? It feels like everything has changed, but nothing has changed at the same time. If you’re not feeling ‘quite right’, don’t worry. You’re not the only one. But are you burnt out after the pandemic, or finding other mental health issues rearing their heads?

Lockdown was amazing for some people. I’ve seen friends – normally under massive pressure in busy offices, slogging through a daily commute – thrive in lockdown, working at home. Free from the shackles of their nine-to-five, they had the time to do yoga, plan good nutritious food. And have a productive, uninterrupted working day, followed by self-care activities and hobbies in the evening. 

And for many of those furloughed, it was just as positive. With time at home, spent with children, family, pets. Just time to breathe, and engage in enriching activities like writing, crafts, or sunbathing. Time spent living, not working. Complete bliss.

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Not everyone had a great lockdown though

However, we can’t ignore that this wasn’t the case for everyone. A third of adults reported smoking more and drinking more to cope with their mental decline during lockdowns. 

Many struggled with the lack of social connection, particularly those living alone. We had to cope with the loneliness of missing close friends and family for months at a time. 

Now it’s been over a year since Covid restrictions were lifted, and almost eight months since the need to legally self-isolate was removed. 

But it certainly hasn’t been an overnight return to ‘normal’. And reactions have been mixed: some glad to be reunited with an abundance of human connection. While others have been missing the freedoms of time that came with lockdowns. 

So, how has our mental wellbeing been impacted in the post-pandemic world? 

Making sense of post-pandemic life

We spoke to psychologist Gabrielle Treanor to try and make sense of what she’s called the ‘post-pandemic emergence’. 

Treanor discusses how throughout the pandemic, the majority of us were in a state of permanent survival. This was a time categorised by anxiety and fear. We were always on our toes, worried about paying bills, our health, the health of loved ones, death, and loneliness. 

In the post-pandemic shift, we’ve come out of some of that anxiety surrounding coronavirus. However, we’ve been thrown straight into new fears. The war in Ukraine, adapting to a Brexit society, and even the emergence of Monkey Pox. 

Psychologist Gabrielle Treanor (Image: gabrielletreanor.com)

Our energy stores have been heavily depleted, Treanor says. Now we have no resources to fall back on when facing these new threats. Many of us are simply burnt out.

Treanor explains that a lot of the time during the pandemic, we felt we weren’t thinking straight, often distracted and tired from overthinking situations, or from simply having nothing else to do but think all day, stuck in the house. 

we have no resources to fall back on when facing these new threats. Many of us are simply burnt out.

Although our freedom of movement has returned, largely, we are still coping with the effects of such a massive change in lifestyle, and many people are struggling to re-adapt.

How can we learn to adapt again?

Decision making

From being stuck in the house for months on end, we’ve learnt not to make rash decisions. After having had the time to slow down, many of us were able to take a step back and consider our lives and decisions. Remembering this in post-pandemic life can serve us by taking time when it comes to making big choices. 

Valuing what matters

We’ve learnt to pare things back, and focus on the things that really matter to us. Whether that’s spending quality time with family, or seeing friends that you don’t speak to enough, or making time for ourselves, we need to hold on to that. We have a better grasp on what we value as individuals, and should remember that going forward. 

Resources

Put some time into rebuilding your resources. When we become emotionally and mentally exhausted from overthinking, anxieties, and uncertainty, our resources deplete. Take time to recoup when you feel burnt out. 

Creating space in which you can recover is vital to rebuilding your emotional resources. Find a safe environment, where you feel free from responsibilities, like work. Relax and do what you enjoy. Spending time in nature is also a sure way to reduce stress and benefit your wellbeing.

Staying ‘mentally healthy’

In such turbulent times it’s important to maintain your mental health, so here are our tips to be as ‘mentally healthy’ as you can. 

• Focus on your hobbies – make sure to dedicate time to doing the things you love. Working on crafts, sport, playing an instrument, or reading.
• Keep track of tasks – keep a database of your tasks and break them down, so that you can see them clearly and it doesn’t take up unnecessary mental resources thinking and planning in your mind.
• Connect with loved ones – after so long of not being able to socialise, reaching out and spending time with friends can feel quite stilted.
• Reach out for professional help – If you’re struggling, here are some links for further help,

Mind, Anxiety UK, Mental health.gov – where to find resources. 

Lana Hall

Lana can usually be found spinning her collection of records, or writing odd poems in her phone notes. Her mixer of choice is a ginger beer, and you’ll never find her away from the sea for more than a few weeks.

The post Are you feeling burnt out? How to get back on track… appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Once upon a time, I was an expat cliché. I still had the usual worries about bills and boyfriends that I couldn’t leave behind in Sydney, but this was sweetened by the fact I was working as a motoring journalist in Dubai and Abu Dhabi. I saw obscenely expensive cars so often, I thought nothing of parking next to a Lamborghini Gallardo at the supermarket. When I wasn’t driving around in my gas-guzzling Mitsubishi Pajero SUV, I reviewed all manner of expensive cars.

Irresponsible highlights of this era include barrelling a Bugatti Veyron at 180mph on a public road, looning in Lamborghinis around Qatar’s motorcycle track, and monkeying about in a Mercedes SLK on the Monaco road where Grace Kelly died. My carbon footprint must have looked like a coal miner’s lung.

A hybrid virgin in the Middle East

In 2010, Julian Millward-Hopkins, the late, great Mercedes Middle East PR manager, put me behind the wheel of a hybrid Merc. He was honest enough to tell me he wasn’t sure how many would be sold in the Emirates unless a sheikh set an example and bought one, but it was important to at least try to create a market for hybrids in the land where oil reigns supreme.

By the time I left the Middle East for London in 2011 there were few signs that the UAE was embracing greener motoring. Fast-forward to 2021 and there are only about 4,000 electric cars on UAE roads, compared to nearly 300,000 pure-electric cars on UK, and more than 600,000 if including plug-in hybrids.

Embracing electric

As I look wistfully at my blue, petrol-powered Volkswagen Polo on the drive, I know my next car will probably be electric. You can’t fight progress, despite valid arguments about the often-unsavoury supply chains for electric car components, or whether it’ll all be a waste of time if we charge our cars with electricity from dirty power stations.

But what if I got in early and went electric sooner rather than later? And what if I got myself a really awesome option? Curious, I found myself exploring the Tesla UK website. My only real-world experience with a Tesla was last year, when, bizarrely, I went to Switzerland for the day to tour a food processing factory for a story. After flying to Zurich (remember planes?), I got a train to Uzwil where I was picked up from the station in a black Tesla Model X. It was slick, the quality control was insanely perfect, and it was so quiet, I felt like I was in a mobile hearing test booth.

But for my virtual shopping trip, I thought the Model S saloon might be more suitable than a Model X – I cannot think of the last time I needed to transport seven adults anywhere – and I started looking at my options. Let’s see if I can have top-of-the-line everything in my Tesla, I thought, clicked on ‘Model S Plaid’ and got busy.

So what comes with the Tesla Model Plaid S?

If I was to eschew the Plaid options, the base model dual motor all-wheel-drive Model S would set me back £87,980. But I wanted a Plaid, an all-wheel-drive with three motors, with a starting price of £118,930 and estimated delivery for the end of 2022. If I must wait more than a year for my new car, I may as well make it a good ‘un.

The stats are pretty impressive. A top speed of 200mph, a 0-60mph sprint of 1.99 seconds, 1,020 horsepower, and a single-charge range of 405 miles. In a country the size of the UK, that would be ample for most journeys so range anxiety wouldn’t be a massive problem, especially as more electric car charging stations are appearing. I regularly see a Tesla juicing up in the Asda car park. Perhaps they can’t afford Waitrose after handing over their life savings to Elon Musk.

A top speed of 200mph, a 0-60mph sprint of 1.99 seconds, 1,020 horsepower, and a single-charge range of 405 miles

My Plaid would grant me access to more than 25,000 superchargers globally so I could top it up to a 200-mile range in 15 minutes. The trip planner looked embarrassingly easy to use, with the website suggesting a 208-mile jaunt from London to Manchester and currently less achievable journeys, such as Munich to Zurich (196 miles), Amsterdam to Brussels (131 miles) and Brussels to my beloved Paris (194 miles). For anyone who has experienced Google Maps rage after being sent down a country lane the width of a pencil, this would be a boon.

The cost of personalisation

For my £118,930, I’d get as standard a pearl white multi-coat paint job, 19-inch wheel and an all-black carbon fibre interior. Bargain! But I wanted more and started clicking the most expensive options – soon I created a red multi-coat Plaid (£2,500) with a black and white carbon fibre interior (£2,000).

Then I got really carried away and added £3,400 worth of ‘Enhanced Autopilot’ to give me auto lane change, that freaky self-parking function, and ‘Summon’, which helps you locate your car. As someone who once spent nearly an hour in a Sydney carpark in 40-degree heat trying to find an un-air-conditioned Mitsubishi Colt, this was appealing. Click!

While I was at it, I figured £6,800 was a price worth paying for ‘Full Self-Driving Capability’, although the fine print made it clear I would not be able to simply sit in the back with a bottle of champagne and a trashy novel while my Plaid chauffeured me around. For now, my £6,800 would prevent me from running traffic lights and stop signs.

Tediously, “the currently enabled features require active driver supervision and do not make the vehicle autonomous” but I would receive updates via the car’s software in the years ahead. I’d basically be buying a giant laptop on wheels.

Stars and their classic cars

After the extras… savings!

After my clicking rampage, it was the moment of truth – my Tesla Model S Plaid would cost me £130,280, or a mere £125,280 “After Est. Savings”. I’m always up for a bargain so I investigated how much I could save on this beast. I clicked on ‘I commute to London’ because one day I might want to take my new Tesla from the wilds of Zone 4 into glamorous Zone 1. This turned out to be a savings bonanza – I’d get £9,000 off because of the London congestion incentive and the computer estimated I’d save £5,000 a year in fuel. This made it a £116,280 car.

Like a mad impetuous fool, I clicked on ‘Continue to payment’. To my surprise, the only money that was due today was £100. Somehow, I figured the deposit would be a bit higher than the cost of a purple sequined jumpsuit I saw on sale in Monsoon today.

That was, obviously, the point where I bailed out of this absurd online excursion. I may have at least £100 in the bank but if I had the remaining £116,180 kicking about, I’d probably be really boring and throw it at the mortgage. And continue tootling around South London in the petrol-powered blue Polo…

Georgia Lewis

In a career that has spanned Australia, the Middle East and the UK, Georgia has written about all sorts of things, including sex, cars, food, oil and gas, insurance, fashion, travel, workplace safety, health, religious affairs, glass and glazing… When she’s not writing words for fun and profit, she can usually be found with a glass of something French and red in her hand.

