At a time when many look forward to gathering with family and friends, the prospect of ‘Christmas for one’ can seem daunting. So, what can you do if you’re alone at Christmas?

Firstly, not everyone hates being alone at Christmas, so this article is aimed more at people who are on their tod, for whatever reason, and don’t really want to be. And it’s hard, knowing all the homes around you are celebrating with family, and noise, and the endless cooking, and arguing… ahem. But whether you’ve chosen to spend Christmas looking after number one, or have found yourself at a festive loose end, here’s how to make the most of the season in a single serving.

Eat what you like

Let’s face it, it’s probably not worth investing in an enormous Christmas turkey if you’re dining alone, but spending Christmas dinner solo doesn’t mean you have to do without. Take a trip to the shops to stock up on festive fayre in smaller portions and take the time to cook up something special for yourself on the day. Hotly recommended if you cannot be bothered to cook, is M&S pre-prepared food, so you can treat yourself without any bother. After all, you’re worth it.

Break up your day

Christmas Day with family often has a regimented structure to it. Presents are unwrapped in the morning, possibly a walk or carol concert. Lunch dominates the day. For those who like to indulge, there’s the King’s Speech. Perhaps other relatives or friends pop in. Then it’s bums on the couch for a Christmas film-fest.

While you may not have to work around specific timings, it makes sense to structure your day… your way. Think about creating bite-sized pieces – each one filled with something you enjoy, from a relaxing bath to your favourite film, from walking the dog to making that phone call.

The best part? You don’t have to check anyone else’s schedule.

Avoid comparisons

Anyone who’s seen a Christmas advert or sentimental film would be forgiven for thinking that all families gather together for laughter-filled feasts and sentimental cuddles come Christmas day. But let’s face it, the fantasy doesn’t live up to the reality for many of us.

If you’re feeling a little blue, imagining others basking in the heart of their family or having a blast with friends, remind yourself that around 50% of Brits admit to having an argument during the festive season. Divorce rates also increase in December and January. And according to a survey, the average spend on each child at Christmas is a whopping £420.

Reda more: Alcoholism and the chaos it causes at Christmas

Do whatever you like!

Christmas with a group often means compromise: whether its travelling to a venue, doing the cooking, buying, working out timings… people need to work around each other to create the ‘best fit’ scenario.

But if you’re spending Christmas on your own, you can do exactly what you want. This might mean getting out and volunteering, staying in and indulging, popping into friends in the evening, or attending events of your choosing. And if you just want to stay in your onesie and watch telly all day while drinking Baileys and eating M&S ready meals, do it.

“Volunteering makes my Christmas”

Anne Iarchy, 52, Barnet, Coeliac and Gluten Free Coach

Anne Iarchy

I don’t have any immediate family, and many of my friends live abroad or have commitments over Christmas, so for the last few years I’ve found myself alone on the day itself. Rather than stay in, I volunteer with my local Rotary Club, serving Christmas dinner to elderly people in the community.

It’s a fabulous event: everyone wears a Christmas jumper, there’s live piano music, wine, sherry and good cheer. And as well as having company on the day as a result, I get a great buzz from knowing that I’ve made a difference to others.

After hours, I’m at home and I tend to spend my evening chilling out. Last year, I roasted a leg of lamb in the slow cooker to enjoy for my dinner. Christmassing alone wasn’t my first choice, but now it’s something I really look forward to.

Florence Archery, 50, London, Founder of ‘Yoga Retreats and More’

Fiona Archery, photo: Joanne Withers Photography

I’ve spent several Christmases alone over the years. I’m divorced and my son, 17, sometimes spends Christmas with his father. As I’m originally from France, I don’t have any family in the UK. But I’ve learned to appreciate a different sort of Christmas to the one you see in the commercials. I appreciate the stillness: I live in London, but the streets are empty, there is less traffic. The city is lit up and I fall in love with it all over again.

I spend my day being Number 1, make myself something nice to eat, watch TV and take my ‘fur kids’ for a walk along the river. There’s a real sense of freedom from expectations.

This year, I’m going to be having lunch with two friends and my son will probably pop in. Both of my friends would have been alone otherwise. It will be nice to come together to have our own kind of Christmas. Next year, I’m running a retreat at Christmas time for others who might otherwise be alone and I’m really looking forward to it.

