Flights are SO last decade! It’s time for holidays on the ocean waves…

Let’s be honest, there is something undeniably appealing about the idea of unpacking your suitcase once and letting the scenery come to you, especially when the alternative is dragging your luggage through Heathrow or waiting for a delayed train at St Pancras. But the world of cruising has changed. It is no longer just about “blue rinse” brigades playing bridge or formal captains’ tables. The options now are staggering, and picking the wrong ship is the quickest way to ruin a perfectly good holiday. So how do you choose the right holiday at sea?

If you haven’t looked at a cruise brochure in the last decade, you are in for a shock. The industry has moved on from the days when the height of entertainment was a cabaret singer and a game of quoits. Nowadays, the variety of ships sailing out of Southampton, Dover, and Liverpool is frankly bewildering.

For the British traveller, the priorities are often a bit different than for our American cousins. We generally appreciate a good cup of tea in the cabin (a kettle is non-negotiable), we tend to be a bit more reserved about enforced socialising, and we have a very specific relationship with “dressing for dinner.” Some of us love the chance to break out the tuxedo, while others think a holiday means never having to wear a tie.

The danger is that the marketing can all look the same

Every website shows happy couples clutching glasses of champagne against a sunset. They don’t tell you that on Ship A you will be surrounded by 5,000 people and loud poolside DJs, while on Ship B the average age is 80 and the excitement peaks at the afternoon scone selection. Neither is “bad,” but if you end up on the wrong one, you will be miserable.

We need to look at this logically. It is about matching your personality and your budget to the “hardware” (the ship) and the “software” (the vibe). Whether you want to sail from a UK port to avoid airports entirely, or fly out to the Med for guaranteed sunshine, here is a breakdown of what is actually on offer.

The “no-fly” resort ships

For many Brits, the holiday starts the moment you step out of the car at the port. This sector is dominated by P&O Cruises, which is effectively the national cruise line. Their ships are built for British tastes. That means the plugs are the right three-pin shape, the prices are in sterling, and there is always a decent curry on the menu.

These ships, along with the Southampton-based vessels from Royal Caribbean and MSC, are massive. We are talking about floating towns. The newer P&O ships like Arvia and Iona have glass-roofed “SkyDomes” so you can enjoy the pool even when the weather in the Bay of Biscay is acting typically British.

These are brilliant for families. The kids’ clubs are usually excellent, giving parents a chance to escape to the gin bar. The atmosphere is lively but generally manageable. Just be aware that during the school holidays, these ships are packed to the rafters. If you are looking for peace and quiet in August, this is not where you will find it. Also, be prepared for the “sunbed wars”—getting a lounger by the pool on a sunny sea day requires military-level strategy.

The traditional experience

This is a very specific niche that thrives in the UK market. Lines like Fred. Olsen and Saga (which is strictly for the over-50s) offer a completely different pace of life. The ships are smaller, often older, and they have a classic maritime feel. You can actually tell you are on a boat, not a shopping centre.

The focus here is on comfort and familiarity. The crew often feels like family—many passengers return to the same ship year after year. The entertainment is more low-key: think lectures on naval history, classical recitals, and ballroom dancing rather than West End musicals.

Dining is a structured affair. You likely have a set table and a set time, which suits people who like routine and getting to know their tablemates. If you dread the idea of using an app to book your dinner, these traditional lines are a safe haven. They are less about “flash” and more about a quiet pint in the pub and a polite conversation.

The luxury cruises

If you recoil at the thought of signing a slip of paper every time you order a drink, you need to look at the luxury sector. This is the domain of – to name one – Swan Hellenic and the ultra-traditional Hebridean Island Cruises (a favourite of the late Queen).

The sticker shock on these can be intense, but for the British market, the “all-inclusive” nature is a massive selling point. We generally hate the American culture of constant tipping and adding tax. On a luxury line, the price you see is usually the price you pay. Your gratuities are covered, the wines are free-flowing, and the minibar is stocked with your preferences.

The ships are intimate suites-only vessels. You won’t be fighting for space. In fact, the space-to-passenger ratio is the real luxury here. You can find a quiet corner to read your book without hearing someone else’s conversation. The service is intuitive but not overbearing. They know you want a slice of lemon in your water, not lime, by the second day. It is refined, quiet, and incredibly relaxing.

River cruising

River cruising has exploded in popularity in the UK, largely thanks to TV programmes showing celebrities drifting down the Danube. Viking is the big name, but don’t overlook Riviera Travel (very popular with Brits) or TUI River Cruises.

This is the “civilised” way to see Europe. There is no sea sickness because the water is flat. You dock right in the centre of Cologne, Vienna, or Budapest. You walk off the ship, do your sightseeing, and come back for a four-course dinner.

It is a very social experience. The ships are small—usually under 200 passengers—so you will end up chatting to people. The demographic tends to be retired, well-travelled, and interested in culture. It is not a cheap option, but like the luxury ocean lines, a lot is included, usually wine with lunch and dinner and a daily excursion. Just don’t expect a casino or a climbing wall; the entertainment is usually a local musician or a quiz night.

Expedition voyages

We are a nation of nature lovers—blame David Attenborough—and expedition cruising appeals to that curiosity. This is about going to the Arctic, Antarctica, or the Galapagos. Hurtigruten is a classic choice here (originally a Norwegian mail boat service), but newer players like HX and Swan Hellenic are upgrading the experience.

This is not a holiday for lounging. You are up early, putting on waterproof trousers and lifejackets to jump into a Zodiac. You are there to learn. The “entertainment” team are marine biologists, geologists, and historians.

For the UK market, Noble Caledonia is a stalwart in this area. Their small ships go to places the big boys can’t, like the remote islands of Scotland (St Kilda, Orkney) or the smaller Greek islands. It is intellectual travel. The accommodation is comfortable but rarely ostentatious; the luxury is the access to the destination.

Adult-only options

Finally, a note on the rise of adult-only ships. Virgin Voyages (which sails from Portsmouth in the summer) has shaken things up. It is very different—no buffet, tattoo parlours on board, and a “rockstar” vibe. But don’t dismiss it as just for youngsters; the average age is often in the 40s and 50s. It appeals to people who want good food and late nights without any children running around. P&O also has two adult-only ships (Arcadia and Aurora) which offer a much more traditional, quiet experience for those who want to avoid the school holiday chaos.

To help you make up your mind, here is a quick summary:

• if you want a stress-free family holiday without flying, book a P&O or Royal Caribbean ship sailing from Southampton;
• if you prefer a “proper” ship with formal nights and a mature atmosphere, look at Fred Olsen or Titan;
• if you hate hidden costs and want impeccable service, the investment in a Luxury Cruise like Silversea or Seabourn is the way to go;
• if you want culture and convenience in the heart of Europe, choose a River Cruise with Riviera or Viking;
• if you want to see wildlife and don’t mind getting your boots muddy, book an Expedition voyage;
• if you want to avoid children entirely, look specifically for Virgin Voyages (for modern) or P&O’s Arcadia (for traditional).

Sources and further references

For the UK market, these are the best places to check reviews and prices:

• The Telegraph Travel (they have an excellent cruise section with very honest ship reviews);
• CLIA UK & Ireland (the official industry body).