The post Taking the Tesla S Plaid for a virtual test drive appeared first on Silver Magazine.

…THE NAKED TRUTH. OK Boomer, let’s find out exactly what you and Generation X are REALLY like…

The last fifty years have seen a seismic shift in our social patterns and behaviours. There’s been enormous development in technology, medicine, and wellbeing. We’ve walked on the moon, burnt bras, dropped acid, and danced all night. We’ve embraced punk and spiritualism in equal measures. Travelled the world, fought the winter of discontent and the poll tax, and so much more.

We asked you about absolutely everything, from sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll to religion, money, and family, and everything in between

When I was in my late 40s, I started to look at magazines that were aimed at my age group and beyond, and I was dismayed. How could we be so misunderstood? I couldn’t relate to the gentle (or genteel) content I understood was now apparently my destiny. I can’t knit to save my life, I don’t like cakes, and I still go to festivals. Where was my tribe?

It seems I was not alone, thank goodness. Mature people say they are patronised in the media and on television; they feel invisible, unseen. So I decided that someone should do something about it. And, well, if you want a job doing etc…

So we launched Silver.

From the get-go I knew we needed to understand our readers. And there’s only one way to do this – we asked you. We asked you about absolutely everything, from sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll to religion, money, and family, and everything in between. It was a massive survey, we asked upwards of 10,000 people to answer hundreds of questions. And my word, you came through. So here you are in all your glory. The naked truth…

THE SURVEY

We wanted to cover every aspect of people’s lives, but quickly found the survey became too long, so we broke it down into four parts. Nobody was going to make it to the end alive otherwise. The respondents were brilliant though; they completed around 95% of the whole four parts, with only a few questions skipped.

Pretty much each question ran ‘tick all that apply’. So if you’re reading the results and the various options come to more than 100%, that’s why.

SO WHO ARE YOU?

The majority of respondents (81%) were aged 50-69, with the biggest chunk aged 60-64. You’re mostly White British (81%) with the balance being from multiple other ethnicities, such as African Black, British Black and Asian, mixed race etc. This ethnic split represents the UK national average, or thereabouts. And as we pretty much expected, 78% of responders were female, with 20% being male, and 2% preferring not to say.

More than half of you have no religion. The highest score for those who were religious was for Christian denominations (33%), although in the ‘Other’ box there were quite a few who named spiritualism as a path. No Jedis apparently.

You’re largely a Conservative bunch, with blues taking 34% of the votes here. Labour second with 18%, Lib Dems at 14%, Greens 10% and SNP 4%. A further 20% of respondents felt unrepresented or preferred not to say.

AGEING AND AGEISM

Photo: Erika Szostak

We were thrilled at how positive the responses in this section were. A giant 70% of you are happy with the wisdom that age brings and following closely behind this is ‘being grateful to be here’, at 62%. More than half of you (52%) said that you’ve improved with age, and whilst there are a fair few people who are exhausted, 51% said they were excited to keep learning new things. And gratifyingly, nobody ticked the ‘I wish I was dead’ box.

Unfortunately, whilst you lot are mostly happy with your age, it seems like the rest of the world is still to catch up, as ageism is alive and kicking. At work and whilst job hunting were the main areas of concern, but every option received some votes, with respondents reporting ageism whilst shopping, in politics, within the family, and in social situations.

A few comments identified key issues – one respondent had been told they were too old for a mortgage, and another said they were fed up with receiving emails or marketing that was patronising, “… as if you get stupid as you age.”

YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS

Again, it’s a pretty upbeat outlook here. 15% of you have either met or exceeded your hopes and dreams, and a whopping 69% are mostly happy with life. ‘I have new goals, my priorities have changed’ drew a 58% result, and 24% said that although they hadn’t met their goals and dreams yet, they were still working on it. A contented 15% said though they hadn’t hit their life targets, they were ok with that and happy with their lot. 34% said that they were excited for their next adventure.

Only 6% said they hadn’t met their goals or dreams and were sad or angry about that, and just 2% of you said you’re not happy with your life.

FAMILY LIFE

A positive 45% of you said you felt valued as an elder in your family, and the same percentage said you had a happy family. It was encouraging to see just 5% reporting feeling overlooked or neglected, although that’s still 5%.

One respondent put it, “I am often expected to be the responsible one, but at the same time, my children and siblings don’t take any interest in my life.” And the same percentage (5%) said that their family was unhappy, with lots of drama. 20% of you with adult children said they were still living at home, bearing out our understanding that often, big kids just can’t afford to move out anymore.

Although lots of you have no pets, we are a nation of dog lovers – it’s official – with dogs drubbing cats 33% to 22%.

COSMETIC SURGERY

When it comes to aesthetics and cosmetic surgery, most of you (60%) haven’t had any work done, but unsurprisingly, most common is Botox and/or fillers. A small percentage (2%) had braved an actual facelift, but higher on the list were chemical peels and dental work.

Nearly 20% of respondents said they’d like to try some things but couldn’t afford them – and in the comments they drilled down further to specifics; bingo wings were a concern, breast surgery, scar removal, and hair removal/implants featured.

Photo: Erika Szostak

TRAVEL AND HOLIDAYS

When it comes to holidays, the majority of you head for a break once a year. Around a quarter of you have two holidays a year, and a meaty 10% go for three or more!

A staggering 100% of you take holidays in the UK. We’re not sure if that’s as a result of the pandemic or just a love of UKations. A bit of both perhaps. You like to travel with partners, with friends, and with family; you’re a sociable lot. Really interestingly, the option of leaping on a plane and working it all out when you get there (38%) beats package holidays (28%) and even the all-inclusive (33%).

Rail trips are popular, with standard rail and upmarket options like the Orient Express gathering a collective 25% of you, but cruises were surprisingly low at around 15%, easily beaten by coach trips, caravans and motorhomes, and even camping. Perhaps everyone is still a bit nervous of cruises?

TECH

You’re a tech-loving lot. 95% of you have a smartphone, over half of you have other mobile devices, and 32% love new gadgets. Tech in the home and the car is popular – which includes TVs, laptops, gaming consoles etc, and not one person ticked the ‘I hate tech’ box.

Most of you have no home adaptations, but interestingly, the two biggest hitters in the Homes section were CCTV and security systems.

MUSIC

Music is huge, with every single type of music getting votes. Rock, 70s, and 80s making the biggest numbers, but other notables were indie, 60s, classical, vintage, and jazz. Also house/dance music made a good show. Least favourite was folk music with just 10%, despite, as the great Louis Armstrong said: “All music is folk music. I ain’t never heard a horse sing a song.”

For live music, pub gigs and arena gigs are the most popular, and festivals are the third favourite option, with over a third of you still pulling on your sparkly wellies. Jazz clubs are also pretty popular, with just under 20% of you ticking this box.

Consuming music, and we’re back in the tech zone, with only 15% of you enjoying music on a traditional hi-fi. Spotify is the most popular channel, at 55%, just pipping radio at 50%. And how you listen to music is also techy – phone/headphones, laptop, Bluetooth speakers are all equally popular – and in the comments, Amazon Prime, Alexa, Sonos, internet radio and iPads all got a mention.

Both vinyl (20%) and CDs (30%) were still relatively popular though, with the CDs outperforming iTunes at 25%. Cassettes got a zero!

ENTERTAINMENT

Photo: Erika Szostak

When it comes to heading out, eating out is top of the list with 85% of you loving being fed. You also love to explore the UK – train trips, walking, visiting beaches, and sightseeing all got special mentions in the comments.

The biggies are museums, art galleries, National Trust venues and gardens, train trips, and visiting stately homes. Sporting events like football or rugby were lower down the list at around 10-15%, but that’s probably because of our female/male ratio of respondents.

Volunteering is on your list too, with most of you giving back to communities in the way of charity events, sponsored events, animal charities, and volunteering with vulnerable groups and people. The most popular option here was community gardening projects, at around 28%.

SOCIAL MEDIA

You love social media. Top of the list with 95% is WhatsApp, and Facebook second at 86%. An honestly surprising third place goes to YouTube, with 81% of you. Something we’d definitely like to look into more – are you watching music? Are you watching films and documentaries, or following influencers and bloggers? We shall explore further.

Of the other biggies, Instagram is next, with 57% of you using it, and Twitter comes in at 38%. Not one tick for TikTok.

The majority of you spend quite a lot of time online; more of you find content because you’re actually looking for it than because someone else has shared it. And about half of you read a news channel every day, with almost all of you choosing the BBC as your preferred option.

COMMUNICATION

90% of you like to text, but an encouraging 86% also still love meeting up in person. Phone calls beat video calls 67% to 43% – although the high number of video calls would seem from comments to be something new since lockdown; but an interesting quarter of you don’t like talking on the phone at all.

TV, RADIO, GAMING

No massive surprises here – drama, films, box sets, news, streaming services like Netflix etc – all popular. 20% of you are still making it out to the flicks. 5% don’t watch TV at all.

When it comes to radio, 80% are tuning in, but an interesting 35% are now into listening to podcasts, citing ‘chit-chat’ as something they like. Comedy takes top billing here, at 55%, but drama, plays, science, and news all popular. Quizzes got a special mention in the comments a couple of times. Overall radio and podcasts are alive and kicking.

Not massively popular, gaming. 35% of you are happy to play games on your phones but wouldn’t sit at a desk or monitor to play something more committed. 50% of you actively rejected gaming. We had one lovely commenter who said they had a favourite game, which was Lexulous (a crossword game) and we wondered if responders were thinking things like World of Warcraft or GTA as ‘gaming’, rather than quizzes or Scrabble or so on.

HOBBIES AND CRAFTS

Unsurprisingly plenty of you love crafting and hobbies, apparently unless it’s model building, playing an instrument, stamp collecting, or train spotting!

There were so many choices I’ll just pick out some of the notable results: top of the list at 67% was reading books in print; then walking/rambling (57%); surprisingly, cookery was next at 53%; making art such as painting, drawing, and sculpture was then joint with reading books on a device, both at 43%; and crafts such as knitting, crochet etc were around the same as dancing, wine tasting and gardening. And I’ve got to tell you this – we had one dogger. If you don’t know what that is, google it, but brace yourself.

FASHION

When it comes to brands, around 40% said they don’t care about fancy brands, and the biggest box ticked was the ‘mixed bag’ at 50%; the bag being a mixture of high end, cheap and cheerful, and second-hand.