Repositioning Christmas for one

Being faced with Christmas Day alone can be an unhappy prospect. You might feel angry or resentful too. Perhaps you’re bereaved and absolutely dreading it.

Rather than thinking of a solo Christmas as a lonely time, if you are going to be alone, try to reposition it – the opportunity to spend Christmas the way you want. ‘You can embrace quiet, and enjoy the day as you wish,’ says Florence.

If you’d rather be occupied, charities such as Crisis at Christmas are always looking for volunteers. Or consider inviting a friend round. There will be other people in the same situation as you. ‘Don’t wait to be invited, be the one to make it happen,’ advises Florence. ‘Although avoid talking about your solo Christmas to people you’d rather not spend too much time with – you might end up with an invitation!’

Some decide to take solo holidays to get some winter sun, or join in on a winter retreat. ‘Getting the summer dresses out of the wardrobe whilst it’s really cold in the UK is very satisfying.’

Gillian Harvey

Gillian is a freelance journalist and author of best-selling novels including The Bordeaux Book Club and A Year at the French Farmhouse. Having spent 14 years living in France, she now lives in Norfolk.

The post Alone at Christmas: festive fun for one? appeared first on Silver Magazine.

Motorhomes are more popular than ever before. This is primarily due to the domestic travel trend that has dominated the decade so far, with many choosing to explore the country via the open road. A total of 16,608 new motorhomes were registered with the DVLA between 2020 and 2021, an 8 per cent increase on pre-pandemic levels.

The draw of owning a motorhome is clear: unrestricted, independent travel with instant access to the comforts of home. However, these vehicles are large and bulky and can be cumbersome to operate. This can lead to accidents both on the road and during manoeuvres.

Accidents are not always avoidable, and it is best to invest in comprehensive motorhome insurance for financial protection in the event of a collision. However, there are several steps you can take to protect yourself from common mishaps and stay safe when driving a motorhome.

How to stay safe on the road in a motorhome

Plan your journey

When preparing for your next trip, take time to plan your journey in advance.

Motorhomes are considerably bigger than cars, which means that narrow roads are a challenge. Insufficient space and infrequent passing places can make country lanes almost impassable for motorhomes. Plan your route with the size of your vehicle in mind, sticking mainly to A roads.

You will also need to consider your overnight pitstops if you are going on a longer journey or a multi-stop tour of your destination.

Consider the weather

Before you set off, consider the weather conditions on driving days and adjust your plans if necessary.

In situations of heavy rain or snow, or even low sunlight, visibility is poor. This can exacerbate problems with mirrors and blind spots and leave you reliant on knowing the dimensions of your vehicle. This is challenging enough in a car, let alone transport as large as a motorhome.

The size and shape of motorhomes also makes them vulnerable to wind. Unlike a car with sleek lines and curved panels, motorhomes give the wind nowhere to go but straight into the sides of the vehicle. This can lead to motorhomes being blown off course or even over, in high winds.

Travel together

One of the most important things to do is to travel together where possible.

Having another person with you is infinitely helpful. For one, they can stand outside of the vehicle when you are performing manoeuvres and direct you away from collisions. For another, they can assist with navigation, leaving you free to concentrate on driving.

Your travel partner is most valuable if they are also able to drive the motorhome. Fatigue is a factor in 4 per cent of fatal crashes in Britain, so balance the driving between you to avoid becoming tired behind the wheel. Regular rest stops are also essential to staying safe on the road in your motorhome.

Staycation vs vaction – the popularity of UK holidays

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Until very recently, there was something I had to address as a single woman. Whilst I was happy to go to the cinema solo, take in an exhibition on my own, or eat out at a table for one, I’d never found myself taking a holiday alone.

Since the demise of my long marriage, I have discovered that I quite like the single life. Not having to explain myself, or answer to anyone. Doing exactly what I like, when I like, and with whom I like. I’ve made new friends, taken up new interests and, I suppose you’d say, reinvented myself. Maybe not quite to the heights of a phoenix rising from the ashes. But I’m definitely in the fledgling category. 

I’m happy with all this, but the possibility of time away – a singleton holiday, if you will – remained on my ‘to do’ list. So, I decided it was time to do something about this. 

Where shall I go?!

