Thinking you might have found ‘the one’?

There are times in life for exploring various romantic possibilities, without making a serious commitment to any one person. And then, there’s a time at which you might prefer to settle down, and enjoy the company of a person who’s really special to you. When you’re ready for a serious relationship.

Making the transition from a string of short, less involved relationships to a longer-term, serious one isn’t always easy though. How, exactly, do you work out whether you’re ready to make the leap?

You’re comfortable being alone

This might seem contrary but it’s important. If you’re entering into a relationship in order to avoid being alone, then the chances are that you’ll rush into bad decisions. For this reason, it’s worth reflecting on how you really feel in your own company.

If you’re insecure in yourself, then you might end up depending on another person for emotional support. While we all do this to some extent, it’s worth ensuring that you actually want something from another person, rather than just an escape from solitude.

Read more: why I love being single in my fifties

You’ve processed past relationship baggage

Relationships can be tough. Some of them can leave lasting scars. If you haven’t healed properly from a damaging past relationship, then you might end up allowing previous breakups to sabotage a new love.

For example, if someone in the past has cheated on you, then you might struggle to trust that your next relationship won’t end in the same way. Sometimes, talking to a professional counsellor, or a trusted friend, can help you to process things and move forward.

You’re willing to prioritise emotional and physical health

If a relationship is going to be committed and physical, then health should be a concern. For this reason, it’s a good idea to get yourself tested for a range of sexually transmitted diseases. Some of these can be asymptomatic, so to be sure that you’re both safe you could get an at home kit such as an HIV test.

This will allow you to demonstrate that you’re serious about the relationship, and that you care more about the safety of your partner than any sense of squeamishness.

You know what you want in a partner

The best relationships tend to succeed when the two parties have compatible values and goals. This doesn’t mean you need to agree on every political issue. What it does mean is that, if one of you doesn’t ever want kids, then it’s worth speaking up early on. Compose a list of deal-breaking qualities in a partner, and keep an open mind when it comes to qualities that are merely less than ideal.

You’re open to growth and change

All successful relationships involve an element of compromise. The other person should help you to grow, and bring the best from you. If you’re completely rigid in your outlook, then you might fail to get along with your partner. On the other hand, if you’re too willing to compromise, you might end up being less than honest. Often, you’ll forge your strongest bonds in the heat of a point of tension, during which you’ll need to adapt and learn from one another. Be ready and willing to do so!