You love to get dressed up, but prefer a reason for doing so, like a lunch, or special outing. When you’re at home it’s comfy clothes, but 10% of you never leave the house without looking immaculate. When it comes to choosing clothing and jewellery, you definitely look for quality. Aside from all the glamourous lot though, there’s about 27% of you who just don’t give a fig about this sort of thing anymore.

SEX AND SEXUALITY

Photo: Erika Szostak

Surveys can often throw out surprising outcomes and this one is no exception; 91% of respondents selected ‘straight’ for sexual orientation. 5% are bisexual, 4% are asexual, 2% chose ‘other’… but nobody ticked ‘gay’.

However, a not insignificant 17.5% skipped this question, which has intrigued us, especially as respondents had the option of ticking the ‘none of your damn business’ box but nobody did.

Are there gay people who have been traumatized by homophobic abuse or a lack of acceptance and still feel under threat? More research is required here, and in the meantime, we are committed to including powerful gay voices in Silver.

We’ve got 64% who masturbate, and 38% describing themselves as ‘sexually adventurous’. Almost a quarter of you use sex toys (23%) or porn (22%) either during masturbation or with a partner, 11% have tried or continue to partake in BDSM activities and enjoy it, while 5.66% gave BDSM a go but didn’t like it.

11% of you have tried sex parties or orgies, while 4% are active swingers. Engagine with sex workers is low on the agenda, with just under 2% having seen a sex worker in the past, and nobody saying they currently see one.

RELATIONSHIPS

Around 80% of you are in some kind of monogamous relationship. None of our respondents identify as being polyamorous, or in an open or kinky lifestyle relationship, but 2% have a casual ‘friends-with-benefits’ arrangement. When one includes the sex responses above, it’s clear there are a lot of couples still very active and adventurous in bed. Although perhaps not even in the actual bed, by the sounds of it! You frisky lot.

SEXUAL ASSAULT

As ever, the figures on sexual assault make difficult reading. Nearly half of you have experienced some kind of sexual abuse or assault. 35% have been raped or subjected to sexual abuse by someone known to them, and 17% have experienced this at the hands of a stranger.

Just over half (51%) said there should be more conversation about these issues, although 10% say they still feel awkward talking about it with family and friends. About a quarter of you (22%) believe we are finally talking enough. Only 2% think we talk too much about sexual assault and domestic violence, and 4% take what is probably a fringe view these days, which is that it’s a private matter that should stay private.

MENOPAUSE

Plenty of people (40%) think that menopause issues should be discussed more openly. A further 29% think we have come a long way, but there is still a way to go.

There is an entirely expected range of responses to the question about how the menopause is going/how it went. 38% say that it’s not the best but it isn’t the worst either, 19% said it was better than they thought it would be, 8% said it didn’t affect them that much, and 12% are really suffering, saying they couldn’t or cannot cope, and the experience was, or is, ‘awful’.

Photo: Erika Szostak

So how is everyone coping? HRT is the most popular at 34%, followed by exercise (23%), natural supplements (17%), lifestyle changes such as quitting smoking or cutting out the booze (17%), taking antidepressants (12%), and diet change (13%).

Then we asked the men about their experiences of living with menopausal women. A whopping 82% said this question was not applicable to them. Thankfully none of them said they didn’t care because it was ‘her problem’, and over half were sympathetic and supportive. 2% said the menopause had changed the dynamic of the relationship and their lives quite a bit.

EXERCISE

Among the responses, there were cyclists, skateboarders and rollerskaters, snowboarders, skiers and climbers, and Zumba fans. But by far the most popular form of exercise at 43% was dog-walking.

We also have plenty of gym junkies, and yoga and Pilate’s devotees (26%). Nobody ticked the ‘marathon/distance running’ box, which surprised us. And in the comments section, we had plenty of people pipe up with the activities that we missed on the (already long!) list of options, such as canoeing, canyoning, trekking, rambling, hiking, serious gardening, Powerplate, wing chun, boxing, and, most excellently, ‘mosh pit at gigs’.

COVID

Nearly a quarter of you (24%) have had Covid, and 63% know someone who has had Covid. Of these, sadly, 18% died.

There isn’t much scepticism about vaccines or the effectiveness of lockdowns among our readers, with 86% having the vaccine. Only 2% have refused, and a small 4% don’t think Covid is as serious as most people think it is.

55% think Covid is more serious than most people think it is, and 45% are not sure if we should be going back to normal. Just 8% think restrictions should have been lifted months ago.

ALCOHOL

Next, we raise a glass of our preferred beverages. 43% still love a drink while 12% are teetotal and 4% count themselves as being in recovery. 37% describe themselves as ‘social drinkers’, and 29% say they drink rarely.

But a proportion of you do have concerns about your alcohol intake with 6% worried about their drinking and the behaviour that this can lead to, and 4% are concerned they might be an alcoholic.

RECREATIONAL DRUGS

14% of you smoke weed. Cocaine, a prolific powder for many of us in the 80s and 90s, is still taken by 8%, while 12% take amphetamines and 6% take hallucinogens.

Although 42% don’t do drugs at all now, 24% said they used to. One respondent gave us a detailed history: “I tried everything that was available before I cut out drink and weed in the early 2000s. I sometimes take edibles and have tried microdosing.”

Then there was this intriguing litany: “Not for many years, but largely MDMA/ecstasy, cocaine, hash, skunk, LSD, mushrooms, speed, opium – and a stint of recreational Voltarol.”

Voltarol?!

Photo: Erika Szostak

MENTAL HEALTH

Mental health has rightly become a more mainstream discussion, and this is reflected by the 59% who say they take mental health seriously. One respondent said they take mental health seriously but find it hard to take care of it. 8% identified as neurodivergent and the comments made it clear that more conversation is needed around this.

There’s a range of in-between attitudes to all mental health conditions, but 8% still say a stoic attitude and stiff upper lip is more beneficial for coping.

PHYSICAL HEALTH

Hearts, hearing, and mobility unsurprisingly feature high, but chronic fatigue – post-viral or otherwise – fibromyalgia, and mental health were all flagged up.

22% said they have a disability, which for the purposes of this survey includes hidden disabilities. In the comments, people shared their disabilities and health issues, which included Type 2 diabetes, thyroid conditions, depression, anxiety and chronic fatigue from cancer treatment, fibromyalgia, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure.

Stereotypes about terrible British teeth may be overstated with 71% of people taking good care of their teeth, although 22% can’t remember when they last saw a dentist.

Eyesight is important to most of you, with 78% going to the optician regularly, although 10% have been wearing the same specs for a decade!

TREATMENTS AND THERAPIES

Nearly half of you like some quality salon time with 47% enjoying treatments such as manicures, pedicures, and trips to the hairdresser, while 41% are soap-and-water kinda people with occasional treats. When it comes to self-care, 33% like to spoil themselves with nice products, 20% can’t be bothered, and, somewhat depressingly, 4% don’t think they deserve nice things.

Our survey found massage to be the most popular alternative therapy at 51%. Meditation came in second at 46%. Outliers in the survey included psychedelics/microdosing, touch therapy, and eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR).

“I have seen osteopaths and chiropractors in the past with good effect. Acupuncture and EMDR were less useful, but I used EMDR to good effect via YouTube when my dog died,” said one responder.

MENTAL HEALTH THERAPY

There’s a positive attitude here, reflected in the survey results with 76% of you having seen a therapist or counsellor in the past, 4.5% currently seeing a therapist or counsellor, and a further 4.5% planning to do so. However, the survey also found that 13.33% don’t believe in therapy.

RETIREMENT

Everyone wants to retire. Almost a third of you (31.6%) have retired and another 31.6% are planning to do so in the next five years. A further 21% have started thinking about their retirement. And we’re really feeling the 16% who wish they could retire.

MIDLIFE CRISIS

This section elicited the biggest response, with nearly half sure or thinking they’ve had a midlife crisis. And yes, there were flashy cars and expensive holiday homes.

But a very definite 52.63% told us they have not gone through a midlife crisis. That said, 32% called for it to be seen as a positive thing, and nearly half said it was not a joke.

The causes of a midlife crisis are many and varied. The main cause was the physical changes of ageing (83%), as well as not feeling attractive anymore (56%).

Children leaving the nest, not feeling fulfilled with life, not feeling relevant in the world, and/or not feeling content in a marriage or relationship are all factors. Looking back over one’s career is another cause, including not achieving career goals (28%), and almost the same number hating their job and simply wanting a change.

7% filed for divorce, sold things to fund a lifestyle change, found a new partner, or specifically started a relationship with a younger person. In the comments, both traveling and going out partying again was mentioned as a way of recapturing that feeling of youth.

There are optimists too, such as the person who “did get divorced in my early 50s and have been happier since”, the woman who became “a happier person” after divorcing her husband, and the cheerful soul who described this time as “not a crisis, a rediscovery of self”.

ARE YOU HAPPY?

When we asked this, we got a range of responses. It’s not all joy and optimism – 33.33% worry about the future, 17% feel anxious, and 11% feel like an imposter whose life is not the one they planned out for themselves. 11% are eager to get midlife over and done with, and 6% are either angry, depressed, or bored.

However, to end on a positive note, more than 80% of you are largely happy, with 39% looking forward to what the future brings.

Tl;dr

If this has been way too long to read, here’s a quick recap of the things that stood out.

• You’re largely a positive lot
• Most of you feel valued by your family
• You love tech
• YouTube is surprisingly popular
• You’re a sexy bunch
• Spiritualism is popular
• Mental and physical health is taken seriously
• Home security is important
• Over a third of you are embracing podcasts
• Midlife crises should be taken more seriously
• One of you enjoys dogging

Credits for the Naked Truth shoot

Photographer: Erika Szostak
Photography assistant: Matt Ryan
Hair and makeup: LoveYoHair
Models: Adrian Southby, Bella Kirkus, Lesley Burdett
Shot on location: Copperdollar Studios, Brighton

Sam Harrington-Lowe

Sam is Silver’s founder and editor-in-chief. She’s largely responsible for organising all the things, but still finds time to do the odd bit of writing. Not enough though. Send help.

The post The Naked Truth. What is Generation X really like? appeared first on Silver Magazine.

…and how ageing in the music industry is no bad thing. Gary Kemp talks to SILVER about his life today.

Responsible for some of the 1980s’ most memorable songs, including True, Gold, and Through the Barricades, there’s no denying that Gary Kemp is a talented songwriter. Now, with INSOLO, his first solo album since 1995’s Little Bruises, Kemp’s lyrics have taken on a more reflective stance.