It was already July but I didn’t want to hang about. I wanted to go soon. But before I did, I made another list of what exactly I was looking for. 

A short break in Europe, I reckoned, was the way to go for this first solo outing. I wanted to go somewhere warm but not too hot. A destination that combined a bit of beach life with a side helping of culture and history. And an aura of old-school glamour would not go amiss, either. Plus, the kind of destination where I might even try something else way out of my comfort zone. A new activity of the sporting kind, perhaps?

A short break in Europe, I reckoned, was the way to go for this first solo outing

While browsing on the internet for the place that would hopefully tick most of my boxes, I happened to chance upon the Portuguese coastal town of Cascais. Only half an hour from the capital, Lisbon, I gleaned that this picturesque former fishing village appeared to retain much of its maritime charm while combined with fabulous beaches. And also a noble, almost aristocratic feel, as befitted the go-to destination of many dethroned European monarchies during the first half of the 20th century. 

Cascais

It sounded right up my ‘rua’. When I read on one site that ‘It is not necessary to bring company to explore the wonders of this unique resort’, I felt myself warming to the idea of a short break in Cascais. And then when I noticed that one of my musical heroes, Van Morrison, just happened to be headlining at the Cool Jazz festival the very same weekend I planned to take off, well, it was pretty much a done deal. A triple-day trip, I reckoned, would be just the ticket. Three days would be just about right, with Van-the-Man playing on my final night. 

Getting there

Taking the early afternoon TAP Airways flight from Heathrow to Lisbon, I was excited yet apprehensive. I had never done anything like this before. What if I hated being on my own when everyone else seemed coupled (and loved) up? What if I felt like the ultimate Billie No-Mates? What if I felt unsafe at any point? What if my voice-box seized up due to lack of use? What if? What if? What if? 

I told the mad voice in my head to shut the f**k up. It. Was. Three. Days. That’s all. Three days was nothing. If the worst came to the worst, I could treat the break as a silent retreat. Or plot out the novel I’d always promised myself I would write. Or even read all the novels I’d downloaded onto my kindle.

I told the mad voice in my head to shut the f**k up. It. Was. Three. Days. That’s all.

Plus, I had my own bespoke tour guide. I had written myself a fairly detailed itinerary before setting off. I reasoned it would be good to have a set schedule so that I wouldn’t, at any time, find my mind wandering as I people watched, causing me to think, ‘Look at all those couples and happy families seemingly having the best time’ (even if they’re really not). 

I was picked up at the airport, having already arranged a transfer with my hotel, the almost-on-the beach Vila Gale. Something of a last-minute booking, the four-star hotel was a good choice being just a matter of seconds from the marina, just 10 minutes-walk from the historic centre of Cascais and also close to the Marechal Carmona Park where the Cool Jazz festival was taking place. I was delighted with my spacious third floor room and balcony. 

Exploring the locale

Cascais Marina

Strolling into town for dinner was a feast for the eyes as I passed the marina with its resident fleet of swish-looking yachts, the imposing 16th century citadel, and the literally-on-the-beach, fairy tale castle-like Condes de Castro Guimaraes Palace.

Never once did I feel unsafe as a lone woman. I had pre-booked to eat at the Lota da Esquina, a restaurant housed in the former fish auction house. 

Read more: are retreats calling you?

Condes de Castro Guimaraes Palace

The setting was stunning – as was the repast. The tomato and strawberry gazpacho, tuna ceviche, and sauteed fresher-than-fresh fish will remain in my memory food bank for a long time. 

…never once did I feel unsafe as a lone woman

As for the dining solo thing; or ‘comendo sozinho’ as they say in Portugal? Well, I’ll admit to feeling quite self-conscious when my fellow diners were made up of mostly two, three, and foursomes but I found that a couple of stiff G&Ts pre-dinner made this dissipate in a rather dreamy kind of way. Besides, the waiting staff were lovely and chatty, and didn’t once look at me with pity! 

And I had company. Not my ubiquitous smartphone – I purposely left that in my bag – but a book. 28 Portuguese Poets: A Bilingual Anthology, which I’d ordered online before travelling. A tad pretentious? Perhaps, but just the thought of that made me laugh. The poems were generally absorbing, and turning the pages between forkfuls of delicious food made me feel like the lead in a moody foreign movie.

