There’s a lot of pressure to have a ‘happy’ Christmas. But what if you’re on your own…

At a time when many look forward to gathering with family and friends, the prospect of ‘Christmas for one’ can seem daunting. So, what can you do if you’re alone at Christmas?

Firstly, not everyone hates being alone at Christmas, so this article is aimed more at people who are on their tod, for whatever reason, and don’t really want to be. And it’s hard, knowing all the homes around you are celebrating with family, and noise, and the endless cooking, and arguing… ahem. But whether you’ve chosen to spend Christmas looking after number one, or have found yourself at a festive loose end, here’s how to make the most of the season in a single serving.

Eat what you like

Let’s face it, it’s probably not worth investing in an enormous Christmas turkey if you’re dining alone, but spending Christmas dinner solo doesn’t mean you have to do without. Take a trip to the shops to stock up on festive fayre in smaller portions and take the time to cook up something special for yourself on the day. Hotly recommended if you cannot be bothered to cook, is M&S pre-prepared food, so you can treat yourself without any bother. After all, you’re worth it.

Break up your day

Christmas Day with family often has a regimented structure to it. Presents are unwrapped in the morning, possibly a walk or carol concert. Lunch dominates the day. For those who like to indulge, there’s the King’s Speech. Perhaps other relatives or friends pop in. Then it’s bums on the couch for a Christmas film-fest.

While you may not have to work around specific timings, it makes sense to structure your day… your way. Think about creating bite-sized pieces – each one filled with something you enjoy, from a relaxing bath to your favourite film, from walking the dog to making that phone call.

The best part? You don’t have to check anyone else’s schedule.

Avoid comparisons

Anyone who’s seen a Christmas advert or sentimental film would be forgiven for thinking that all families gather together for laughter-filled feasts and sentimental cuddles come Christmas day. But let’s face it, the fantasy doesn’t live up to the reality for many of us.

If you’re feeling a little blue, imagining others basking in the heart of their family or having a blast with friends, remind yourself that around 50% of Brits admit to having an argument during the festive season. Divorce rates also increase in December and January. And according to a survey, the average spend on each child at Christmas is a whopping £420.

Reda more: Alcoholism and the chaos it causes at Christmas

Do whatever you like!

Christmas with a group often means compromise: whether its travelling to a venue, doing the cooking, buying, working out timings… people need to work around each other to create the ‘best fit’ scenario.

But if you’re spending Christmas on your own, you can do exactly what you want. This might mean getting out and volunteering, staying in and indulging, popping into friends in the evening, or attending events of your choosing. And if you just want to stay in your onesie and watch telly all day while drinking Baileys and eating M&S ready meals, do it.

“Volunteering makes my Christmas”

Anne Iarchy, 52, Barnet, Coeliac and Gluten Free Coach

I don’t have any immediate family, and many of my friends live abroad or have commitments over Christmas, so for the last few years I’ve found myself alone on the day itself. Rather than stay in, I volunteer with my local Rotary Club, serving Christmas dinner to elderly people in the community.

It’s a fabulous event: everyone wears a Christmas jumper, there’s live piano music, wine, sherry and good cheer. And as well as having company on the day as a result, I get a great buzz from knowing that I’ve made a difference to others.

After hours, I’m at home and I tend to spend my evening chilling out. Last year, I roasted a leg of lamb in the slow cooker to enjoy for my dinner. Christmassing alone wasn’t my first choice, but now it’s something I really look forward to.

Florence Archery, 50, London, Founder of ‘Yoga Retreats and More’

I’ve spent several Christmases alone over the years. I’m divorced and my son, 17, sometimes spends Christmas with his father. As I’m originally from France, I don’t have any family in the UK. But I’ve learned to appreciate a different sort of Christmas to the one you see in the commercials. I appreciate the stillness: I live in London, but the streets are empty, there is less traffic. The city is lit up and I fall in love with it all over again.

I spend my day being Number 1, make myself something nice to eat, watch TV and take my ‘fur kids’ for a walk along the river. There’s a real sense of freedom from expectations.

This year, I’m going to be having lunch with two friends and my son will probably pop in. Both of my friends would have been alone otherwise. It will be nice to come together to have our own kind of Christmas. Next year, I’m running a retreat at Christmas time for others who might otherwise be alone and I’m really looking forward to it.

Repositioning Christmas for one

Being faced with Christmas Day alone can be an unhappy prospect. You might feel angry or resentful too. Perhaps you’re bereaved and absolutely dreading it.

Rather than thinking of a solo Christmas as a lonely time, if you are going to be alone, try to reposition it – the opportunity to spend Christmas the way you want. ‘You can embrace quiet, and enjoy the day as you wish,’ says Florence.

If you’d rather be occupied, charities such as Crisis at Christmas are always looking for volunteers. Or consider inviting a friend round. There will be other people in the same situation as you. ‘Don’t wait to be invited, be the one to make it happen,’ advises Florence. ‘Although avoid talking about your solo Christmas to people you’d rather not spend too much time with – you might end up with an invitation!’

Some decide to take solo holidays to get some winter sun, or join in on a winter retreat. ‘Getting the summer dresses out of the wardrobe whilst it’s really cold in the UK is very satisfying.’