He explores the passage of time and the concept of facing up to “other incarnations of myself”. These ‘other incarnations’ span decades. Spandau Ballet was formed in 1979, when Kemp was 20. The band had 23 hit singles, all written by Kemp, spending a combined total of more than 500 weeks in the UK charts, and achieving over 25 million album sales worldwide.

Today, at 61, Kemp explains that he experienced something of an epiphany when writing the new album. “I realised that I never had to lie again in a song,” he says. “When you’re a kid writing lyrics, you’re making most of it up. You’re listening to other songs and you think, ‘Oh, I need to write a song about that subject’. But when you get to a certain age, you’ve lived through most of those subjects.”

I think a lot of the words [on the album] were inspired by me feeling my own mortality, about having more behind me than in front of me…

While this could, arguably, make the songwriting process somewhat easier, it could also evoke a certain wistfulness – something that Kemp isn’t afraid to embrace. “I think a lot of the words [on the album] were inspired by me feeling my own mortality, about having more behind me than in front of me and trying to come to terms with that.”

Is this something he worries about a lot? “My kids make me feel young,” he admits. “And the whole music business makes you feel young. But the problem is, is in the music business, you’re also constantly being shown younger versions of yourself.” He continues: “I’m still being critiqued on my 22-year-old self. You know, people are still making judgements on the music that I made as a 20-year-old.”

Kemp explores this theme in one particularly poignant track on the album, I Remember You. “It’s about me looking back on a younger, stronger, sharper version of myself. At times with regret, but at other times with longing.”

Can music improve your cognitive function as you age?

Lockdown project

He wrote the album during lockdown in 2020, the situation allowing him to explore the feelings of isolation, and reflect on the past. “It was definitely a great escape for me. Because on the other side of my life, I had the pressures of the family being together every day; I was doing home schooling. And we were being inundated with bad news and more bad news; I was just at my wits’ end. And I remember going into the piano room and writing the track Too Much. At the end of the day, I just wanted to protect my family.”

Kemp lives in London with his second wife, costume designer Lauren Barber, and their three sons. “I’ve been with my wife for the past 20 years. But there are versions of myself that she doesn’t know, that maybe have no connection to me now,” he muses.

Has this deep dive into the past make him think about touring with Spandau Ballet again? And perhaps putting their well-publicised differences behind them? He is diplomatic in his response.

“There is this constant demand to get Spandau Ballet back together,” he says. “But we don’t completely enjoy being in the same room as each other. I think unless you can be creative in a studio and do new music together, then just going out doing the stuff that you wrote years ago isn’t enough to be a band.”

There is this constant demand to get Spandau Ballet back together, but we don’t completely enjoy being in the same room as each other

Kemp describes being on the road again when they reformed (once in 2009 and again, briefly, in 2018) as being ‘stressful’, and something that he doesn’t need right now. “It would be great fun to play on stage with the band because we make a sound that was really good, and unique, and special,” he admits, “and I’m really proud of that. But I think what Spandau fans don’t understand is that life isn’t as easy as just us appearing on stage.”

It’s not as if Kemp has much time for a Spandau Ballet reunion, anyway. As well as his solo material, he’s busy touring as guitarist and co-lead vocalist in Nick Mason’s Saucerful of Secrets, formed by Pink Floyd drummer Mason to perform early Pink Floyd material. He also has a successful podcast, Rockonteurs, with Saucerful of Secrets bassist Guy Pratt. Each week they invite music industry royalty from the 1980s to the present day, to discuss “the real stories behind real music.” Previous guests have included John Taylor, Gary Numan, Jon Bon Jovi, and Noel Gallagher. As well as younger brother Martin, with whom he’s always been close.

Photo: Malcolm Venville

Calling on industry names

It’s no surprise that Kemp is still very well connected in the music world. In fact, he was able to call on some of his industry mates to contribute to INSOLO. Among them Queen’s Roger Taylor playing drums on the aforementioned Too Much, and The Feeling’s Richard Jones and brother Martin Kemp playing bass on some tracks too. Nick Mason also worked on the album, and has clearly been a recent influence in Kemp’s career.

“He opened me up to a different audience, I suppose, which has given the ability to be able to put more complex musical arrangements on this record. I really felt that now, more than ever, I had to make some new music that represented me now, and that wasn’t like songs that I write for other people, or the songs I wrote for Tony [Hadley] to sing. These are songs that could only be sung by me.”

When you get to a certain age, I think you need to write a song about getting older, and about losing a lot of your physical power

So does this album represent a departure into different musical territory? “In 1983, it just so happened that at that particular time, I wrote True and that changed our lives. I found a sound with that band that I really liked. But it’s not who I am completely.”

What does he think about today’s artists? “I’m a hugely eclectic lover of music, and there are current artists like St. Vincent, for example, who I think are extraordinary. But I hear stories about people writing songs that go straight to the chorus because they just want to get it on TikTok. And there are the record company executives who are utterly depressed at having to just sign TikTok songs. I’m not in that world. I never grew up in that world.”

With all this looking back at the past, is he happy with life? “Yeah, everything’s fine. When you get to a certain age, I think you need to write a song about getting older, and about losing a lot of your physical power. And I’m hoping that people will find something in that.

“At the moment, I’m really happy in the world that I’m in. Which isn’t being in Spandau Ballet, but it’s still respecting everything we did. And wanting to be creative in a more autonomous way, really.”

INSOLO is out now

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The post Gary Kemp interview: ageing in the music industry is no bad thing appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Based on a number of factors, such as the weather, the month, people’s financial situations and the comedown from Christmas, the third Monday of January earns a spot as the day most people are likely to feel depressed. Yep, it’s Blue Monday. The charity Samaritans are raising awareness about the importance of talking by promoting ‘Brew Monday’, campaigning for people to reach out and have a conversation over a cup of tea, whether in person or virtually.

The impact of reaching out

Our story

*Name(s) have been changed for privacy

Last week, I was sat on my sofa having my weekly Facetime catch up with a family member. While we were deep in conversation, I heard an almighty crash from outside, which was also heard by my sister-in-law on the phone. Concerned, I whipped open my curtains and witnessed a hit and run.

A van had reversed into a parked motorbike on my street, before immediately driving off after he realised what he’d done. Unfortunately for him, my sister-in-law (who had witnessed the scene through the magic of Facetime) had screenshotted the incident, while I managed to nab the details of the van as it drove away.

I saw the owner of the motorbike rush out just as the van drove off, as well as her elderly mother and a few other neighbours. I went outside and let the woman know that I’d caught the details of the offender, and she thanked me and asked me to keep the pictures on my phone.

She was understandably upset, and wanted to focus on her poor motorbike, so I let her know I’d keep the evidence and that I’d be a witness to the event should they require one for insurance purposes.

An unusual turn of events brings a new friend

The next day, I normally would have been at work, but weirdly, there ended up being some sort of traffic incident that led to my usually-20-minute-drive to work looking like an hour long. My editor and I agreed it was best for me to go back home and work from there. And try again in a couple of hours once the traffic had died down. This was the only reason I ended up being at home on a Wednesday morning, and is the reason I have a new friend.

Not ten minutes after arriving back home – and in a bit of a mood about the half an hour I’d wasted sat in traffic – my doorbell rang. Very unusual for nine o’clock in the morning. When I opened it, I found the elderly mother of the motorbike owner at my door, with a bunch of flowers in her shopping trolley.

She introduced herself as June*, and thanked me profusely for my help the night before – not that I felt I’d done much. She also gave me her daughter’s mobile number, and asked if I wouldn’t mind sending the pictures of the incident to her. I agreed, and thanked her again for the gorgeous flowers, before I watched her walk back to her house, not a 10 second walk from my own, and smiled at the coincidence that had allowed me to have this conversation with her this morning. I put my flowers in vase, feeling as though my day had perked up slightly from my stressful morning.

It made my day when she said ‘you’re such a lovely girl, I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done.’

Another coincidence

By the time I’d finished a Zoom meeting and had made myself a coffee, it was about an hour later. I attempted to send the images and details of the van to June’s daughter, but I kept being met with an ‘unknown number’ notification. Only then did I realise June had given me the wrong number – she’d only written down 10 digits instead of 11.

I popped over to her house to let her know about her mistake and to note down the actual number. When I got there, June immediately invited me in. We had a little discussion about the events of the night before, I got the correct number, and then I made to leave. June walked me to the door, where we ended up continuing our conversation for a further five minutes, her stood in the doorway, me stood outside on the doorstep.

“June,” I said, “would you like me to come back in? I’m worried you’re letting all the heat out!”

“Oh yes, do come in! Have a seat,” she ordered.

Cementing the friendship

45 minutes later, after a full tour of June’s home, an introduction of all her family members via their photographs on the wall, and the story of how her and her husband had moved her in the 80s – the conversations speckled with little bits of neighbourly gossip – I left June’s home. I asked her if she would like me to leave my phone number with her, in case she wanted to keep me updated about the motorbike, or just fancied a chat.

“I’d love that, ducky. Do you mind putting it in my phone for me? My daughter usually does stuff like that – I haven’t a clue how to do those things!”

I happily obliged, and made sure to let her know that if she ever needed me to pop to the shops for her, help around the house, or drive her anywhere, she just had to let me know.

“Or, of course, if you just fancy a cup of tea and a natter, you know where I am!” I said as I walked out the door.

“Oh no, I don’t drink tea.” June responded seriously. “Only black coffee or a gin and tonic for me!” She giggled and gave me a tap on the arm.

“That suits me!” I said.

The emotional impact

I knew I’d made her day by spending that time with her, letting her talk about her grandchildren and her marriage. While her daughters visit often, and she has a few friends on the street, the fact is she spends most of the day alone in her home watching the television. She must have valued having someone else over to while away a bit of the time, and it made me feel good too, hearing another’s life stories.

The next day, I was off to do a big shop, so I popped over and asked if she needed anything. She assured me that she’d already been out and picked up some bits, but thanked me all the same. After a 10 minute chat – in which she gushed over my Mini Cooper and laughed about how much bigger it is compared to the one she owned in the sixties – June looked at me sheepishly.

“Do you think I could give you a cuddle, ducky? You’re such a lovely girl, I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done.” Of course I obliged, and since then we’ve spoken almost every day.

If I happen to speak to her around 5pm, she’ll let me know she’s just about to have a gin and tonic and that she’ll be thinking of me when she drinks it.