Day two – heading out

Day two of my solo short break was spent in Sintra, a historic, Unesco World Heritage site about 45 minutes-drive from Cascais. As per my bespoke itinerary, I had pre-booked an organised tour of this magical kingdom – think fairy tale, pastel-coloured-palaces set amongst lush, undulating emerald forests in the foothills of the Sintra Mountains, with Shortcuts Tourism. 

Did I arrange to meet up any with my lunch companions again? Er, no. While I’d had fun in their company, when you know, you know

A good choice, even if I do say so myself. We were a group of six in all and our guide Andre was everything you could wish for in a tour guide. Full of information, very funny, and his English was probably better than mine. The fantastical Monserrate Palace was a particular highlight. Beloved by romantic poet Lord Byron and featured in his poem Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage, this Taj Mahal-like edifice in miniature, combines gothic, Indian, and Moorish influences. While the gardens are spectacular, and home to species of trees and plants from all over the world. 

Sintra, Cascais – Pena Palace Turismo

We ended up in the very picturesque if rather touristy town of Sintra itself. Where we, as a group, sat down for a light lunch at a café by the main town square. It was nice to chat to the other members of the group – although it was the hugely entertaining guide Andre who did most of the talking. Did I arrange to meet up any with my lunch companions again? Er, no. While I’d had fun in their company, when you know, you know. And I felt extremely OK about dining solo again that evening.

Monserrate Palace

Returning to by mid-afternoon, I spent a couple of hours on the beach, braving a dip in the bracing but not overly rough Atlantic, before eating that evening at sublime seafood restaurant Marisco na Praca at Cascais Marina. 

Meeting new friends

It was here that I happened to get chatting to a group of uber-friendly women on the table next to me who were in the area on a golfing trip. I don’t know if it was because I’d already chatted to strangers earlier in the day – or because the Sangria I was drinking gave me a bit of Dutch courage – but I had no qualms about starting the conversation off. 

Tiger Woods I most definitely wasn’t but I did enjoy the experience

The woman sat nearest to me was wearing a lovely necklace which I complimented her on. Within minutes, they’d asked me to join them for a nightcap. My meeting with this group of girls led me in turn to decide on just what my aforementioned sporting activity would be – a category left blank on my itinerary. Why not take a shot at the game my late father had been obsessed with? 

The next morning saw me on the driving range of the nearby Quinta da Marinha Golf Resort, taking an hour-long ’taster’ lesson, alongside another single lady. Tiger Woods I most definitely wasn’t but I did enjoy the experience. Especially when our teaching pro informed us that golf was as beneficial to the body as Pilates.

Time for Van Morrison

After an afternoon people-watching and sunning myself by the hotel pool, it was time for Van the Man at the Cool Jazz festival in the park. I’ve done some festivals in my time, but I can honestly say I have never attended a gig in such a stunning setting. We’re talking palm trees, grassy knolls, evening sunshine and an altogether languid vibe. This was cool with a capital C. 

Van Morrison playing at Cascais – photo: Alison James

I’d spoiled myself with a VIP ticket which included wine and delicious canapes – such a treat but I am worth it, I’d decided. As was Van himself. At an amazing 77-years-old, he sounded as good as ever – even if he hardly said a word between numbers and didn’t perform any of his hits! Not that I’d really expected him to. He is, by all accounts, famous for this. 

I was happy just to watch him perform but I found myself chatting to a group of Portuguese fans, who looked a good decade younger than me. No matter about, that, though. Experience and a growing confidence that maybe only comes with age – in addition to surviving a ruined marriage – has taught me that if you are open and interested in people, it’s not hard to get talking to them. My night ended at the festival’s 80s disco with me and the Portuguese 40-somethings getting into the groove. 

So how do I look back on this foray of stepping out on foreign soil for the first time on my own? 

I can honestly say it was one of the best short breaks I’d ever had. In a relatively short time, I’d done so much. I travelled solo, but I never felt lonely; I also felt a massive sense of achievement. 

Taking a break after a break-up? Intrigued by the idea of a solo trip? Just do it. Pack an open mind and a spirit of adventure in addition to a micro-holiday wardrobe. You have nothing to fear, and only exciting new experiences to look forward to. 

Alison James

The post My first time taking a holiday alone appeared first on Silver Magazine.