She often thanks me ‘for all I do’, but in reality, I’m not doing much. A five minute phone call here and then and a chat outside her house takes no effort and barely any time from me, but for her, it means the world.

Make the effort

You never know your neighbour’s circumstances, and you can’t ever truly know how someone is feeling. It is imperative to make an effort with people, both friends and strangers, as you just might make their day. I would like to think someone would do the same for me – in fact I’m lucky to have friends and family that do.

Of course, I never intended to make a 84-year-old friend last week. But through unprecedented circumstances, I’ve gained one, and it’s been valuable for us both.

A wave, a smile, a cup of tea (or gin and tonic) can do the world of good for someone. Every person has different experiences of life and you can gain so much through a conversation. Lightening someone’s load while learning new things seems to be a win-win situation to me.

Check on your friends, check on your family members, and check on your neighbours. Likewise, reach out to people if you need to. You don’t have to spill your woes, but simply knowing someone is there to chat over a brew can inject that much needed serotonin in your life.

A cup of tea can make a huge difference!

According to the Samaritans website, “we know there’s no such thing as ‘Blue Monday’ – we all have our good days and our bad days, and those aren’t for the calendar to decide.” They’re encouraging people to connect with people to share how they feel over a nice warm cup of tea. It’s partincularly important as friendships have changed over lockdown too.

Why is Brew Monday important?

Thankfully, mental health awareness is increasing over time, but some of us are still a bit uncertain when it comes to openly discussing our emotions. Now, we’re not suggesting a cup of tea will solve your problems, but having a conversation with someone can truly start the powerful journey of healing.

A cup of tea is not always just a cup of tea. It can be the difference between a good day and a bad day, particularly if you are sharing the time with someone.

It’s not a substitute for therapy, and if you feel you are suffering and would like to seek professional help or support, we have provided helpful links at the bottom of this page to help you.

Get the most out of your cuppa

On top of the emotional advantages to sharing a brew and some time with someone, there are physical benefits to be had to drinking tea too.

According to dietician Dr Carrie Ruxton at the Tea Advisory Panel, data shows that: “eight in 10 British adults say drinking tea helps them to combat stress, with a third (35%) get comfort from a cuppa that helps to reduce frustration. Even the act of putting on the kettle creates a feeling of relaxation, according to six in 10 (58%) adults in the research poll we reviewed.

“Tea is nature’s de-stressor thanks to compounds in the tea plant which are released when we make a brew. Firstly, black, and green teas contain plant polyphenols which relax and open up the blood vessel which supply the brain, leading to an influx of nutrients and oxygen. Secondly, black tea uniquely contains a substance called L-theanine which makes us feel calm and focussed at the same time. It’s probably that which delivers the feeling of calm we enjoy when we sit down with a warming cuppa.”

Going forward

Why not make Brew Monday a weekly or monthly activity? You could play card games, do some crafts, or just sit and watch the TV for half an hour. You don’t have to sit and talk the whole time.

Don’t forget the plethora of teas available now. For the price of your PG Tips you could try fruit teas, or even decaffeinated teas if you’re on a caffeine detox. Have a look at the health benefits to each tea and pick ones that seem beneficial to you.

You could make a bit of a plan out of it, trying a different flavour each time you see your tea buddy. Your options are limitless!

If you are being affected by any negative thoughts or feelings, or would like some additional support, follow the resources below and contact your GP.

• Samaritans
• MIND
• MIND Coping Methods
• NHS Mental Health Services

Carly Pepperell

Carly gets to do everything under the sun, including writing, editing, taking photos, creating stories, and swanning around at launches. She can down a glass of Prosecco without pausing for breath, and aims to be the youngest Pulitzer winner ever.

The post Brew Monday not Blue Monday. Stick the kettle on, it’s time to talk appeared first on Silver Magazine.

For many of us, lockdown has been harsh, whether that be to our brains or our bodies. Our mental wellbeing has been affected by COVID, but our physical health has also taken a toll. And as you step cautiously on to the scales (again) you should perhaps be asking yourself, “am I obese?”

Sorry. Not a nice word, obese.

How did we get here?

With people furloughed, both working from home and generally being stuck indoors, physical activity fell. Walking to work, going out and about, gyms closed…

And who could forget the comfort eating (and drinking!) we did? Not that we’re judging – sometimes all that got us through the days was great portions of comfort food or a vast gin and tonic.

But the end result is unavoidable. Many of us have piled on weight, and January seems like a good time to look at this.

What actually is obesity?

If you’ve had to breathe in to do up your jeans after lockdown, or bought a bigger size, you’re probably thinking it’s not too serious. You’ve just put a bit on, right? But it’s easier to be clinically obese than you think.

[perfectpullquote align=”left” bordertop=”false” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]BMI is where you’ll find the truth, not on the bathroom scales[/perfectpullquote]

It’s not just about weight. It’s about your Body Mass Index (BMI), which takes into consideration your age and height too. It’s about distribution of weight, and lifestyle. As an example, you can be 5’3” and at 12 stone be classed as obese on the scale. But add another six inches at the same weight, and you’re defined as a healthy weight.

Many of us already know or have checked our BMIs, thinking perhaps we are only a few pounds overweight, only to be left horrified at the results. And it definitely feels harsher for shorter people! But the BMI is where you’ll find the truth, not on the bathroom scales.

If you’re not sure how to calculate your BMI, there’s an easy form on the NHS website.

So is it all about how fat you are?

Not really. Obesity isn’t about being perceived as visibly ‘fat’. It’s a name given to a category on a weight spectrum which exists to monitor health. Obesity can lead to high cholesterol and high blood pressure which in turn can cause heart attacks, heart failure, and strokes.

Of course, being healthy isn’t just about the numbers; it’s also about exercise and diet. For example, someone who weighs more than their friend may exercise more and have a low cholesterol diet. Their friend, however, could have an unbalanced diet and unhealthy habits.

The impact of lockdown obesity

Shockingly, an estimated two-thirds of adults in the UK are above a healthy weight, with at least half of those considered obese.

More than 40% of adults have gained weight during the pandemic

Gaining obesity status during lockdown – while entirely normal for a lot of people – created more consequences that normal. Being obese could lead to people being hospitalised pre-COVID, but the danger was greater during the pandemic due to the double risk of complications from COVID-19.

More than 40% of adults have gained weight during the pandemic, with the average addition coming in at half a stone (at least for us!).

With £6.1 billion being spent on obesity-related illnesses per year – which is predicted to go up to £9.7 billion per year by 2050 – it’s time to think about our health.

Risks of obesity include:

• Reduced life expectancy
• Cardiovascular disease
• Type two diabetes
• At least 12 kinds of cancer
• Liver and respiratory diseases

The Dos and Don’ts of battling obesity

How not to lose weight

Who hasn’t tried a crash diet? Let’s face it, most of us have dabbled in a fad diet somewhere along the line, but they’re neither proactive nor healthy.

… when we break our diets, we feel guilt and regret

There are the infamous ones, including juice diets, seven-day ‘detoxes’, and that weird thing with maple syrup and lemon that Beyonce does, all of which claim to help with ‘rapid weight loss’. These diets rely on severe restriction of food and calorific intake. This is unsustainable in the long term, and it can often result in people reverting to the bad habits that made them overweight in the first place.

Then there’s other unhealthy eating habits, like stopping eating our favourite foods, cutting out entire food groups, eating foods we hate (celery we’re looking at you), or starving ourselves to the point of exhaustion. But this isn’t a long-term solution, nor is it healthy.

It’s also a downer on our mental health, because when we break our diets, we feel guilt and regret. And after the past couple of years, we understand only too well how important mental health is.

Slow and steady wins the race

It’s the small habits we change that can make a long-term difference; start small to achieve the big changes.

1. Maybe not the obvious. Look at your drinks choices

Yes fizzy drinks, coffees, and teas are way more delicious than water, but people don’t realise what difference it makes to decrease the number of sugary drinks you’re consuming. Start swapping some of those drinks for some good old H2O.

2. Ease up on the alcohol consumption

We all know it – though we may not like to hear it. Alcohol can have a huge impact on your weight. Reducing your intake of alcohol can help with weight loss and reduce your blood pressure, so it’s a win-win.

3. Regular amounts of small exercise

You don’t have to go mad! It can be tempting to view exercise as an intense activity. But exercise can be a simple walk, gentle jogging, leisurely swimming, cycling, or even yoga. The key is to do something you love, something you’ll keep doing. Even if it’s just walking the dog.

The important part is that you’re moving around and getting the blood pumping around your heart. Committing to two hours of exercise a week is a good start: that’s four days of 30 minutes of exercise.

It can be simple to incorporate that into your life, like walking your dog for longer, cycling to the shop instead of driving, or maybe just doing some yoga/Pilates in front of the TV in the evening. It’s always fun with a friend too, so buddy up. You can join Facebook groups and keep an eye out for local announcements for people looking to exercise with friendly faces.

4. Eat more fruit and veg

I mean… this one is just so obvious right? Many of us struggle to get our five a day. A lot of us don’t even like fruit and veg! Trick yourself by making food you can sneak veggies into, like soups and stews.

Top tip: always carry a piece of fruit around with you. If you’re like me, when you get hungry you’ll reach for it out of convenience.

5. Decrease your processed grains

Processed grains (for that read white) like bread and bagels aren’t terribly nutritious, despite being delicious. They can cause a spike in your blood sugar which can then translate into cravings. Swapping your morning cereal or toast for a protein-filled meal, like eggs, will keep you feeling full for longer. And opt for wholegrain alternatives.

The takeaway (pun intended)

We don’t need to say ditch the takeaways, do we? But just in case – not only are they high fat, most delivery meals or processed foods are heavy on sugar and salt. Get in the kitchen. Delete those apps!

Your weight isn’t just about how you look, but more about your health. It’s important to look after your body, as it does so much for you.

Obesity can lead to physically detrimental problems, and it has a huge impact on our health care. But don’t starve yourself out of guilt and don’t be ashamed. Small steps are the way forward: take it one day at a time and start to change those habits.

If there is one thing you take away from this article, let it be this: you’re not alone. Lockdown has been hard for all of us, and everyone has struggled in some way… so don’t be too hard on yourself.

Not sure where to begin?

Better Health – NHS  is a free weight loss plan app with a 12-week program with lots of support. Launched by the NHS as an attempt to battle the rising problem of obesity.

Support Groups – Obesity UK shows you the available support groups for you to choose which one aligns with your needs.

Healthy eating – British Heart Foundation gives you a guide on healthy eating including how to maintain a balanced diet.

Lili Lowe

Lili works across all the channels; writing articles, taking photographs, creating content, and designing eye-capturing imagery. She’s an animal-lover who cries just seeing a picture of a baby sloth.

The post That lockdown stone: should you really be asking, ‘am I obese?’ appeared first on Silver Magazine.

It has been said that friends are the family you choose, but lockdown has affected many friendships. For many it’s been make or break.

Friendships provide us with reliable alliance, support, validation, and emotional security. They’re highly significant in our lives, contributing more to our wellbeing than we might realise. Keeping them going during lockdown, however, has not been without its challenges.

Friends may fill different roles, so it makes sense to have several, rather than placing high expectations on just one. But what happens when you can’t see them?

How did your friendships hold up in lockdown?

A Nuffield Report Covid 19 Social Study, just published by University College London, indicates that relationships during lockdown often changed. 12% of respondents had experienced a relationship breakdown – although the study did not define what type of relationship that might be. This happened more with younger people (21%) than with those over 60 (5%).

…people who are more vulnerable … are more likely to report worsening friendships and relationships during lockdown.

Looking at this from a different angle, however, it is reassuring that the majority continued to maintain their relationships, with approximately one in five saying that these had got better, especially with neighbours.

Cheryl Lloyd at the Nuffield Foundation said, “This research shows that relationships with neighbours have improved since the COVID-19 crisis, especially for 30–59-year-olds.” While this suggests a resurgence in community spirit, it is cause for concern that the survey also says that “people who are more vulnerable … are more likely to report worsening friendships and relationships during lockdown.” There was a particular concern raised for those who were unable to see people outside the home – friendships need regular communication to thrive.

Several of my own acquaintances reported that, despite not being able to meet face to face, relationships have in many ways become closer, though that has taken more thought and effort. Remembering to call people regularly, sending greeting cards, and, where possible, suggest socially distanced walks, has been the mainstay of these friendships.

In some ways it has been easier to contact people, because they are more likely to be at home, although there is always the risk that you interrupt working hours. Understanding that someone is ‘at work’ although they’re actually at home can be hard to remember.

…socially distanced meetings at the front door or garden gate are better for mental health than a zoom call that ends in renewed silence and isolation.

Some extended family members have been roped in to support home-schooling, so time for friends has been replaced by increased family commitments. One of the findings of a recent Mori poll is that many report improved family-child relationships, as there is more time with each other and less work-home conflict.

Virtual contact, although acknowledged as a valuable tool for connection, has not been without its downside. Some older people reported that it increased a sense of loneliness, especially when coupled with the stress of learning how to manage technology. It would seem that socially distanced meetings at the front door or garden gate are better for mental health than a zoom call that ends in renewed silence and isolation.

The lack of touch has also been hard for many. Safe physical contact promotes oxytocin, the feel-good hormone and a 25 second hug is enough for a significant wellbeing boost. Should we need to lockdown again it is worth considering who might be in your ‘cuddle bubble’.

One other person is all you need – even a pet! Pet hugs definitely count.

Not all friendships are the same

A useful metaphor about friendship is that it is like holding a piece of precious porcelain in the palm of your hand. If you hold it too tightly you will crush it, if you hold it too lightly it may slip through your fingers. Finding that balance is not always easy, and possibly requires more emotional literacy than first appears. Friendships are mutual, so, as in a romantic relationship, both partners need awareness of give and take.

Some friendships are transient, others are life-long over time and distance. Some are deep, others more casual.  Research by Sandstrom and Dunn says that daily interactions with those who may be classified as ‘weak ties’ promote both connection and feelings of happiness. We don’t always need deep and meaningful.

Friendships in lockdown have often been conducted over the phone or internet. Whatever the parameters, some things are likely to be critical for maintaining healthy interactions, whether that is in real time or on virtual platforms.

Friendship and finding the right balance

It is likely that one person may require more help and support than the other at any one time. In a strong alliance this is perfectly acceptable. It becomes less so however, if this becomes a consistent pattern. This can stoke resentment over time. And the result that the friendship ceases to be healthy.

Being tuned into what matters for your friend shows them that they matter to you

In a balanced interaction each person shows an interest in the welfare and activities of the other, asking questions that demonstrate that concern. Even better is remembering the content of the last conversation and asking for follow-up information. Being tuned into what matters for your friend shows them that they matter to you. If your memory doesn’t serve you that well just take up a position of curiosity and ask open-ended questions.

A wonderful 94-year-old – initially a friend of my mother’s and now a friend of mine – lives alone and has this skill finely honed. She says nothing much happens in her life, so she lives vicariously through others. You feel she really wants to know what is going on for you, and is consequently a joy to be with. She is my role model, should I ever get to that fine age!

How do you respond to your friends’ good news?

A study by Shelly Gable and colleagues explores how one person responds when the other shares good news about themselves, such as a promotion or winning a prize. There are four options: no interest, such as “oh yeh – what’s for dinner?”; a positive but passive response, as in “oh, that’s good”; a negative retort pointing out all the downsides (or talking immediately about what is happening for them); or a positive, constructive response, conveying genuine enthusiasm and giving credit for the good news. Such as “hey, wow, that’s great, you deserve this”.

The research shows that active constructive responding contributes significantly to the likelihood of a continuing relationship. We may see ourselves primarily as being there for each other in times of trouble, but it is just as important, perhaps even more so, that we are there in times of celebration and show how pleased we are for our friend, however envious we might feel.

How to actually listen so your friend feels heard

The pandemic has had its claws into the most resilient of us. Even if we have not been ill, many have struggled with grief, loss, stress, and anxiety. Friends may be the only real resource for comfort and understanding. But many of us often don’t know how best to respond to someone in crisis.

Ask an open question, together with a caring statement, such as, “you sound at your wits’ end / pretty miserable / what’s going on?” If your friend says they are ‘fine’, just ask again – “no, really, tell me”.

Some people are not comfortable talking about problems or the way they feel, especially men. They need to know it’s OK, you won’t think the worse of them, and that you will keep confidences. Then show you are listening, by giving comments such as, “go on / that’s tough / so sorry to hear this.”

Try to avoid ‘fixing’. Acknowledging how someone is feeling and that their concerns are real for them is validating and helpful. We may see ourselves as a kind person and therefore want to help. But this may lead us to quickly make suggestions and advice about what best to do. Just staying with the emotion that someone is expressing makes them feel their distress is being heard, and is much more useful. It’s easy to say, “If I were you …” – but you are not them. Be a listener, not a problem-solver.

Reconnecting with faltering friendships

Although some friendships during Covid may have become closer, others have faltered, or even failed. Not every friendship is for life, some are situation or time specific, and you may decide that a particular relationship has run its course and have little incentive to revive it. But other friends may be more significant, and you want to reconnect.

In the first instance it is probably best to send a brief but warm message. On-line cards saying ‘Just Thinking of You’, or posting a real card saying, “Saw this and thought of you; wondering how you are”, are gentle reminders of past good times. You could then follow that up with a text saying you were thinking of calling and suggesting a time. If the person is local you could then suggest meeting up on neutral ground, maybe for a coffee.

If they are willing take it from there, a good plan is to show interest in everything that has happened for them since you last spoke. Give them motivation to re-connect with you. It is of course possible that you are now well and truly off their Christmas card list yourself! A rejection always hurts, but unless you are aware of something you need to apologise for, try not to take this too personally. Their life may have simply moved on. Focus on those who really do want to be friends with you.

Building positive communities

Having strong, supportive relationships in our lives is the most significant factor for individual wellbeing; beyond wealth, health, or social status. But friendship is on a wide continuum. From those in our more intimate circle such as family and close friends, to those in our wider circle. Such as colleagues, neighbours, and others in the community, or further afield.

Pulling together in times of crisis is often the upside of disaster

There was a groundswell of community connection in lockdown. Friendliness is good for communities, and ultimately the world we live in. People not only came out of their houses and leaned out of their windows to applaud or bash saucepans to show appreciation of the NHS and keyworkers. There was also an increase in acts of kindness, where neighbours checked in on each other.

Pulling together in times of crisis is often the upside of disaster and a feature of post-traumatic growth. When the chips are down, most people care and contribute. We need each other.

Getting to know someone is the first step towards breaking down barriers and ultimately friendship. Street parties, community gardens, school fairs, even watching the game with others in the pub, are now possible as we move into a post-pandemic life. Not everyone will become the best of mates of course. But friendliness towards each other makes a big difference to how we feel about where we live. It doesn’t need to be anything that takes planning over time. It can be spontaneous and an ‘in the moment’ gesture.

A couple of weeks ago my one-year-old granddaughter lost her beloved ‘Monkey’ in the local park. She is too young to express any feelings about this. But was undoubtedly very excited when she caught sight of it a week later, hanging on a doorknob in the local high street. The monkey had this sign pinned on it:

“I MISS MY CHILD: Found on roof in some weird water so dad/mum might wanna wash me first before I can go back to give hugs”

This is a beautiful example of community friendship and kindness – someone taking the time and trouble to think of others. A note of heartfelt thanks was pinned back to the same doorknob.

Random acts of kindness do not just benefit the recipient, they also boost the wellbeing of the giver. The science suggests that kindness is also contagious and can be taught as well as caught.

International Day of Friendship

If we want our children and grandchildren to live in a world where people reach out with friendship rather than abuse, taking action now matters. We saw this recently in the warm, positive messages that were left fon the defaced mural of Marcus Rashford. These young men have become role models for the next generation. They show that care and kindness are not soft options, but the basis of a happier and fairer world.

Most people want love rather than hate in their lives, so perhaps it is time for those positive voices to be louder, and for children to learn the skills and attitudes that enable them to value each other and build healthy relationships, not only in their immediate world but across cultures.

Ten years ago, the United Nations declared Friday 30th July as International Friendship Day. The idea that friendship between peoples, countries, cultures and individuals can inspire peace efforts and build bridges.

This is an annual event now, placing emphasis on involving young people in community activities with different cultures. It promotes international understanding and respect for diversity. The next generation will become future parents, workers, and leaders. What happens now will determine the relationships they have, and the decisions they make for that future.

But young people need the adults in their lives to provide them with opportunities, support, encouragement. They need positive role models to create that better world. It is up to all of us.

It is time for a post pandemic re-set. Let’s put friendship at the top of the agenda.

Sue Roffey is co-author of Creating the World We Want to Live In: How Positive Psychology Can Build a Brighter Future, (2021, Routledge)

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Soaring prices, increased time at home, and a desperate effort to amuse the kids are all factors that saw a rise in dog ownership during lockdown. We’ll talk more about how you can avoid contributing to the misery that is unethical dog breeding another time. But first, with dogs under threat, how can you avoid your own dog being stolen?

Dogs are being taken from cars, from gardens, outside shops, even snatched from people walking them. There are stories circulating about dog thieves marking dog-owning houses with cable ties outside, which may or may not be true.

And a quick glimpse at the cess-pits for animals that is Gumtree or Craigslist shows that prices have rocketed to ridiculous heights. So if you’re a dog owner, it’s wise to take extra security measures.

What’s really happening?

The Kennel Club reports that normally 2,000 dogs are stolen every year across the UK, but that the past year has seen a rise in thefts of nearly 20%. Less than 5% of cases result in conviction, and only approximately 22% of stolen dogs are reunited with their owners.

This means a whopping 1,560 dogs each year never see their families again. And to make matters worse, the legal system doesn’t seem to have a fitting punishment for the act of stealing someone’s dog.

At the moment, dogs are classed as ‘property’ under the Theft Act 1968 in British law. What this means is that a dog thief may be punished in the same way as someone who steals an everyday inanimate object, like a mobile phone or bicycle.

And why do they get stolen? Inspector Andrea Leahy, who is based at Sussex Police’s Rural Crime Team says, “Dog theft is an abhorrent crime where criminals selfishly steal beloved pets from their families – sometimes to exploit these poor creatures by selling them on at inflated prices or breeding them for monetary gain.”

The emotional impact

Leahy goes on to explain the physical and mental consequences of dog theft on the victim. “The emotional impact of a missing dog is considerable, with victims left bereft and searching for their much-loved family member. In some cases not knowing whether they have been lost or taken.

“Unfortunately, because of the nature of these incidents, it can sometimes be difficult for police to identify whether or not a crime has occurred and, if it has, if there are any realistic investigative lines of enquiry.”

The feeling of loss and grief one feels after a dog is stolen is similar in severity to the response felt to a missing person

The feeling of loss and grief one feels after a dog is stolen is similar in severity to the response felt to a missing person. According to the Dog Trust’s briefing on the current dog theft situation, people mourning the loss of a dog fear they cannot openly grieve. They feel they won’t be taken seriously.

The briefing describes: “‘Disenfranchised grief’ is the term used to describe grief which is not acknowledged by society … People mourning the loss of a dog can often be faced with unsympathetic comments, like: ‘it’s only a dog’.

“A study involving in-depth interviews with dog owners who had experienced dog theft found that 30% reported feelings of ‘loss, grief or mourning’; 48% described themselves as ‘devastated’ and 37% suffered from ‘severe psychological or physiological effects’ after their dog was stolen.”

How they’re being stolen

Shockingly, just over half of all of dogs are stolen from gardens and/or people’s homes. This implies an enormous amount of dog thefts are carried out by confident thieves. Who are absolutely not afraid to come onto your property to steal from you.

Other ways in which dog thieves are working is by snatching dogs on their daily walks. Many thieves are targeting parks, woods and gardens – common dog-walking spots – and taking dogs that are off their lead. In some cases, dogs are even being snatched whilst being walked on the lead, with single female walkers being the main targets.

There are specific groups of dogs that are being targeted, too. Yasmin Tompkins from the Pug Dog Welfare and Rescue Association (PDWRA) explained which dogs are falling victim to stealing.

Small breeds … dominate these lists, perhaps because they’re easier to steal without being seen

“French bulldogs are near the top of the all breeds on the list at the moment. Small breeds including pugs, Pomeranians, Maltese, chihuahuas, all dominate these lists, perhaps because they’re easier to steal without being seen.

“Staffies (Staffordshire Bull Terriers) are popular too – less easy to steal and prohibitively expensive to buy – but because they look fierce, they’re taken for use as guard dogs, and maybe even used in dog fighting. Labradoodles and spaniels are also featuring more now.”

Why is it happening?

Whilst there is no specific evidence on the reasoning behind every dognap, there are a few main motives for the crime.

Yasmin told us that the three main reasons for dog theft are usually for breeding purposes, as bait for dog fighting, and for simply selling on at a higher price.

Only 22% of stolen dogs are reunited with their families

“Sadly, some do end up as bait dogs. Un-neutered younger dogs/bitches will definitely be seen as breeding machines and sold on for that purpose. Others are sold as family pets to those that can’t afford regular prices through ‘breeders’. At the end of the day, it’s all free and ‘easy’ money to the thieves. Puppies especially have been sought after during lockdown because of their value, so thieves have largely targeted them, even if this means breaking into homes.”

How to support your dog’s separation anxiety as you return to work

How to avoid your dog being stolen

For goodness sake, spend some time TRAINING YOUR DOG!

Ensure your dog is fully trained, particularly in recall. They should run straight back to you when called. Don’t forget, dogs can run a lot quicker than humans, so if you do spot a potential threat, the chances of them being caught while running back to you will be minimised. Whereas if you’ve got to chase your dog… Do the training.

Think about what you’re posting online

Got a new puppy? Posting about where you’re planning to go for your first walk? Instagramming your dog and tagging in the location? Think about this stuff very carefully. You’re very visible.

Secure your gardens

If they are out in the garden, make sure you’re keeping an eye on them, and that any gates or fences are secure. Do not leave them unattended, even if they’re only a metre away from you. The reality is that opportunists won’t hesitate to snatch your dog if that’s what they’re after.

Walk safely

Walk your dog(s) with a companion, and keep an eye on each other’s dogs. If you have a friend or family member with dogs, arrange to go on your walks together. This will deter potential thieves, as they will be less likely to attempt an abduction if there is more than one person to potentially fight off.

Don’t make them vulnerable

No you don’t need to take them in the car every time you go to the shops. And absolutely you shouldn’t be tying them up outside places on their own.

Keep to busier areas

Always walk your dogs in well-lit, busy areas. Of course dog thieves don’t just operate at night, but the chances of them attacking you in broad daylight in front of loads of people are lower.

It’s always worth carrying something to distract, disarm or draw attention, like a whistle

Stay alert

When you’re out walking, always be aware of your surroundings and limit your distractions, such as being on your phone or listening to music. Be alert.

Prepare to surprise

Yasmin suggests some form of personal protection, and wearing bright, visible clothing. It’s always worth carrying something to distract, disarm or draw attention, like a whistle.

Update details

Make sure to keep microchip details up-to-date, especially if you move home or change your phone number.

Further advice from the experts

The Dog’s Trust suggests the following advice to prevent your dog from being stolen, in three simple stages:

SAFE: secure your property and garden

SPOTTABLE: keep them in sight and train them return

SEARCHABLE: know what steps to take if they go missing

Sussex Police advice

You can protect your dog from being stolen or getting lost by:

• Ensuring your pet is microchipped and registered with up to date information
• Investing in a collar and name tag, and use your surname rather than your pet’s name on name tags. Make sure to include your telephone number so you can be easily contacted if your pet is found. Your dog should always wear a collar and ID tag with your name and address on it as this is a legal requirement when your dog is in a public place
• Taking plenty of clear photos of your pet and remember to include any distinctive markings that could identify them
• Not leaving your dog unsupervised in the garden, the car or outside shops if at all possible
• Review your social media security settings, and be careful with the details you share, especially when it comes to your pets, your location or your favourite walking spots

Pay attention to your surroundings and know where your dog is at all times when out walking

• Pay attention to your surroundings and know where your dog is at all times when out walking. Be mindful of anyone trying to distract you or draw your dog’s attention away from you. If you feel that someone is following or watching you and your dog in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, move away from them and call police
• We know that some dogs may live in kennels outside. Please ensure you make it as hard as possible for some to break in. Use multiple locks and have CCTV cameras covering the kennel as a deterrent
• Ensure all gates are locked at top and bottom with a shoot bolt and padlock
• Ensure gardens and yards are secure so that no one can gain entry or pull your dog out. Make sure fences and hedges are secure, with no gaps that a dog can squeeze through
• Consider driveway alarms and CCTV – these can act as a visual as well as a physical deterrent

What if my dog does get stolen?

If you do fall victim to dog theft, make sure to follow the correct procedure:

• Report to the police straight away, and get a Crime Reference Number (CRN) from them
• Alert your local council, dog warden, vets and rescue centres
• Contact your microchip company to flag as stolen
• Register on DogLost with your CRN at stolen@doglost.co.uk
• Share images and details across social media platforms, and print out posters and flyers for your area

Carly Pepperell

Carly gets to do everything under the sun, including writing, editing, taking photos, creating stories, and swanning around at launches. She can down a glass of Prosecco without pausing for breath, and aims to be the youngest Pulitzer winner ever.

The post Dog theft is soaring – how to avoid your dog being stolen appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Not everyone is locked down, but more of us are spending time at home. And hey, the rule of six is a teeny bit restrictive. So here’s some things to do at home, online, with friends, or on your tod.

1. Pizza in a box to your door

No, we don’t mean delivery pizza. We mean the fun of making a pizza, with all the basic, traditional ingredients delivered in a box. The boxes come with balls of dough to make the base, plus tomato sauce, fresh basil, mozzarella, parmesan etc.

The best bit here is that you get great pizza ingredients. And then get to add your own toppings without breaking the bank. Call us old-fashioned but we don’t think adding olives and extra cheese to a pizza should cost the best part of a tenner on top. Fun to do as a group, fun with famalam. And stand away from that pineapple.

Comes in two sizes –
The Due – for two at £17.50
The Famiglia – for four @ £27.50
www.dough-re-me.co.uk

2. Cocktail making and exclusive masterclass online

There’s quite a few box kits out there with the ingredients for specific cocktails, with a recipe card included. But this one is a bit different, and we love it. Watch the video.

We like this because it comes with an online masterclass. Learn how to make it like a pro, with a proper class from a highly experienced cocktail master! Great fun to do as a group online. Love that they offer non-alcoholic options too, as it’s Stoptober.

You pay for the class, which is £100 for 45 minutes, but obviously you can split the cost with chums.

Use your own ingredients, or they have box kits starting from £30
www.mixologygroup.co.uk

3. Make your own Indian feast – spice kits and recipe box

Everything you need to make an authentic Indian feast at home. The kit includes a recipe booklet to start you off, and six exclusive spice blends, created specifically by Mandira. Suitable for vegetarians and vegans. Gluten, nut and preservative free.

The kit contains onion bhaji masala, chicken or meat masala, Bombay potato masala, chilli masala, chai masala and garam masala. Cook up a Ruby in your bubble.

Spice kits £21
www.mandiraskitchen.com

4. Messy Halloween baking, with little kids (or big kids)!

This is a really fun activity bundle for Halloween, complete with a spooky mummy biscuit baking kit, monster slime popcorn kit, and monster biscuit bag craft activity. Each box fits though your letterbox and comes with everything you need to make monster slime and spooky biscuits, as well as a kit for decorating.

Fun with friends, but probably more fun with little fingers. Something to muck about with the children or grandchildren.

Halloween Activity Bundle £19.99
www.craftandcrumb.com

5. Whisky Festival in a Box, with tasting boxes

This is a fairly large scale event and one for those who love a drop of malt or peat or whatever. It’s a three day festival with tastings classes online, but also quizzes and other stuff. Everything will be available online and for free all weekend. But if you want to join in the tastings, you buy a box for £35 for one of the sessions.

The boxes include six whiskies, a tasting glass, can of Larkfire Wild Water for Whisky, a pin badge, and a pipette. Themed tasting sessions include Scotch whiskies, Asian whiskies, world whiskies etc. A whisky lover’s dream. If you miss it live you can watch it afterwards.

Whisky Festival in a Box, 16 – 18 October 2020
www.thewhiskylounge.com

6. Luxey grooming kit for men – because good hands are important

It’s not just women who like to look and feel good. Treat your hands to a bit of love – especially as you’re washing them so much more.

This kit includes things like hand scrub and cream; grooming items such as clippers, scissors, tweezers etc; and a nifty little pouch. Maybe not exactly a party in a box, but a box to prepare you for a party!

Available from Boots – the Champneys Men Deluxe Grooming Kit £14
www.boots.com/champneys

7. Cove Vodka cocktails in a box – Cosmos or Royales?

Nice and straightforward, this is cocktail combos in a box. We loved the look of a few of these cocktail boxes and kits. But came down in favour of the Cosmo, or maybe the Royale. We like it classic and classy, what can we say? Also how cute are those little bottles of Cointreau?!

We say try a few of these kits with friends, either online or together in the flesh. Not exactly challenging, but fun, and quality ingredients.

Cove Cocktails Cosmopolitan Kit – contains enough for four cocktails £30
www.devoncove.co.uk

8. ESPA – the full body pampering experience in a kit

Literally launching today (2 October), this is the ultimate in spa at home luxury. Those that know, know that ESPA is guaranteed to make you feel magical. And this collection includes an embarrassment of riches. Spa night at home with girlfriends? Absolutely perfect for this. Crack open the champagne and revel in the goodies, which include body polish, serum, hair mask, Gua Sha tool for massage, plenty of creams… grownup sleepover anyone?

Create a sanctuary at home from top to toe – The Complete Retreat Collection £180
www.espaskincare.com

9. And relax, with this gentle box of relaxing goodies

If you’re looking for something a bit more holistic and relaxing, this is the one for you. Particularly if you fancy a bit of me-time. The box contents have been selected to give you seven ways to reduce stress, relax the mind and soothe a tired body.

The box contains a wellbeing rollerball, heated eye mask, rose quartz crystal, singing bowls download and mint tea. Something to take along to your small yoga group perhaps, or just indulge yourself with at home. Ommm.

RRP £25 available from
www.sensoryretreats.com

10. Make your own gin with botanicals

Missing your favourite gin bar? Did you know it’s pretty easy to make your own gin blend at home, champions? This box comes with a recipe booklet and a bunch of fragrant botanical ingredients in little tins. Which you can use for garnishing your already-made gin, or make your own. Everything you need is included.

Gin Botanicals Tin with 7 Botanicals, £24.99
www.spicekitchenuk.com

11 Time of Your Life beauty boxes

TOYL is a beauty subscription box created specifically for mature skin. Packed with beauty products, specifically chosen for our age group and themed to meet your beauty needs throughout the year, TOYL is unique. The luxey, high quality contents are always worth over £100, and each month you receive products relevant to the time of year. From a shake-up of skincare in the Autumn, to travel products in May, glamour in December and home spa for January.

Monthly box subscription only £35, cancel any time
www.toyl.co.uk

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Judi flying the silver flag
Photo Todd Jacobucci

Over lockdown I have worn my hair in a ponytail the whole time. And slowly but surely a new, braver me is emerging. At 56 it’s one I’m beginning to accept, and it seems I’m not alone.

A quick search of Instagram reveals the hashtag #greyhair has over two million posts. And there’s a proliferation of similar accounts, positively promoting women with platinum, grey, or silver hair colour.

Celebrities including Emma Thompson, Cate Blanchett, Helen Mirren, and Dame Judi Dench have undoubtedly helped this trend. As have articles saturating national media, and hashtags (like one of our own favourites, #SilverIsTheNewBlack). And stars like Lady Gaga are making silver hair a positive choice for even younger women.

It’s hip to be grey

Caroline Gray

Where it was once associated with images of old crones and witches, it’s now become positively trendy to grow out the grey hair. And finally women are feeling like they can be silver tops, and wear it with pride.

Former model turned jewellery designer, Caroline Gray, 52, says, ‘’My hair really started to turn in my mid-40s. The first time the grey conversation happened with my now husband was when I was about 47, just before marrying. We were in the cinema when he said, ‘when are you going to start dyeing your hair?’

Pippa Best

“The look on his face was priceless when I said I wasn’t. Of course I care about my appearance, but I’m also a great believer in being true to yourself. And it’s your body, so your choice.’’

Script editor Pippa Best, 47, went grey at 35 after becoming a mum. She says whilst initially unsure, she now gets so many compliments on her long silver hair that she has grown to love it.

Inspiring others

Sarah Laker

For others, changing colour was not such a surprise. Sarah Laker, 50, who runs Marple Stationery in Stockport, says her grandma went white in her thirties and she followed the same path: “I started dyeing in my 20s, but then when I was 34 I was off work with vertigo. I couldn’t bear my hair being touched so I had it cut really short. Then when I was well and it was time to go back to work I actually liked the grey! So I was grey before it was a trendy thing to do.”

Friends have dubbed her their ‘ginspiration’ and many have also stopped colouring, but she hasn’t been without her critics. Sarah was annoyed to be told by a customer that she could look 10 years younger if she dyed her hair. She says: ’Why would I want to look 10 years younger? I’m completely happy with myself and my life; I have a lovely husband of nearly 28 years, two beautiful daughters, and my own business.’’

Why do people judge the grey?

…we have to fight the fear of ageing from a very early age. Ageism is an implicit bias

Behavioural psychologist Prof Carolyn Mair PhD, author of The Psychology of Fashion, says such comments happen because there is still a preoccupation with eternal youth.

‘’Women, and increasingly men, are socialised into believing that to be successful in any aspect of life, they have to be beautiful. And as being beautiful is equated with being young, we have to fight the fear of ageing from a very early age. Ageism is an implicit bias.

“Since Lady Gaga dyed her hair silver, it has been a trend for younger women too. But this is different to naturally greying hair, which is an explicit sign of ageing and which has been seen negatively.’’

Want to boost the feel-good endophins in your brain naturally?

Is it different for men?

Historically, men have never really had to deal with such judgement when they grow out the grey. Older men are often tagged as distinguished ‘silver foxes’. Think George Clooney, Jeff Goldblum, Pierce Brosnan and many more.

Michael Facherty, 69, says he was ‘salt and pepper’ in his 40s, and grey by his 50s, but welcomed the change. “I used to be ginger, and I bless the day that my hair and beard turned white. There is a lot of demand for a Father Christmas/ Santa with a real white beard! Also, not being called Ginge is good too.’’

Former BBC Midlands Today newsreader Richard Uridge, 59, says going grey was never issue for him. “I honestly can’t remember, it was so long ago. I probably started going grey 20 years ago but it was so incremental I barely noticed it happening. And even now I only realise I’m fully silver (well, let’s be honest, white) when I look back at pictures of the young raven-haired me.”

Richard Uridge before and after

He acknowledges women have a harder time than men in the ageing process adding ‘’I think men are partly (possibly largely) to blame for that inequality. Personally I have no problem with grey-haired women. My mum went grey prematurely – as they used to say – so I had a positive role model for the natural look.’’

Time for rebrand?!

Award-winning celebrity hairdresser, Phil Smith, believes whilst things are changing, ageing is still an issue. He says, “After 30 years of being a hairstylist, going grey is definitely a recurring concern for clients. It seems to me the fear isn’t about going grey or having grey hair, but the idea that it is associated with getting older and the fear of ageing.

“Despite grey hair being sported by influential celebs and the fashion industry’s finest – take Sarah Harris, Stacey London, and Tennille Murphy as examples – the fear of going grey is deep rooted. I try to encourage my clients to see the beauty in their greys, showing and explaining options on how it could enhance their look. But ultimately the decision is theirs.’’

A trip to the hairdressers can help ease the transition, and he recommends highlights or lowlights as blending through the roots and coloured ends will allow the grey not to be so obvious.

Growing out the shades of grey

Author Annemarie Flanagan

Grey is not a favourable word and is often still used in a negative sense; ‘what a grey day’, ‘you’re looking a bit grey – are you ill?’, so I prefer to say my hair is turning ‘silver’ and rather than feel defeated I’m welcoming this new stage.

As Prof Mair says, “Many women have decided to embrace the natural signs of ageing and not dye their hair. This can be empowering as it enables them to be authentic and not simply conform to societal norms and ageist prejudices.

“We all age, and as we do, we are likely to become more confident, more tolerant and more certain about what matters.’’

Lockdown has brought many positive developments; cleaner air, less traffic, shopping locally, getting to know your neighbours and letting nature take its course. Finally ditching the dye is one such silver lining.

THINKING OF GROWING OUT THE GREY?

• For a slow transition talk to your hairdresser consider highlights/lowlights
• Alternatively, go bold and get a shorter cut, start afresh! Grow out the grey hair without having to colour it
• The texture of grey hair is different as it loses colour and melanin. Swap out your usual shampoo and conditioner for silver-specific products
• Hair will also feel more wiry, so invest in some good hair masks and treat yourself
• Grey hair can yellow, so try a purple shampoo once a week this is aimed at enhancing the silver tones in your new natural colour
• Consider your natural colours and clothing too. Having different hair will affect how your clothes look on you
• Also revisit your makeup – it might be that you need a more dramatic look, or to tone down a bit

Annemarie Flanagan

The post Silver linings – lockdown meant I could finally grow out my grey appeared first on Silver Magazine.